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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell my husband to stop saying this?

512 replies

cittykat · 29/08/2025 07:48

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Emmafuller79 · 30/08/2025 00:24

UnintentionalArcher · 29/08/2025 12:54

Key points for your husband to understand:

  • He thinks short shorts are ok on little girls but not little boys. That is very, very concerning and he needs to think carefully about whether or not he really means this and let you know if it’s his true opinion or if he’s been caught up in damaging stereotypes and really hasn’t thought it through (you may need to take action if he does really believe that).
  • As others have said, gendered clothing (especially at that age when body differences are minimal) can be problematic anyway - while we’re not going to get away from centuries of social norms around this overnight, times are changing. I would suggest to you husband that he might want to reflect on his potentially outdated views of how males and females should dress because there’s no logic to what he says (unless of course he admits to you that he believes women and girls are lesser and exist to be objectified and should therefore have more skin on show - see my first point).
  • Regarding concerns about bullying, while bullies will find any and every reason to bully if they want to, I would suggest that the concerns your husband is expressing about what said bullies might hone in on are quite outdated. In my experience as a teacher, one area where most children and young people are now very very accepting and open-minded is around gender and its signifiers, such as clothing. He’s probably basing his judgement on what would’ve happened when he was at school and more retrograde ideas about male and female dressing were around. (Though of course not many other children will see your child in his pyjamas so there’s that hole in his logic that’s also worth pointing out).

Ultimately, the manufacturer labels these as girls’ pyjamas because there’s a whole industry based around categorising clothes based on gender, built upon stereotypes. Your husband needs to try to learn to see beyond that and reflect on his own possibly outdated views.

Show quote history

You’re over analysing this & make it up
as you go along
At the end of the day no male looks good in any
clothing design for women. They just don’t. any fashion designer worth there salt will tell you why .. 🙄

ReadingSoManyThreads · 30/08/2025 00:32

Your husband is a bully. Can't your son just wear some underpants to conceal the bum cheeks?! I'm glad your son has stood up for himself against his cruel father. He'll be grateful you have his back on this one.

Emmafuller79 · 30/08/2025 00:42

ReadingSoManyThreads · 30/08/2025 00:32

Your husband is a bully. Can't your son just wear some underpants to conceal the bum cheeks?! I'm glad your son has stood up for himself against his cruel father. He'll be grateful you have his back on this one.

How’s it bullying to tell him some home truths though? Why set him up to fail? He’s a boy not a girl. Girls clothing does not suit boys.

I work in a school and it’s always white pupils who do this sort of thing. it’s attention seeking . You have no idea how much work is created for staff - paperwork, meetings, safe spaces etc. meanwhile the Asian kids get on with it and no wander there high achievers . I say this as a white lady.

Emmafuller79 · 30/08/2025 00:43

Tedsnan1 · 29/08/2025 21:14

🙄

Show quote history

What that emoji?

Gimpee · 30/08/2025 00:57

It's been so hot this summer kids need less nightwear. Shorts length are dependent on decade 1960's women hotpots and 1970's football shorts very short

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 30/08/2025 01:31

Emmafuller79 · 30/08/2025 00:42

How’s it bullying to tell him some home truths though? Why set him up to fail? He’s a boy not a girl. Girls clothing does not suit boys.

I work in a school and it’s always white pupils who do this sort of thing. it’s attention seeking . You have no idea how much work is created for staff - paperwork, meetings, safe spaces etc. meanwhile the Asian kids get on with it and no wander there high achievers . I say this as a white lady.

Show quote history

This is such bollocks. He's 8 years old and wearing some pyjamas in his own house. The only thing that says they are for girls is the description. Shorts and a t-shirt aren't gendered, unless one makes them so.

And if you work in a school, you need to improve your spelling.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 30/08/2025 01:34

Emmafuller79 · 30/08/2025 00:08

Not as simple as that. 🤔The female body/figure is such that it can carry of types of clothing and colours if clothing very well. So females get away with wearing skirts or trousers Fashion designers who are often gay men know this and so love to design clothes for women.

The male body is as such that it doesn’t look good in dresses , hot pants but looks better in a shirt & trousers that are blue/black /grey .

the best looking man in the world would look pathetic in a dress yet an average looking lady would still look good in a 3 piece suit

Show quote history

Have you never seen a man in a kilt?

You are talking utter crap.

MMDW · 30/08/2025 01:50

Per the link, the pajamas are indeed girls PJs.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 30/08/2025 01:52

MMDW · 30/08/2025 01:50

Per the link, the pajamas are indeed girls PJs.

They're being marketed as girls' but that doesn't mean boys can't wear them. They're just shorts and a t-shirt. It's the same as a girl wearing, say, Thomas the Tank Engine PJs. The only thing that makes them gendered is the way they're marketed.

Bluebay · 30/08/2025 01:55

Buy your DH some too 😁(These are Temu and marketed for men)

To tell my husband to stop saying this?
Gimpee · 30/08/2025 01:59

Emma why did you say white children racist

Corfumanchu · 30/08/2025 02:09

He's right that if other kids see him wearing pjs in a 'girls cut' he may be teased. But is that likely? If he has a sleepover just wear a different pair.

Corfumanchu · 30/08/2025 02:16

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 30/08/2025 01:31

This is such bollocks. He's 8 years old and wearing some pyjamas in his own house. The only thing that says they are for girls is the description. Shorts and a t-shirt aren't gendered, unless one makes them so.

And if you work in a school, you need to improve your spelling.

