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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Couple having sex in front of window

462 replies

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 10:05

My children’s bedrooms looks out toward a house in the distance that has a bedroom in which looks like a converted loft. They have big floor to ceiling windows and NO curtains.
We were told by my neighbour once that he saw the occupiers there having sex in full view in front of the window - this was during an afternoon.
My husband also witnessed their act just last night when settling the kids to bed. It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows. My husband said he saw a lot of detail.
Not to sound prude but I’m really concerned about my children one day seeing them doing it. I have both sons and a daughter and don’t really want to expose them to sex in this way.

I’ve been told I don’t really have much right to complain because it’s within their own home but I am thinking of writing a letter to politely ask if they would be able to get some blinds or curtains installed.
If they ignore it, is there anything else I could do?
What would you do?

OP posts:
YetanotherNC25 · 31/08/2025 10:16

You could not look? Your DH has clearly watched them ‘in the distance’ to see that level of detail. Close your curtains if you don’t want to see.
They’re allowed to have sex in their house. They’re also allowed to to choose not to have curtains spoiling their floor to ceiling windows.
And don’t write to them or you’ll sound even more like a prude.

MirrorMirrorontheFall · 31/08/2025 10:16

Honestly? I wouldn’t do anything at all.

If I caught a glimpse of them doing it, I’d roll my eyes, look away, and leave them to it.

Personperson · 31/08/2025 10:17

Just close your curtains?

They can do what they want in their house. Your responsibility to make sure your children don't see.

ElfAndSafetyBored · 31/08/2025 10:19

So PPs think it is OK to put on live sex shows? I’m not sure it is. It sounds like indecent exposure to me.

It’s not like OP has gone looking for it, or snuck into their garden to watch. She’s in her own home.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 31/08/2025 10:20

How hard is he watching to see all that detail ‘in the distance’ while putting his kids to bed really? Doesn’t sound like he just shut the curtains which would be my first step

MsTamborineMan · 31/08/2025 10:20

YetanotherNC25 · 31/08/2025 10:16

You could not look? Your DH has clearly watched them ‘in the distance’ to see that level of detail. Close your curtains if you don’t want to see.
They’re allowed to have sex in their house. They’re also allowed to to choose not to have curtains spoiling their floor to ceiling windows.
And don’t write to them or you’ll sound even more like a prude.

It'd hardly prudish to not want your young children to see people having sex. Moat adults would be horrified that a child could see you shagging from their bedroom window

jeaux90 · 31/08/2025 10:22

I’d write a letter.

Moveoverdarlin · 31/08/2025 10:23

My husband said he saw a lot of detail.

*LOL! Whilst clutching his binoculars and furiously wanking.

DysmalRadius · 31/08/2025 10:24

You could put window film on the kids windows so they get all the light without the floorshow.

DelphiniumBlue · 31/08/2025 10:24

Either they don't know that they can be seen (or not averting their minds to the possibility) or they are exhibitionists and actually like the idea of being seen.
I suppose you could let them know that their antics are visible, just in case they didn't realise, but my guess is that they are well aware and like it that way.

heldinadream · 31/08/2025 10:24

Light on and big windows?
It's deliberate. It's exhibitionism.
I'd be tempted to get the police to have a word.

Owly11 · 31/08/2025 10:24

They sound like exhibitionists who aren’t going to put curtains up for your sake, so there’s probably very little you can do. I would just ignore them and not give them the pleasure of knowing that anyone has even seen them, let alone been watching them.

LoveItaly · 31/08/2025 10:25

Just because they are physically in their own home doesn’t make it acceptable to show the public what they are doing, and it sounds as though they are getting a thrill out of it. Huge windows, no curtains and leaving the lights on? Honestly, why are people’s standards so low these days that they think this is ok? It’s horrible for others to see, and especially children.
I would write to them first and tell them to get some bloody curtains!

purehunners · 31/08/2025 10:25

ElfAndSafetyBored · 31/08/2025 10:19

So PPs think it is OK to put on live sex shows? I’m not sure it is. It sounds like indecent exposure to me.

It’s not like OP has gone looking for it, or snuck into their garden to watch. She’s in her own home.

This!

