Couple having sex in front of window

[doremifaso]

My children’s bedrooms looks out toward a house in the distance that has a bedroom in which looks like a converted loft. They have big floor to ceiling windows and NO curtains.
We were told by my neighbour once that he saw the occupiers there having sex in full view in front of the window - this was during an afternoon.
My husband also witnessed their act just last night when settling the kids to bed. It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows. My husband said he saw a lot of detail.
Not to sound prude but I’m really concerned about my children one day seeing them doing it. I have both sons and a daughter and don’t really want to expose them to sex in this way.

I’ve been told I don’t really have much right to complain because it’s within their own home but I am thinking of writing a letter to politely ask if they would be able to get some blinds or curtains installed.
If they ignore it, is there anything else I could do?
What would you do?

And what would you want the police to do exactly?

I wouldn't want my children to see it but actually I wouldn't want to see it either and that is really an ok thing. There are a hundred different ways I could view people having sex if I want to but I don't want to. If you're the one having sex it's incumbent on YOU to do so privately.

Indeed, the actual distance will certainly be important if it were to go to court for example.
The other side of a residential street vs 300m away would potentially be viewed very differently. I note OP has refused to respond on the requests for the distance.

So the children have to have their curtains closed night and day?
That’s reasonable.

What would happen if OP was recording the view from her window and posted it online? Is that fair game too?

Posters are being deliberately disingenuous to try to appear "cool". It's a very weird aspect of this forum.

Also the OP said "in the distance" and the oddbods are queuing up to make oh so clever quips about binoculars.

I read the OP as the house being at the bottom of the garden, across the road, round the corner - not RIGHT next door, or a side window of one house looking into the side window of another house. Unless you are particularly hard of thought, you can imagine houses you may have been in where you can clearly see into someone's kitchen from your kitchen. As I come down the stairs, I can see the upper landing of my neighbour's house which is about 10 feet away. If you have a back garden, which backs onto someone else's back garden, and they have a massive glass extension on the back with big windows, of COURSE you are going to be able to see into those rooms from the rooms at the back of your house. Especially when it's dark and their lights are on. You would clearly be able to see (as the OP says) that they were "going at it doggy style".

You do need to address this OP, either anonymously or by reporting to the police.

Public Order Act 1986 (Section 5)
Outraging Public Decency (Common Law)
Sexual Offences Act 2003 (Section 66)

It's possible it could be illegal for them to be doing this, depending on if they seem to be deliberately performing the act knowing or intending for people to see.

I'd just report them to the police, they already know what they're doing, probably get a kick out of it.

They definitely know they can be seen, they’re doing it by a huge, unobscured window with the lights on 😅

It’s quite an easy fix for you to safeguard your children from this - put up blinds or window film to obscure the view from their rooms. When they’re going to bed I would expect the blinds to be down or curtains drawn anyway.

We have some good, inexpensive Venetian effect material blinds which you can adjust so they are fully or partially open or closed. B&Q etc do them.

I‘m not sure whether the couple doing it are braking any public indecency laws because they are so obviously doing it in plain sight - maybe you could research if you wanted to go down that route (sorry didn’t see the pps about this before posting)

They are commiting an indecency offence if (a) on view, (b) sexual in content, and (c) deliberate. If they repeat it after being notified (some have suggested posting a letter - I would only get involved anonymously myself), they meet all three. Report to the police online.

Mental isn't it? People going about their daily life must be the ones to adapt their normal reasonable behaviour to facilitate exhibitionists. More and more I don't believe many posters on here are authentic at all.

I’d confiscate DH’s binoculars, for a start.

Yes, there are always a bunch of kind of pervy people on mumsnet pretending public indecency is just fine and everyone who disagrees must be terribly uncool. I've noticed that too.

It’s a crime. Take a photo and report to police as indecent exposure.

Imagine a bloke standing naked in front of his window looking into a street and masturbating. Just because there’s two of them at it, makes no difference.

Or they make a hobby of disagreeing with an OP who expresses a totally normal reaction to something.

The whole thing is solved by grown adults not having sex where people can overlook them. That's basically it.

Tell them to stop having sex in front of children. Most people would be shamed by being told that by police.

They can do what they want in their house

No they can't you plonker 😂

I agree.

I read all the OP's posts 3 times to see if I'd missed the binoculars- nope, not there.

Posters jumping to conclusions.

Likewise the inference that her H is getting aroused by watching.

MN are super quick to condemn victim blaming when it suits but have obvious double standards.

Definitely. They're weirdos

Imagine putting on a sex show for the neighbours thinking you’re oh so cool, then getting prosecuted and your names appearing in the papers for everyone to see! 🤣🤣

Go to the police they can call and have a chat with them.

Fuck sake, some of the replies on this thread. Being on your own property doesn’t mean you can expose unwilling third parties and minors to sexual behaviour. What the actual fuck.

As it was in the distance you'll need a telephoto lens... and you will be the one invading their privacy.

I’d have a bit of fun with it. I’d post on the local residents group anonymously mentioning that there is a house locally that hasn’t invested in any curtains for their ceiling to floor window and unfortunately all upstairs activities are visible from your children’s bedroom window. That might lead to more people saying they too have been subject to an uninvited side show and it might get back to the correct people.

Oh come on. If you see something out of the ordinary....bug windows, sex, no curtains......you'd watch too out of sheer curiosity, surprise. I think they are exhibitionists who know what they are doing.