Show quote history

No. There's somethingin what she says. If you don't educate your son in what society considers gender norms, yes you have met your own woke agenda, but you ate sending your child like a lamb to thr slaughter.
Oh and belt up with the tedious spelling smuggery.You are aware that everyone is auto 'corrected' to fuck!

Charltonstrek · 30/08/2025 02:22

I don't think they are particulay girlie and if he's just wearing them in front of family I don't see a issue it's just pyjamas.

Nanof8 · 30/08/2025 04:22

Nice jammies. The shorts look similar to alot of my son's cotton boxers.
Can you sew a matching or contrasting band onto the shorts? Or even make him a pair with cat print fabric.
My now 15 year-old son used to buy some of his clothes from the girls department as he didn't like the boring colours of the boys clothes. It didn't even bother him if he happened to have a matching outfit to a girl at school.

Katherine9 · 30/08/2025 06:39

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 30/08/2025 01:34

Have you never seen a man in a kilt?

You are talking utter crap.

Show quote history

Kilts are tailored for men.

Emmafuller79 · 30/08/2025 07:06

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 30/08/2025 01:34

Have you never seen a man in a kilt?

You are talking utter crap.

Show quote history

bet You also come along to say but queen Victoria and albert was cousins whenever people say cousin marriage is wrong. 🙄

not heard off exception to the rule? 🤦‍♀️

CellophaneFlower · 30/08/2025 07:52

Emmafuller79 · 30/08/2025 00:42

How’s it bullying to tell him some home truths though? Why set him up to fail? He’s a boy not a girl. Girls clothing does not suit boys.

I work in a school and it’s always white pupils who do this sort of thing. it’s attention seeking . You have no idea how much work is created for staff - paperwork, meetings, safe spaces etc. meanwhile the Asian kids get on with it and no wander there high achievers . I say this as a white lady.

Show quote history

Well I was already thinking you were an idiot for saying 9yo girls and boys generally have totally different body shapes... then you go and throw colour into the mix 🙄🤣

CellophaneFlower · 30/08/2025 07:54

Emmafuller79 · 30/08/2025 07:06

bet You also come along to say but queen Victoria and albert was cousins whenever people say cousin marriage is wrong. 🙄

not heard off exception to the rule? 🤦‍♀️

Show quote history

Wow... do you really work in a school? 🤦‍♀️

Busbygirl · 30/08/2025 08:10

UnintentionalArcher · 29/08/2025 12:54

Key points for your husband to understand:

  • He thinks short shorts are ok on little girls but not little boys. That is very, very concerning and he needs to think carefully about whether or not he really means this and let you know if it’s his true opinion or if he’s been caught up in damaging stereotypes and really hasn’t thought it through (you may need to take action if he does really believe that).
  • As others have said, gendered clothing (especially at that age when body differences are minimal) can be problematic anyway - while we’re not going to get away from centuries of social norms around this overnight, times are changing. I would suggest to you husband that he might want to reflect on his potentially outdated views of how males and females should dress because there’s no logic to what he says (unless of course he admits to you that he believes women and girls are lesser and exist to be objectified and should therefore have more skin on show - see my first point).
  • Regarding concerns about bullying, while bullies will find any and every reason to bully if they want to, I would suggest that the concerns your husband is expressing about what said bullies might hone in on are quite outdated. In my experience as a teacher, one area where most children and young people are now very very accepting and open-minded is around gender and its signifiers, such as clothing. He’s probably basing his judgement on what would’ve happened when he was at school and more retrograde ideas about male and female dressing were around. (Though of course not many other children will see your child in his pyjamas so there’s that hole in his logic that’s also worth pointing out).

Ultimately, the manufacturer labels these as girls’ pyjamas because there’s a whole industry based around categorising clothes based on gender, built upon stereotypes. Your husband needs to try to learn to see beyond that and reflect on his own possibly outdated views.

Show quote history

Good Lord. What a load of pretentious rubbish.
I don’t know where to start but I’m sure he wouldn’t want to see a son’s arse either! Nothing to do with females being lesser human beings.
What you’ve written in an unnecessarily long winded way is laughable.

sandwichlover93 · 30/08/2025 08:19

My DSS, older than your DS, likes to wear oversized t shirts so he feels like he’s in a nightie 😂 we just let him get on with it because it’s all gender bullshit created by society.

sashh · 30/08/2025 08:24

What's so bad about 'girls' pyjamas'?

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 30/08/2025 08:28

Corfumanchu · 30/08/2025 02:16

No. There's somethingin what she says. If you don't educate your son in what society considers gender norms, yes you have met your own woke agenda, but you ate sending your child like a lamb to thr slaughter.
Oh and belt up with the tedious spelling smuggery.You are aware that everyone is auto 'corrected' to fuck!

Show quote history

She’s not sending her child anywhere. He’s in his own home, with his own family. It’s only his father being a dick that’s the problem here and that has fuck all to do with wokeness.

And no, I won’t belt up about spelling. The previous poster appears to be either playing a role, illiterate or drunk. None of those are linked to autocorrect.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 30/08/2025 08:31

Emmafuller79 · 30/08/2025 07:06

bet You also come along to say but queen Victoria and albert was cousins whenever people say cousin marriage is wrong. 🙄

not heard off exception to the rule? 🤦‍♀️

Show quote history

You’re hilarious.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 30/08/2025 08:35

Katherine9 · 30/08/2025 06:39

Kilts are tailored for men.

Show quote history

The previous poster thinks that men should only wear blue or grey trousers and shirts. Her gender conformity rules would therefore deem kilts unmanly. My point isn’t about tailoring; it’s about narrow mindedness.