Moveoverdarlin · 31/08/2025 10:26

How far in the distance? I don’t think you can write a letter to a couple 200 yards away telling them where in their own home they can have sex.

Coconutter24 · 31/08/2025 10:27

My husband said he saw a lot of detail

So your DH was staring and watching? To see a lot of detail from a house in the distance that wasn’t a quick glance tell him to not let the kids catch him watching because he’ll draw their attention to it.

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 31/08/2025 10:27

I can't believe some of the PPs.

Of course you can do whatever you like in your own home, but if they are doing it right in front of a massive window, knowing they can be seen by anyone INCLUDING CHILDREN then this is just grim.

16plusDC · 31/08/2025 10:27

We have floor to ceiling windows and would always make sure the blinds are closed and we’re away from them as even shadows aren’t what neighbours want to see.

It seems like they are doing it on purpose for an extra thrill if people seeing them. I think somebody needs to knock on or post a letter and if it doesn’t stop I might report them.

StressedOot3 · 31/08/2025 10:27

I don't know if it's going to make a difference because I think some people like to be exhibitionist and find it risky knowing people could see. Sounds like this is why they are doing it.

I don't agree with previous comments saying don't look, shut your curtains etc. You shouldn't need to modify your behaviour and keep your kids room curtains shut 100% of the time due to selfish behaviour of others.

tipsyraven · 31/08/2025 10:28

I don’t want to see people shagging never mind children being exposed to it. I’d make it clear in my note that children are able to see them and suggest a privacy screen when they are having sex. I can understand people not wanting blinds or curtains but no-one wants to see them at it. I don’t know what you can do otherwise unless you think they are deliberately exposing themselves, in which case have a chat with the police. You could have some sort of privacy film on your kids bedroom but I personally wouldn’t want to do that.

Iloveyoubut · 31/08/2025 10:29

What is everyone going on about? You can’t just ‘do what you want in your own house’ ffs. Is it ok for someone to stand bollock naked at their window and masturbate for everyone to see? No. No it’s not! And it’s not OP’s job to make sure her kids have to hide behind curtains in their own home to avoid them seeing a pair of idiots shagging. You’re will within your rights to phone the police if you want. You’re not allowed to just bang away in full view of people … believe it or not! Ffs.

Comedycook · 31/08/2025 10:29

I disagree with the idea that you can do whatever you want in your own house. Does this mean a man could stand in his window exposing himself to passers by? Of course not

whitewineandsun · 31/08/2025 10:30

Coconutter24 · 31/08/2025 10:27

My husband said he saw a lot of detail

So your DH was staring and watching? To see a lot of detail from a house in the distance that wasn’t a quick glance tell him to not let the kids catch him watching because he’ll draw their attention to it.

I mean, this. Draw the curtains instead of looking.

SomewhatAnnoyed · 31/08/2025 10:30

I think you could report them actually. In the same way ppl can play music in their homes as long as it’s at an acceptable volume and doesn’t impact others - ppl are allowed to decorate and conduct activities in their home - as long as it doesn’t adversely affect others. Having sex in the afternoon or in front of windows with the lights on would be negatively impacting children. People have sex in their gardens and this is a grey area - but in a well lit window that ppl would naturally look at if it was dark - it’s all very well to say “dont look”.

Would you be happy for your (or any) 5 year old to glance up and see two naked people engaged in doggy or oral sex? Or choking, domination, degradation or potential consensual violence?

Telling them to “look away” is a bit late once they’ve seen it!

Outraging public decency etc are included in laws I can’t be bothered to look up right now, but there’s a difference between having sex in your house with the lights off and no curtains (or lights on in a cottage in a remote location where there is a greater expectation of privacy), and choosing to expose yourselves by putting the lights on in a curtainless room, or during the day when ppl can see in. That smacks of getting off on ppl watching or the thought that they might. But when this includes children who live nearby or would be walking past, living nearby, or on the way to the shops etc, that’s pretty gross and also potentially paedoey.

MimiGC · 31/08/2025 10:30

Two different adults have already seen them, once during the day and once in the evening, so it is only a matter of time before children see them. I would definitely tell the neighbours concerned and say that if they are seen again, you will report them to the local police.

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