Family holiday, my parents gifted to me and are now saying my brother doesn’t have to pay

[FamilyHolidayTroubles]

My adult brother and I are going on a trip with my parents. It was said from the start that we had to pay for ourselves, and every month I’ve been putting aside a certain amount to make sure that I had my share covered, and all of my spending money for the trip.

I recently passed some very important professional exams, so my parents said they’d pay for my share of the trip - essentially gifting me my saved money back.

They’ve now said though that it would be unfair if my brother had to pay. Turns out he told my mum the other week that he’s not saved any money and wouldn’t be able to afford to go. AIBU to think this is a bit unfair? We’ve had over a year to save, and if he didn’t bother surely that’s his problem, not mine?

You went without things because you chose the holiday over those things. Your brother chose other things over saving. Presumably he didn't know he'd have the holiday paid for if he couldn't afford it. Its not reasonable to expect your mum not to have him on holiday with her just because his choice worked out better for him (in your eyes, you still have your savings, so its debatable) than you feel yours did. Next time think carefully about cost/benefit and only save for things if you'd rather go without other things to have them.

😂

No, it wouldn’t be like that. If I hadn’t saved, I’d not be going.

Your parents offered you a free holiday and to make it fair offered the same to your brother. You think this fairness is unfair...

Baffling.

Again this "if I hadnt"..... stop being annoyed at a hypothetical situation. YOUVE GOT A FREE HOLIDAY AND A POT FULL OF SAVINGS and are still finding something to moan about.... really!?

What’s unfair is the child who acts irresponsibly being rewarded? Not them being genuinely kind to one another

Yes you would because they have just offered to pay for you. That is what has actually happened.

Sure. But the fact of it is, I did something difficult and got a gift.

But you will benefit from doing these hard exams.

He’s wasted nearly 3 grand and gets the trip for free!

You are still getting it for free, the fact you did exams is irrelevant.

How old are you?

Because it isn’t fair. They offered me a gift because I did something hard. He’s been given a free holiday because he couldn’t be bothered to save. It’s not the same.

Well this holiday is going to be so much fun!! 😆

OP, you are getting a hard time (including from me!) but I genuinely believe that holding on to bitterness about stuff like this will only serve to cause your more unhappiness in life.

Life is unfair. Some people work harder than others and never have anything to show for it. Some people do fuck all and luck comes their way. Make peace with it, for your own sake.

So you get a free holiday and that is not enough for you? You can only now enjoy it if no one else gets one? This is something I can only imagine a child or teenager thinking

They offered to pay for a different reason. If I turned around three days before the trip and said I couldn’t pay, they’d say I’m not going.

How old is he?

What’s unfair is the child who acts irresponsibly being rewarded? Not them being genuinely kind to one another

But your parents are being kind to both of you!!!!

Why did you start this thread? You asked "AIBU?". The majority think you are. Now you're arguing with everyone.

But you’re not children you are adults….. Your parents have chosen to pay for BOTH of you, whether either of you deserve it is irrelevant. He is still their son, and it’s their money! You saved good for you, he didn’t bad for him. Stop being a brat

Yeah because my spoilt brat brother gets to crow about getting it for free while I worked hard to save and it was for no reason

Your attitude is causing you unhappiness. I sincerely hope you can find a way to focus on your own successes and good fortune because it sounds like you have a lot going for you that is being overshadowed by your scrutiny of “fairness” between you and your brother.

They offered to pay for a different reason. If I turned around three days before the trip and said I couldn’t pay, they’d say I’m not going.

But that's not true because you are getting it for free.

You’ve passed your exams. Hooray!
Your parents are gifting you a holiday. Hooray!

and hey here you are… seething over your brother.

OP, what’s your life generally like? Partner? Friends? Job? Happy??!

Oh Op, I imagine there is so much in your life that you’ve seethed about

Refuse to go, OP!

That'll learn 'em!

BECAUSE OF THE EXAMS!!! If I hadn’t passed I’d be handing over 3 grand!

YOU ALSO GOT IT FOR FREE