Family holiday, my parents gifted to me and are now saying my brother doesn’t have to pay

[FamilyHolidayTroubles]

My adult brother and I are going on a trip with my parents. It was said from the start that we had to pay for ourselves, and every month I’ve been putting aside a certain amount to make sure that I had my share covered, and all of my spending money for the trip.

I recently passed some very important professional exams, so my parents said they’d pay for my share of the trip - essentially gifting me my saved money back.

They’ve now said though that it would be unfair if my brother had to pay. Turns out he told my mum the other week that he’s not saved any money and wouldn’t be able to afford to go. AIBU to think this is a bit unfair? We’ve had over a year to save, and if he didn’t bother surely that’s his problem, not mine?

Well, she decided he was committing fraud several hours ago, so what's a bit of light murder between family, eh?

This is one of the most fascinating, ridiculous, Saturday MN threads in a very long time. Kids bored at the end of a long summer holiday.

Also floating about is the 26 yo OP who recently passed her law exams and then decided after all … she doesn’t even want to be a lawyer anymore.

She’s lost her feeling of superiority.

How much does your bank charge? Most banks will charge between 2-3. By my calculation they’d need to have charging you about 12.5% for you to have saved money by doing this. You got an exceptionally poor rate.

So OP in your other thread, you're moaning that your brother won't take you on holiday. Here you're moaning that he's coming on holiday. Are these the same free holiday, or are there two free holidays?

You're not going to redeem yourself with "clever" little digs. You just make yourself look even more like an insufferable brat.

Anyway, tell us about the murder. You owe it to us after all your nonsense...

I mean, yeah, that must sting a bit. But at least they are paying for you too!

OP's a busy little bee, ain't she.

I remember this!

Take it the trip to Italy is back on @FamilyHolidayTroubles ?

Did you harangue your dad about your brother not wanting to go to F1 with you so much, that he decided to actually go on the trip, despite his health problems?

You think it's bad now. Imagine if he goes to prison for the murder. OP will be so angry he's getting free bed and board and won't have to go to work while she has to work sooooo hard for everything. I'll look forward to that thread

Oh come on you raided your piggy bank and got it changed into euros!

Nah can’t be the same OP. THAT 25 year old spoilt brat Brother won’t even change a shift to take his Mum to the hospital where as THIS 25 year old spoilt brat Brother just sacks shifts off willy nilly without anyone raising an eyebrow

Monza is next week so definitely fits.

Who says you wouldn't be going? You have ENTIRELY made that up to victimize yourself.

You went without to save money, you have that money to spend on whatever you want (that how savings work). You have lost nothing and nothing has effected you.

You’d benefit from some financial education.

Fuck me, the expression ' Are your diamond shoes too tight?' usually makes me eyeroll. But now, after this thread, I totally get it.

It was your choice to do that work though - your parents didn't force you to do it and pay for it yourself. It was your choice. Now you've done it and achieved your goal, and they thought it would be nice to pay for your holiday. That's the crux of it. You could have decided not to put in all that effort, and have an easier life for these few years. The result would be a less comfortable life in the long run.

You also mentioned working two jobs in order to save the cash. You could have said, at that point, "I'm not going to do this, it's too much when I'm studying for these exams, so I am not going to go on the holiday." You can't blame your parents for choices you made.

OP you need to take a step back from this. You have some great qualifications, and genuine congratulations on your achievement, but you need to let go of this anger. Your parents obviously love both you and your brother very much, and are very much looking forward to having this holiday with you both. You are very young, and I assume do not have any children of your own. If you ever do, you will learn that “fairness” is a difficult concept, when children/ people generally are not “equal”. They have different personalities, abilities and needs. There are times when giving something of the same value, is not actually “equal”. Eg, if one child lived locally, one across the country and another on the other side of the world, is it “fair’ for a parent to pay for them all to travel to get “home”? Life isn’t always cut and dried. And as a parent, all we can do is “our best”. Sometimes we get it wrong. Sometimes, we just don’t explain it right. But of you love your parents, then you need to accept the holiday in the spirit in which it is meant, they simply want to spend time with their children before they leave the nest.
And in the gentlest possible way, you now need to start making plans to do just that. Make a life of your own and achieve the best you can. Learn to “bend” and not be so inflexible, your life will be easier and happier. I wish you luck.

Havimg read a bit of that other thread… the poor mum. Sounds like OP has been ruined by her father’s spoiling, with special Dad and daughter trips that she feels the rest of the family has had the temerity to muscle in on. Now it’s clear that the parents were always paying for this trip, it’s not clear what the OP is actually angry about. It seems that she just feels she’s better than her brother and her parents treating them equally makes her angry because she feels entitled to be treated better. Very odd. Now this thread is pretty much full hopefully she will go away and reflect a bit.

The thread is nearly full but it’s been an absolute pleasure everyone. A great way to pass the time at the hairdresser. Enjoy the F1 OP. Give my regards to Rome.

Yes, it's unfair. But one thing my dad taught me is that life is unfair so you might as well get used to it. Try to look at the benefits you gain from working hard, getting better qualifications etc. Concentrate on the skills and talents you have rather than comparing your circumstances with those of others.

Nest of vipers with bells on today 🙄

Awww, this thread has run out of road.

Have you missed bits?

This thread seems really fascinating.I want to contribute lots of comments. What have I missed?

Oh bugger... too late.