Can’t stop this affair

[HallieConstancex]

I have been seeing a man for over a year and a half. He has a family (partner & 2 children). I’m not here for sympathy, I know I need to let go.

his reasons for not leaving are his oldest daughter has a severe disability so his partner has given up work and he provides everything for them, so can’t just leave.

he knows me better than anyone, yet I know I deserve to be taken out, showed off etc, instead of someone’s secret.

I can’t do no contact, I have to see him every month at work. It’s not a situation where either of us can leave but I won’t get into it as it’s outing. How am I ever supposed to move on when he has to be in my life for atleast another year?

But you’re coming across really crass and vulgar. Worse than the op imo.

What a awful person you are . You sound very selfish centred selfish silly woman.
He is even worse.
Shame on you both .

What help do you think the OP needs?

That is how you are actually planning to live your life? You meet someone else and what? Just lie to them? Pretend to be faithful but meet up this man that you “can’t resist”? Why wouldn’t you just be truthful? If you want an open relationship with the option to do whatever with this other man, then you wouldn’t struggle to find a man who is happy with that arrangement, as long as he is allowed to do the same. Or do you expect your partner to be faithful to you, but you are allowed to lie to him?

💯

You can stop the affair and still see him. Just tell him it's over and you can't do it any more. It may feel a bit odd seeing him in a work environment but just ignore what has gone before. It's really more his problem than yours.

Swear words are just as bad as sleeping with a married man?

Yes, I’m not shagging a man with a disabled child, I said a few naughty words …. Sooo much worse.
grow up

He’s playing you, stop being an utter fool.

I don't get this either? The sheer physical ick would be off the scale surely?

Seriously my ex OH cheated on me. I know the Poor Me story he sold to women because I literally read it (the galaxy brain only had one password that he used for everything). It was bollocks. Just run far far away, for your own sake as well as everyone else's.

I get the message, I have blocked him.

Hmm, looks like a certain poster is ignoring my perfectly valid polite questions.

Because using swear words is worse than fucking a married man - right ho

The swearing is uncalled for. Adults should be able to conduct themselves without using vulgarities.

Peak rage baiting OP.

Well played.

Seems like that poster is more interested in being the vulgarity police than answering polite questions….

How about answering my polite questions?

And with a quick conclusion, all at the behest of mumsnet.

And you’re telling me to grown up? But why can’t you articulate yourself in a less common manner? You’re on your way to getting banned.

I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon and take the moral high ground here. Life is complicated and messy, and sometime folks snatch moments of happiness where they can. However, it is clear this is not going to end well for you. This isn't a situation that is going to make you you feel happy, fulfilled and loved, as I'm sure you deserve, so maybe time to bite the bullet and end this.

Yes, I should have added that. I in no way think he's absolved and think he's just as bad (actually worse) than the OP.

He definitely deserves a boot up the arse when his wife kicks him to the curb.

You are asking here for strength and support. That is a really good first step!

You have been clear with what you want (even though I’m sure you still feel a lot of emotions).

You need to share this with him and ask him to cease contact.

I would also suggest talking to someone. I don’t know if your friends are aware of the situation, but perhaps choose someone that you trust and share your decision to end this with them. This is the accountability. You are telling others.

It is going to be hard. You are ending a relationship where you still have feelings for the other person.

At the same time, you have a relationship with yourself and you want your actions to align with your values.

It is going to be one of those day at a time processes, but you can do this.

Agreed. Another one in the long line of things that never happened.

And just like that she’s found her dignity because of a few randoms online - what a genuine Epiphany she’s had

Says the poster with the ban hammer?

You can stop right now, this minute if you want to. The situation is hugely detrimental to your wellbeing and happiness, let alone anything else. Your self respect will sky rocket once you end this.