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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Couple having sex in front of window

462 replies

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 10:05

My children’s bedrooms looks out toward a house in the distance that has a bedroom in which looks like a converted loft. They have big floor to ceiling windows and NO curtains.
We were told by my neighbour once that he saw the occupiers there having sex in full view in front of the window - this was during an afternoon.
My husband also witnessed their act just last night when settling the kids to bed. It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows. My husband said he saw a lot of detail.
Not to sound prude but I’m really concerned about my children one day seeing them doing it. I have both sons and a daughter and don’t really want to expose them to sex in this way.

I’ve been told I don’t really have much right to complain because it’s within their own home but I am thinking of writing a letter to politely ask if they would be able to get some blinds or curtains installed.
If they ignore it, is there anything else I could do?
What would you do?

OP posts:
LaughingCat · 31/08/2025 10:44

Edited as realised I was in the wrong. Mea culpa!

Coconutter24 · 31/08/2025 10:45

Allthegoodhorses · 31/08/2025 10:38

How else would you prove it? It would just be your word against there’s? I dunno really what’s right

Show quote history

You’d probably land yourself in trouble with that. “Hi officer I saw my neighbours having sex so I took some intimate photos without their knowledge or permission and I’m here to share them with you” 😳

Original poster
doremifaso · 31/08/2025 10:46

suitcasesarepacked · 31/08/2025 10:38

Hhhmmm. Probably not very hard at all.

We had a development issue where houses with big windows were going to be put in front of us. We invited the planner to our house to see other houses — further away - with equally large windows to illustrate the privacy issue.

We could both see the kids book that had been overlooked behind a chair - one if those ‘Not my …’ books. The planner then told me how she had a neighbour she saw stetting around his house naked, even further away than the houses I was showing her.

All I had to do was walk down my passage and glance into my own garden to see glimpses of private life in their house beyond.

I saw their teenage daughter getting dressed, the husband brushing his teeth wearing M&S pyjamas. She vacuumed every day twice a day, but missed the bloody book. I saw all of this just existing normally in my own home.

So I can totally believe sex acts are very easily seen and I’d HATE my kids to see that.

Show quote history

Yes exactly and I’m not going to change my behaviour to avoid looking out my own damn windows. We like watching sunsets and identifying the stars in the skies with our children - without having o run the risk of seeing someone doing it doggy style ffs

OP posts:
butterdish93 · 31/08/2025 10:46

Don’t write them a letter. You need to knock on their door and tell them it’s wrong.
they know what they’re doing. But it’s not ok to expose children to sex. And they need strongly reminding of that.

stitchy · 31/08/2025 10:47

Would people say 'don't look, just shut the curtains' if it was a man stood in front of the window wanking? Because that would also be in this own home and bedroom.

I would talk to the police about this

DenizenOfAisleOfShame · 31/08/2025 10:48

Why not take advantage? You could charge voyeuristic men to sit in your house and wait for the action. £50 a head (!) would net a decent profit and still allow for you to offer a few cups of tea and a ginger snap while they’re waiting. No binoculars or other viewing aids allowed to be brought in: you rent those out for extra.

Oneeyedonkey · 31/08/2025 10:49

Please go to the police OP
Please be that person
Please let us know how the officers keep their face straight

Arlingtonchase · 31/08/2025 10:50

I would write a letter, maybe phrasing it as wondering if they realised. (I might even pretend my children had seen them at it.) If they then carry on doing it, it’s deliberate and pure exhibitionism.

The people saying "just don't look" or implying the DH was deliberately watching are being silly. Yes the neighbours are entitled to do what they want in their own house, within reason, but would you say the same if they were having sex or masturbating in their front room by the window? (Which sounds like a euphemism!)

Why should anyone have to avoid looking out of their own bedroom window - and by the time you realise there’s something you don’t want to see, it’s too late.

Heronwatcher · 31/08/2025 10:50

Indecent exposure can definitely be committed in a private dwelling (it will depend on what can be seen) but in theory it’s possible.

www.tylerhoffman.co.uk/blog/can-you-be-charged-indecent-exposure-your-own-home

usedtobeaylis · 31/08/2025 10:50

A man in my village used to walk around by his window naked and was later arrested for sex offences. 'Just don't look' is not a valid solution. There ARE flashers and exhibitionists who do it for the buzz and are committing offences.

They may not know everyone can see them but I doubt it.

SuPollardsPolkaDotFrock · 31/08/2025 10:51

Not sure what planet half the people replying are on but here’s what happens in the real world. I once had a neighbour with exactly the same windows and was seen completely naked a number of times. The police paid him a visit after receiving complaints and told him that he could be seen clearly from the street completely naked and it was not acceptable with children on the street. He then put some curtains up. The end.

Imisscoffee2021 · 31/08/2025 10:52

Surprised people are jumping on you, I mean either they dont know they can be seen or they do and they like the idea, some people do as a form of reverse voyeurism.

However that's bringing people into your sex life without their consent, it's not like they live in a detached house and someone would have to go really out of their way to see through the windows. If people (and kids) can see by doing something as normal as looking out the window then it's potentially a problem.

