Family holiday, my parents gifted to me and are now saying my brother doesn’t have to pay

[FamilyHolidayTroubles]

My adult brother and I are going on a trip with my parents. It was said from the start that we had to pay for ourselves, and every month I’ve been putting aside a certain amount to make sure that I had my share covered, and all of my spending money for the trip.

I recently passed some very important professional exams, so my parents said they’d pay for my share of the trip - essentially gifting me my saved money back.

They’ve now said though that it would be unfair if my brother had to pay. Turns out he told my mum the other week that he’s not saved any money and wouldn’t be able to afford to go. AIBU to think this is a bit unfair? We’ve had over a year to save, and if he didn’t bother surely that’s his problem, not mine?

It is fair.

You both get a free trip, you also have £3000 you didn’t expect to have.

Grow up.

It’s infuriating isn’t it? He does nothing to save, while I break my back to do so, and he gets rewarded for it.

Look at it from your parents perspective. I'm sure they just want a nice holiday with both of you.
Now you've got all this money to spend on another trip, or put towards a house. And your brother still has nothing.

HOW OLD IS YOUR BROTHER??

I sort of see where you’re coming from but you do sound churlish.

Of course it’s not. He hadn’t done anything to deserve it.

Yanbu to side eye your mum 😒😒

But you'd be 100% unreasonable to make a thing of it. Just leave it, as the response will simply be 'dont come'

Fwiw my estranged mum and sd used to do this kind of thing to me. Just lie and manipulate and then act like i'm crazy for pointing out the lies. We have been estranged for years now (due to bigger examples ofc)

Take the holiday and move on. Are you closer to your dad? x

Well dont go then

You sound petulant

Nor has my daughter!

I still want her on holiday with the family so will pay!!

Trying to reason with you is exhausting. Stay bitter, stay miserable! Enjoy your FREE trip and enjoy spending all your savings! ✌️

Of course it’s not. He hadn’t done anything to deserve it.

Nor have you!

Gaining qualifications at 25 is for you, it's not for your parents sake.

Neither have you really though? You studied, presumably your choice, to get the results you wanted. None of that “deserves” a holiday though. You studied and got your results, that’s what you deserved. The holiday wasn’t the reason you did those exams!

You live at your parents don’t you??

Does your brother?

You’re getting a free trip and three grand in cash because you worked your butt off; he’s just getting the trip.

Does that help?

It’s childish to expect your parents to reward you as an adult for working hard and good exam results. That’s for children who don’t have the maturity to see that hard work and success come with rewards from success.

Me and my dad get on like a house on fire, he doesn’t have a ton of say over things like this. Money is my mum’s domain.

it’s not like I’m ranting to them. I’m just fucking furious that I did so much to save and he hasn’t had to, and still gets the trip.

Wow, people on here are real dicks this morning.
I get it OP. I would feel the same.

But children don't have to do things to 'deserve' money or gifts from their parents. Sometimes parents just want to do that for their children.

I would bet that the Op lives at home with her parents
and her brother doesn’t

OP surely you realise that often time parents treat their children even for no reason at all, even if they’ve done nothing to ‘deserve’ it, right? Are you always this competitive with your brother?

It was a gift because they’re proud. Is that okay?

I get it OP. I would feel the same.

Misery loves company!

OP, I totally get why you are upset. In the very early 2000s, my dad told me that whatever I save for a deposit on a house, he would match. I scrimped and saved for 2 years, missing out on fun things, watching house prices shoot up. Then, a month or two after I bought my first house, he handed my sister, who had not saved a penny, the equivalent.

To outsiders, we were given the same and treated fairly but, to me, I had worked hard and made sacrifices for my deposit and she hadn't.

It's not worth carry a grudge about it though. Enjoy your holiday and treat yourself to something nice with your savings.

I do get it and think many pps are not really understanding the situation.

However, you aren’t going to change them.

I would suggest some therapy and to cut down on how much you see your parents.

You’ve done an amazing thing - passing these exams self funded whilst working so hard. I know the SQE is incredibly hard and expensive (I know you’ve included the figure involved but I mean I’ve seen how much people struggle).

I know you want some proper recognition from your parents over and above your brother. They aren’t going to change though.