To tell my husband to stop saying this?

[cittykat]

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

@cittykat Men who are obsessed with calling things "for girls" or "for children" tend to be men who are insecure and who have no character. Their whole personality revolves trying to look grown up and masculine, which ironically, is not a grown up or masculine trait at all.

I bet your husband has no issue with men who drive SUVs just to impress other people, or men who think that "cars" is a hobby, or scumbags who drive noisy vehicles.

Can't see a problem although I'd probably buy him some more modest shorts as I think its unnecessary to see bum cheeks

Not acceptable to call them girls

He is allowed to say to you personally that he thinks the shorts are too short. Just buy him plain black pair shorts to go with them

Clothes aren't gendered. Either sex can wear what they please.

Sounds like your bully husband has very a fragile sense of his own masculinity if he thinks the length of a pair of shorts can affect it.

It's also creepy as fuck that he thinks boy's bums should be covered up but it's fine for little girl's arses to be on show.

I'd really really want him to explain his logic behind that. It sounds like he has deeply misogynistic ideas about women's bodies.

Voted for the wrong thing because, for some reason, you put the YANBU reason before the YABU reason, but anyway, YANBU.

Good grief, they are for a nine year old in their own home!

You're DH is a dick and a bully but apart from that, maybe get some long pyjama bottoms if your son intends to do a sleepover or have friends over. Nobody really wants to see his arse hanging out. Surely he can have a "cat" top and plain bottoms if needs be?

It's also creepy as fuck that he thinks boy's bums should be covered up but it's fine for little girl's arses to be on show.

This is not what OP said. Why are so many posters making things up to suit thei r own narrative ?

Boys and girls bodies are pretty similar until puberty? Why would it matter for a 9 year old?

The problem is clothing designers making short, shorts for girls.

Children these days are also more accepting of their peers. I doubt his friends would even think twice about his pyjamas being inappropriate.

They're PJs, worn around the home,why does he give a shit? Your DH has the problem not your kid.

Wear boxers or similar underneath or get some other pj bottoms to wear with the top.

The real issue is "girls* shorts being to short for practically.

Buy the boy some bigger pyjamas, maybe knee length shorts, and sew cat motifs on them?

Son’s dad is not being helpful and may give son a complex. Does this attitude go further than just the pyjamas? If your son chooses a “girly” game or a “soft” creative endeavour (art, music, languages) is that also an issue? I’d be interested to know if it goes deeper than the choice of nightwear.

If it is just about the PJs then if your son likes the pyjamas it is irrelevant whether the marketing is for girls or boys. It isn’t like he is walking around at school or at sleepovers in just a cat thong! That would not be ok for either a boy or a girl.

Don’t know what kids you know😂

at 9 boys and girls are very different to each
other and even in there own gender group . Some girls and boys look there age / younger

whilst some girls are wearing bras and look about 13 and some boys are very tall and look like 13 also.

i work in a school 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

Boys shorts sometimes have a slightly deeper gusset than girls (for obvious reasons.... they've got more bulky external genitalia to be accommodated.

The only reason i can think of that these would be problematic is if they didn't fit in that area, so were bulging or something hanging out etc but it doesn't sound like its the case

Op i don't think its an issue but fyi, m&s has boys pjs with a funny surfing cat on (they are advertised on this thread!).

My son tends to wear random t shirts and tracksuit bottom shorts or checked pyjama bottoms to bed. Keep the t shirt and buy some more wintery bottoms now it’s getting colder.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

i agree you are👍

You work in a SCHOOL? Why didn’t you say? You must be an expert. Have another dozen thumbs ups from me. And maybe an eye roll or two.

I hope you’re not a teacher in said school. Sentences generally begin with a capital letter and end with a full stop. And it’s ‘their’ in that context, not ‘there’. Oh dear, 2 out of 10 for effort. Must try harder.

Voted YABU by accident but you're definitely not!

If she was a teacher she would definitely have told you.

If the poster was a teacher or TA I'm sure they'd have said that instead of 'working in a school' which could be any number of other roles, thankfully 😂

Fair point!

Correct. So you've actually just put paid to your own argument 👏

Some kids are bigger than others regardless of sex, therefore no matter if PJs are labelled girls or boys, it depends on the size of the actual child whether they fit, not whether they have a set of balls between their legs.

You make no sense at all 😂