People saying close curtains etc, it's a bit like the freedom from and freedom to argument. They want to be free to have sex in front of open windows, you want your kids to be free from seeing their sex acts from yours. In this case I think children being able to look out of their windows at the world outside trumps a couple wanting to have sex in full view. If it was reversed then the children would have to have no view from their bedrooms so that seems more unready able to me than the amorous couple just shutting the curtains or a blind for their antics.

valentinka31 · 31/08/2025 10:52

Moveoverdarlin · 31/08/2025 10:23

My husband said he saw a lot of detail.

*LOL! Whilst clutching his binoculars and furiously wanking.

haha yes well what does that mean? That visibility is clear and good? Any 'detail' is only a question of that. Somehow though it sounds like he's saying that from their positions etc you could see into her pussy 😂😂

Ok well I'd keep the curtains shut and I might even move the kids bedroom.

You could write a letter but it might make them do it more.

What kind of a street it is?! How far away are they? They must know people can see them..

usedtobeaylis · 31/08/2025 10:53

You should close your curtains but not the people putting on a live sex show, typical Mumsnet 😆

TicTac80 · 31/08/2025 10:53

Yes, people can do what they want in the privacy of their homes, but...having sex right by a large window (where people can see what you're doing!)...I'm sorry but no, that is not on at all. I'd report/talk to them/write to them. This isn't a walk through a red light district, neighbours don't want to see the equivalent of a sex show, and kids should not be seeing this sort of thing at all. The couple can't be that stupid that they don't realise that they could be seen by all and sundry. I sleep with curtains open (I like the natural light coming into my room to wake me up) but I always close my curtains before I undress/change as I don't want neighbours/kids playing out seeing me undressed.

upseedaisee · 31/08/2025 10:53

Either they're exhibionists or don't have a clue that they are part of an x-rated show for their neighbours.
I do understand your fears and I would not be happy about my children viewing it. So my solution would be to place privacy film on your son's bedroom window. Not the ideal solution, but it's what I'd do.
Edit to add, I would also contact the Police to ask their opinion.

ScrubbingPotatoes · 31/08/2025 10:53

Many years ago I had a neighbour repeatedly expose himself to me in an upstairs window whilst I was in the garden.

I ignored it until he did it when the downstairs flat’s children were in the garden and they noticed. The police took it seriously. Not sure of the outcome but he didn’t do it again (and then I moved away).

I think this is similar.

Pinstripepillow · 31/08/2025 10:54

YetanotherNC25 · 31/08/2025 10:16

You could not look? Your DH has clearly watched them ‘in the distance’ to see that level of detail. Close your curtains if you don’t want to see.
They’re allowed to have sex in their house. They’re also allowed to to choose not to have curtains spoiling their floor to ceiling windows.
And don’t write to them or you’ll sound even more like a prude.

I'd assume if they're doing it in front of a window, then there's an exhibitionist element to their fun and it's intentional. They're getting off on it in other words. They need to be told that children are potentially seeing this and that others seeing it don't want to see it. They shouldn't need to be told but obviously they are self absorbed.

JMSA · 31/08/2025 10:54

You’d better believe I’d say something. It’s really weird and disingenuous that posters on here are telling you to ignore it.
If the daylight shaggers were on here saying ‘AIBU: it’s not our problem that the neighbours’ kids can see us fuck’, they’d be given a roasting and rightfully so.
Mumsnet is seriously odd at times.

Beeloux · 31/08/2025 10:55

It’s disgusting and perverted theyre doing it knowing fine well children could be watching. They sound like a bunch of exhibitionists and creepy ones at that.

I’m in my twenties and no prude but I would be mortified if I knew people could see me having a shag, especially children!

As for those insinuating your husband is a creep for watching, I think most people would out of being shocked. It may have been only for a few seconds.

FastIser · 31/08/2025 10:58

YetanotherNC25 · 31/08/2025 10:16

You could not look? Your DH has clearly watched them ‘in the distance’ to see that level of detail. Close your curtains if you don’t want to see.
They’re allowed to have sex in their house. They’re also allowed to to choose not to have curtains spoiling their floor to ceiling windows.
And don’t write to them or you’ll sound even more like a prude.

🤢

FigTreeInEurope · 31/08/2025 10:59

Dh was so shocked by their public display, he nearly dropped his binoculars.

C152 · 31/08/2025 11:00

They're in their bedroom having sex. Perfectly normal. Their house is also apparently "at a distance" from yours. Presumably they aren't aware you can see them. If your DH has only seen them when putting the kids to bed, presumably it was night time and he drew the curtains on the kids' windows?

Beeloux · 31/08/2025 11:00

Also I don’t know why the hell people are expecting you to move your children’s room or keep the curtains closed at all times. Why the hell should you have to waste money or disrupt your living space to cater for a bunch of perverts.

I’d be putting a very firm letter through their door. Then can purchase a pair of curtains like any normal person and shag to their hearts content.