Family holiday, my parents gifted to me and are now saying my brother doesn’t have to pay

[FamilyHolidayTroubles]

My adult brother and I are going on a trip with my parents. It was said from the start that we had to pay for ourselves, and every month I’ve been putting aside a certain amount to make sure that I had my share covered, and all of my spending money for the trip.

I recently passed some very important professional exams, so my parents said they’d pay for my share of the trip - essentially gifting me my saved money back.

They’ve now said though that it would be unfair if my brother had to pay. Turns out he told my mum the other week that he’s not saved any money and wouldn’t be able to afford to go. AIBU to think this is a bit unfair? We’ve had over a year to save, and if he didn’t bother surely that’s his problem, not mine?

How is this in any way your problem? You’re still getting a free trip.

YABU.

Jesus Christ. I know what I’d be doing if I were your parent.

If your parents are paying for you both that’s fair, if they were only paying for him, yes that would be unfair, however it’s your parents money and they can do with it as they please.

You’re getting a free holiday! I also could not pay for one child to go on holiday and not the other one. Try and reframe it that you and your brother are getting a lovely holiday with your family and now you also have all those saving to enjoy. It really doesn’t matter what your brother has or hasn’t saved up.

It feels a bit disingenuous for them to say it’s a gift to me, when if the roles were reversed I’d just be told I’m not coming.

Your mum wants both her children to have a holiday with her and your dad. She's paying for you to go. Arrangements with your brother are nothing to do with you.

You're getting a free trip because your brother is crap at saving. Wooo hoooo!

I got a free car for a similae reason. My DB forgot to pay council tax so my parents bailed him out and then to make it fair gave me their ols car which was about the samw value (as I needed one for a new job).

It is a gift for you, you’re still getting a free holiday?

Unfair to pay for you and not your brother. Enjoy the holiday

For me the issue is I’ve gone without a lot over the last year to save for it, turned down plans with friends etc. he’s not bothered to save at all, and he’s being rewarded for that - but if it was me, I’d not be going.

Yabu. It's irrelevant. They're paying for you both. There's nothing else to think about.

Oh ffs.

“I want my giiiiiiiiift 😡 😤”

Presumably there will be a drip feed about how you don't like your brother, you feel your parents always bail him out, you've had to make your own way in the world etc. etc.

I’m getting a free tip because I worked my butt off for three years to pass incredibly hard exams, not because he couldn’t save

Don't be worrying about what wouldve happened if you didn't have the money saved. You are angry over ifs and buts and hypothetical situations. You are getting a free holiday and have savings. Win win for you! Say thanks and enjoy the trip.

Your parents want a trip with both their children and are doing what they need to do to have both of you there.

I don’t see how it’s unfair when you’re both receiving the same thing. The only difference is that you have been encouraged to have savings.

Oh well then tell them you are still going to pay your way amd enjoy your time being the dog in the manger.

Your getting a free trip because your parents are generous, end of.

And now you can take two holidays with the extra money you saved

Seriously, in what world can someone complain that they are getting a free holiday?! Your parents are being generous, be grateful!

Your posts indicate that you think he is the golden child then. If you feel that strongly about it OP, withdraw from the trip.

The issue to me is that we agreed (via text!), a year ago how much we’d be saving and when it was due to be paid (this weekend), I did that and he didn’t, yet he’s getting a free pass

Sums it up perfectly.

So is this a golden child situation? That would be useful context.

A similar example from me is that when it was my 40th birthday my parents said they wanted to take me out to a nice restaurant as a birthday present.
They then said they had to take my brother out to a nice restaurant to make it "fair".
It sort of turned the gift into not a gift, just a thing they were doing for all their children but I shrugged it off.

But when my brother was 40, they took him out to a nice restaurant, and there was no indication they needed to take me out too.

Clearly an indication that brother is the favoured child, which you can't necessarily see from a single incident.

I kind of get how you feel OP and it sounds like your brotheer getting preferential treatment isn't unusual BUT him going for free in no way affects you in a practical sense
Its ok to feel a bit of resentment but at the end of the day you now have money saved you can use for something else you want
What would you like to happen? Him not come?