To tell my husband to stop saying this?

[cittykat]

my 9 year old son is a massive cat lover. He has cat slippers, tshirts, pens etc etc. I got him some cat pyjamas. These ones. https://amzn.to/45XnCwa

my husband (son’s dad) keeps telling him that he has to stop wearing them as they are girls’ pyjamas.

my son has said to him “please can you stop calling them girls’ pyjamas” and my husband says that he will be bullied if his friends see him wearing them. I have pointed out that the only one bullying him is his own father.

my husband says that telling him that they’re girls’ and not appropriate is not bullying it’s “parenting”

my husband thinks the shorts on the pyjamas are too short. Like little hot pants. Sometimes when son is lounging on the sofa they ride up and some bum cheek is visible. This angers husband and starts him off on his “girls’ pyjamas” conversation again.

son likes the pyjamas. I said I would ask on here what people thought. Please vote.

YANBU - your husband should stop calling them “girls’ pyjamas” to your son and back off

YABU - your son shouldn’t wear the pyjamas and your husband is right to protect him from future bullying if son’s friends saw the pyjamas on a sleepover.

Your husband is being unreasonable. Who cares what print the PJs have on them.

Only thing I found when my son wore ‘girls’ tops were the t shirts are cut with a waist shape and didn’t ever quite fit right. But he’s a big kid so baggy t shirts were always better.

@cittykat just wondering, what if it was another way around? OP has a daughter who loves pyjamas with fighter planes emblazoned all over them. Does the Dad feel differently? What does he tell his daughter? Maybe he's pleased she's into 'male' subjects. She can be the next Lioness or Red Rose - great on the pitch. What threat are other girls to his daughter? I can't help feeling that it wouldn't matter nearly as much, and boys are being held to ridiculous outdated standards. Girl tomboys are readily accepted. You'd probably be really happy if your daughter was into STEM subjects or wanted to be an astronaut. Wouldn't you?

This ^

He thought those pjs might get him bullied… so he started bullying him to save the kids at school a job

I accidentally hit yabu, should be you are not! He can wear whatever he likes and feels comfortable with, in his own house.

I don't care if it says 'girls pyjamas' - that's just marketing. It doesn't mean ONLY GIRLS CAN WEAR THESE PYJAMAS. I've bought my daughter plenty from the 'boys' section and nothing on them says only boys can wear those either. They're not in her drawer as 'boys t shirts', they're in her drawer as HER t-shirts.

I honestly hate this shit and feel sorry for your wee boy. His dad is a toxic, bullying prick.

Not quite sure why you think your 9yo has the definitive answer here!

i wear what I want to wear from the men’s or women’s or occasionally girls sections. But I get to choose and so should your son @cittykat I might argue it should be less of an issue as presumably you our son doesn’t even leave the house in them so seriously it should be a non issue. At the same time he wears them in the place he should be able to feel safest and your DH is doing his best to ridicule him.

I have a great anecdote from one of my kids nursery. The 3 year old boy was going through a princess dress phase and turned up to nursery as Elsa. The teacher made a silly comment at drop off along the lines of ‘you’re a boy you won’t be able to wear dresses when you go the school’. My friend was so furious he went to pick up his son that evening in his wife’s bodycon minidress. you should have seen the nursery teachers face. That’s how a good dad acts.

That's a good one. Mine is my ten year old son had a Christmas list. One item was advertised as for girls. I said it was nice but did he think some of his friends might think it's for girls (I didn't want to buy it and then have it discarded as someone said something). He looked at it thought and said it the one he wanted and not to worry as if someone said anything they'd only say it once. He sounded like he was training to be the Godfather.

They are hideous pajamas and his arse is hanging out of the back so they dont even fit.

You could do better than that.

Here

These are much nicer with longer shorts.

His arse isn't hanging out, that isn't what the OP said. Sometimes when he's lounging on the sofa they ride up, that isn't the same thing at all.

Oh well it says boys so that's ok. Shame they are nearly three times the price.

I mean they ARE girls pyjamas and they ARE hot pants. It just depends on if your son cares about that. I’d maybe look for some boy style cat Pjs - or just get new shorts to be paired with the top - and just tell him his dad is old fashioned and it doing your head in listening to him.

Girls shorts can be shorter because they don’t have anything that will fall out of the legs when they move around!

I'm actually quite amazed at the number of posters who don't seem to understand gendered marketing or why Amazon says they are "girls' pyjamas".

The cut will absolutely not be different in any positive way to accommodate boy/girl body shapes, the only question is why the "girl" marketed clothes are more likely to be skimpy? (Hmmm I wonder why that is deemed to be ok?!!). But these don't look like hot pants anyway so slightly shorter shorts on a 9 year old are fine!

Should son be allowed to continue wearing them: yes. Should DH stop bullying son over it now son has asked husband to stop mentioning it: also yes.

I have an older girl and younger boy and most clothes get passed down from one to the other for practical reasons. If son didn't want to wear something handed down, it was worn out, or he had a particular interest in a certain style or print/ needed new, that would be fine too. I'm not militant about it, just aim to reduce waste as much as poss. Mind you we've always tried to get fairly gender neutral comfortable clothes so this is possible.

It's absolutely fine, and lovely that he loves these pyjamas so much.

I hadn't even noticed that. I thought they were also marketed at girls because theyre so pink.

At least they'll be comfortable rather than penis and balls in a pair of hot pants.

Lol or your son is wrong

Your husband is a prick!

Leaving aside your dh being an arse, there are some unisex cat pyjamas around-like these https://share.google/0IKva28GKnMBncPIj
They seem to have loads of variations on white tee with black cat print. (Know nothing about the company). Longer leg for winter.

Why is it the argument that if a bum cheek is hanging out they must be for girls ? That’s not what her DH said. In actual fact what was said was that the shorts were riding up so that cheek was on show. And I think her DH meant that on a girl that wouldn’t happen because they were designed for girls, not boys. The jump to implying that there is some sexual meaning to this is utterly absurd.

Of course the shorts would ride up on a girl just as much as they would on a boy... their body shapes really aren't that different at that age.

I agree that he probably didn't mean it in a sexual way though, just that girl's shorts are generally shorter than boys. Obviously this shouldn't be the case at all though and his dad had no business pointing this out at all.

Oh my god.

As he's still being a prick about this...
Say that you need a talk
sit him down
~serious face~
~head tilt~
Say "I'm getting concerned that you're feeling increasingly insecure in your own masculinity. Do you need to talk about it? Do we need to find you some help to talk through it?
If he tries to laugh it off, say "Your behaviour towards our son is completely unacceptable. It stops today. But if you can't change your behaviour, then we do need help from a professional."

Well your H is being a dick.
meanwhile what about these?
www.amazon.co.uk/Anantty-Pyjamas-Kitten-Nightwear-Teenagers/dp/B0CCCWQ4NS

or, https://www.laredoute.co.uk/ppdp/prod-350536804.aspx#searchkeyword=boys%20pyjamas,%20cat&shoppingtool=search

https://catsprotectionteemill.com/collection/kids/