To ask, politely, and seriously, if you are in your 50s, what do you look like naked?

[Dontfuckingsaycheese]

Hi.
I’ll cut to the chase. I’m 55 and single (happily for the last 15 years or so).
This year, following a rather exciting reboot, I decided to try online dating and I have been having a lot of fun. Met a few nice men. No nasty ones 🙂 I have also fallen in love with my body again and have lost over 3 stone so now just over 9.5 stone.
I am amazed at how good this 55 year-old body looks, FROM SOME ANGLES AND IN SOME POSITIONS. I’ve been making a few videos and stills and I can look damn 🔥
However, I am alarmed how I look, mainly from the front, if I lean forward. Everything prunes, falls and elongates, and it’s scary!! I have met a man online who I am absolutely obsessed by. For a few reasons, it’s been a few months and we haven’t met yet. We’re due to meet up next month. He’s seen some pics and videos of me and loved them, but of course, I’ve been able to carefully curate them. I don’t want him to be disappointed in how bits of me look. I feel like I should warn him in some way. I know it shouldn’t matter, and he should like me as a person, but things have been tres flirty and I’m very keen to make it physical 😉 I feel like just explaining I’m aware there’s parts of me that are a bit time-ravaged. He’s a little older than me, so wondering if it’s the same for him… So he’ll understand I mean, and not run for the hills. I’m thinking of explaining this in terms of wanting to feel confident in bed, so it may be that, at times maybe I may wish to wear a top or something…
I’m wondering how others feel, any pearls of wisdom, advice, reassurance, amusing anecdotes to make me feel better… 🤔

There's an episode of The Golden Girls where Blanche catches sight of her face when she leans over a mirror flat on the table and vows never to go on top again.

BTW Well done on the weight loss and you sound like you're rocking it. If he thinks you're going to be like twenty something gym bunny, he's just not worthy of your time and effort.

How have you got to the age of 55 and yet are still so absolutely obsessed by the male gaze?

Christ the last thing I'm worrying about is how hot I look for the opposite sex. Most of them just want something with a pulse. Which generally mature women have worked out.

Maybe take some time off to work out why you only value yourself as a perky pair of tits?

I think any man likes to see a naked woman and would be pleased whatever the view 🤷‍♀️🤣. At 9.5 stone you must be pretty trim (albeit self critical of a few signs of ageing). I’d be pretty confident he’s no honed Adonis…

I see my Caesarean scars, scar overhang, stretch marks and cellulite dimples as the history of my body and what it’s done for me. I’ve started dating again and no complaints!

well done on the weight loss 👏

"things have been tres flirty" 🙄

I agree with you @BeaSure

I look ok for my age, not brilliant as I should do more weights. Since losing 3 stone I’m much more confident, and confidence in your body is contagious in a good way.

Having said that… lingerie. It’s more for you than him tbh, most men don’t care.

I'm pretty pleased with my body. I'm 52 & exercise a lot!

I'm a bit concerned about you being "absolutely obsessed" with this guy. That's not healthy.

Oh believe me. I am real. Tres real 😉 Check out my history. Actually been on here for approx 20 years. Thanks for all the answers.
Yes. I know I shouldn’t care and shouldn’t care a jot about the male gaze. I have always been fascinated about my body and how it works and changes over time and its experiences. I am actually amazed at how lovely it can look.
I am currently experiencing a huge HUGE sex-drive surge (prob down to me getting myself some HRT) I may be a 55 year-old professional and independent woman, but in some ways incredibly unsophisticated and insecure. I really like this guy.

Why so mean @Petrolitis. If she has lost weight, has a new found confidence because of it, but has been out of the dating game for 15 years she is allowed to have whatever question or concern she wants.

I’m 57 and the shock never lessens every time I see myself naked.. it’s horrible. But here’s the thing.. dh thinks I’m the sexiest thing alive. I’ve told him he needs new glasses. If they’re really into you, they don’t see reality.

I know, right. It wasn’t healthy when I was 15 either, but having beat myself up for most of my adult life for this, I’ve come to terms with how I think and feel, and am happy to go for what I want. As long as I’m not hurting others (rarely), I’ve made my peace with this side of me.

That’s really nice 🤗 and reassuring. Thanks for sharing x

A) lower your expectations of this guy. One glance at the OLD threads and you’ll see that eligible attractive men on dating sites are very much the exception. You can’t judge chemistry online - he will also have been ‘curating’ himself.

B) for the love of god stop sending him photos and videos. You don’t know what he’s doing with them. Best case scenario he has them in his own personal wank bank, and will keep them even if you don’t meet or don’t hit it off in person. Worst case scenario, well you end up on p0rnhub.

C) you’re happy with your body. Don’t let his opinion of it colour that. Don’t preempt or warn him of your insecurities. It’s not only unattractive, it will give him ammunition to use against you should he wish to.

In the nicest way, you need to dial it back or you’re going to end up being taking advantage of. Set a date for coffee, treat it as a pre-date. Check that he is who he says he is, he isn’t flaky, 10 years older, has bad breath, no teeth etc. can string a sentence together in person, pays his way and offers to pay yours too, even if you feel more comfortable declining that offer (you should). Just take it one day at a time. There’s every chance he’ll sleep with you and then ghost you. Lots do. If he turns out to be decent and genuine I’ll eat my hat. But good luck to you.

If they’re really into you, they don’t see reality.

I've found this. And same the other way around. We enjoy each other.

I’m 61 and despite breastfeeding 2DC to 9-12 months old my boobs are not sagging at all
Carrying more weight than I’d like and in the process of losing it slowly but have no body hang ups
I will be rocking a few bikinis when I go away in next few weeks

Ten pounds of shit in an eight pound bag

For the love of god stop sending him photos and videos. You don’t know what he’s doing with them. Best case scenario he has them in his own personal wank bank, and will keep them even if you don’t meet or don’t hit it off in person. Worst case scenario, well you end up on p0rnhub.

Absolutely this. Really important.

This. Please just be careful. You say you “really like this guy” but you haven’t even MET him. He could be a cat fish, a teenager or anything in between. He could be your ex.

seriously you need to wise up to the modern world and look after yourself better.

I may be a 55 year-old professional and independent woman, but in some ways incredibly unsophisticated and insecure.

And incredibly naïve to send wank videos to a man you've never even met.

If you had a grandaughter would you advise her that this was sensible or foolish?

We have video called. He’s no teenager 🙂 Think my videos would be much too tame for Pornhub 🤔

Do you think he's this worried about what you'll think of his body and whether he should say something to prepare you OP? I'm going to go with 'not a chance'.

She actually said obsessed

Awful. I’ve recently lost 2 stone (WLI) so feel a bit better, but still look shit. But with a nice slip on I’m happy to seduce my chap

It has occurred to me that I may be projecting. Focusing on my body concerns means less focus on things I will say/do/be to fuck it up.
As I say, I’ve met a few men already, enjoying their company, and it’s all helped me figure out what it is I want and what I don’t.
This man. It always comes back to him…

You're obsessed with someone you've never met. Obviously this is very unwise and unlikely to end well. I'd take a step back OP. Date people you can actually talk to in real life. This one is probably married.