Can’t stop this affair

[HallieConstancex]

I have been seeing a man for over a year and a half. He has a family (partner & 2 children). I’m not here for sympathy, I know I need to let go.

his reasons for not leaving are his oldest daughter has a severe disability so his partner has given up work and he provides everything for them, so can’t just leave.

he knows me better than anyone, yet I know I deserve to be taken out, showed off etc, instead of someone’s secret.

I can’t do no contact, I have to see him every month at work. It’s not a situation where either of us can leave but I won’t get into it as it’s outing. How am I ever supposed to move on when he has to be in my life for atleast another year?

Yes you can stop
find a new job
block him etc
his poor wife and kids

you will get flamed. You know it has to stop. So stop. The rest is just fluff.

Under what circumstances do you have to see him at work every month?

Of course you can stop it. You just don’t want to because you think this makes you special. You aren’t. You think he loves you. He doesn’t.

End it and find your self respect.

Leave your job and get a new one.

You are pretty awful. He is worse. But you are not a good person. But you also lack self respect. If you deserve more, then end this and have a relationship with someone who is not cheating on their wife and the mother of their severely disabled child.

Of course you can just end it. And you should. He doesn't love you. You're just more exciting that his wife who is probably overwhelmed with caring responsibilities. He's a twat.

You don't have to be shagging a married man with 2 kids, just because you see him once a month or whatever in work.
Grow up and get some self respect!

His poor wife, you are both behaving disgustingly 😡

Find a new job, simple.
Oh and have some self respect.

Just because you see him at work doesn't mean the affair has to continue. The best way to get over someone I found is to do online dating. You won't necessarily meet someone straightaway and that wouldn't ideal anyway but it does mean there are other men to take your mind off this one. Move on with your life as this makes it much more likely you will meet someone for whom you are number 1 and you can have a normal relationship with

My sister also couldn't stop seeing her affair partner.

She couldn't stop seeing him when her husband found out and threatened her with divorce.

Her husband did divorce her. Now she still can't stop seeing her affair partner now that he won't leave his girlfriend.

So she lost her relationship for him.And he's kept his relationship. I won't tell you how many years it's been.Because it's embarrassing.

Just give it up, block and delete him everywhere. Go and find someone who's single and when you see him, only once a month interact on a purely professional level. You can do all of that, you just don't want to.

Yeah, you can. You just don't want to enough.

This.

And also, he can leave his wife even with a disabled child, he just doesn't want to.

He doesn't want to leave his wife because he ll end up screwed financially. He'll have to pay a shed load of maintenance.And probably give his ex wife most of the house because of their child needs.

He could leave her if he wanted to, but he doesn't want to either.

But IS he awful? How can he just leave the mother of his disabled child? Knowing his child might not even outlive their parents. I can’t even imagine what that would feel like, for either of them. I know he will never leave her, for this reason. Yet he probably would leave if his circumstances are different.

I’m honestly open to you telling me I’m being a twat and that above opinion is wrong and I’ve got rose tinted glasses on.

Out of interest, if he didn't want to leave her, but he still wanted to have his cake and eat it, what would he tell you to keep you on the hook?

Is this real or just a goady wind up thread?
The casual dropping in of the severely disabled child just seems like rage bait.

Can you stop speaking to him and ask that he stays away from the workplace when you are forced to see eachother. Let him know if he doesn’t you’ll have to let the workplace know why you don’t want to work with him.

Fwiw, a friend of a friend has been in your situation for TWENTY years. She is having am extremely lonely retirement.

There was always, and still always, is a reason he can't leave.

Something to mull over.

You know, you might both be in love. So what? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t override everything else. It might feel all-consuming and irresistible but it doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it. You have a choice. You can choose not to shag him. Do that.

Using a Scottish term .. you're a different and willing open fud
Nothing more nothing less.

You're his bit on the side. He's never leaving his family and he's never going to 'show you off'.

Quite why you've started this thread, I have no idea.

So is your actual ideal outcome to wait until his child dies and its been a respectable amount of time to dump his wife?

Of course he is. Look at what he’s doing behind their backs; do you know how damaging affairs are on children if they find out.

Sorry but 🤣🤣🤣

Besides, we'd probably get deleted if we called you a twat...