To ask, politely, and seriously, if you are in your 50s, what do you look like naked?

[Dontfuckingsaycheese]

Hi.
I’ll cut to the chase. I’m 55 and single (happily for the last 15 years or so).
This year, following a rather exciting reboot, I decided to try online dating and I have been having a lot of fun. Met a few nice men. No nasty ones 🙂 I have also fallen in love with my body again and have lost over 3 stone so now just over 9.5 stone.
I am amazed at how good this 55 year-old body looks, FROM SOME ANGLES AND IN SOME POSITIONS. I’ve been making a few videos and stills and I can look damn 🔥
However, I am alarmed how I look, mainly from the front, if I lean forward. Everything prunes, falls and elongates, and it’s scary!! I have met a man online who I am absolutely obsessed by. For a few reasons, it’s been a few months and we haven’t met yet. We’re due to meet up next month. He’s seen some pics and videos of me and loved them, but of course, I’ve been able to carefully curate them. I don’t want him to be disappointed in how bits of me look. I feel like I should warn him in some way. I know it shouldn’t matter, and he should like me as a person, but things have been tres flirty and I’m very keen to make it physical 😉 I feel like just explaining I’m aware there’s parts of me that are a bit time-ravaged. He’s a little older than me, so wondering if it’s the same for him… So he’ll understand I mean, and not run for the hills. I’m thinking of explaining this in terms of wanting to feel confident in bed, so it may be that, at times maybe I may wish to wear a top or something…
I’m wondering how others feel, any pearls of wisdom, advice, reassurance, amusing anecdotes to make me feel better… 🤔

My F cup boobs are like two clock pendulums and there are various little saggy areas, including a little overhang above my hysterectomy scar (it's just like a c-section scar). I don't look too bad in bra and pants if I stand up straight. Really, I DGAF - I'm in my 50s and I have a body appropriate to my age, which I'll happily uncover on the beach or similar -" woman in her 50s looks like woman in her 50s shocker" 😆

Jesus, don't 'warn' him! You sound like you look great and he's older than you so he must be aware of what bodies that age look like. If he's not, or if he's in any way put off by the natural signs of ageing in a healthy, well cared for body, then he's not worth shagging.

lol so true. Look around at happily married people you know. Its not looks that hold them together.

A morning update. Thank you so much for everybody’s replies. I have read them all and am taking it all onboard. Whether I change any of my MO because of it remains to be seen 🙄
I will just add, though, regarding dodgy digital image/vid sharing, sextortion etc, that with today’s tech capabilities, AI etc, any one of us who has a single online photo of themselves, including face only, could find themselves victim of the nefarious actions of the so-inclined. It would take a not particularly tech savvy person seconds to use that image to create way more explicit and potentially compromising content than what I’ve shared.
We have no idea what could be out there of each and every one of us.
I have thought about it and chosen to put a few relatively tame things out there.

Mines not as good as it was when I was 20! 😫

I lost a lot of weight, very quickly, when my DH died, and it’s had an effect on the firmness of my body.

But, that’s life. I dress to suit myself and scrub up ok.

My partner seems happy enough as well. 😊.

What a strange thread. You're hardly shy and retiring if you've shared videos and photos. Sounds like you're looking for casual sex so why care what he thinks of your body. Ffs have some more self respect.

My late 50s body looks great thanks to the goddess that is Caroline Girvan. Strong and healthy- I feel sexy every time I catch a glimpse of my muscles.

I think you're making a mistake (for you, not him!) In curating pics and videos. You need to occupy your beautiful body as is, rather than enhancing with tec jiggery pokery, poses, lights and angles. Because when you see what you can look like with those things, it makes you hyper critical of your every day self.
If I were you, I cut down on the ooh look how good i can look this way and that business, and conversely, stop deliberately putting yourself into positions and staring at any parts you don't like. Be natural with yourself and reduce your mirror time (it's clearly a double edged sword!) so your appearance isn't such a focus.
As for him, unless he's very naive or a bit thick, he will have an idea of what women's bodies look like at various life stages, so shouldn't be at all surprised. And it works both ways remember, with significant difference between young and older male bodies, so hopefully you won't be disappointed in him.

If he's older, you'll have nothing to worry about -you may well find it's more the other way round in the disappointment stakes!

The thing is, though, many of those happily married folk met when they were in their physical way-less-pruny prime, and for them, that’s what they can still see within the time-ravaged person in front of them. They know each other’s history. Stretch marks, scars and loose skin are their beautiful milestones marking their many years together.
I don’t get that benefit.

You are unwise to share any intimate photos of your body with a complete stranger, because despite the fact that you think you know him from a few online conversations, you really don't. This could end badly and you could regret it for the rest of your life. But the thing that I can't get my head around is WHY haven't you met him? Do you live a long distance apart? Does he suggest meeting up or make excuses not to? Either way stop the photos and press him for a meeting, you will probably be very disappointed when you meet him in the flesh (most men you meet online use old photos or worse, other peoples photos) also, don't point out your flaws, that makes you sound very insecure. Be confident, be bold have fun but above all, be safe.
I really wish you luck in finding the right man but as someone else said, a decent man wouldn't encourage you to send photos but would be desperate to meet a confident 50 something women who likes her own body, so stop the photos and make this man that you are so "obsessed" by, a reality.

I’m presuming toning will help. Gym maybe yoga? In forties and certain areas still move and don’t stay firm. Please only do this for you. I’m concerned your sending pics to someone you have never met op.

You also seem to be really fixated on appearances.

Will you be critically evaluating his body too and finding flaws and holding them up to the light?

Stop self obsessing.

Not there yet. I have a few years to go. I have sock tits. They look like socks filled with sand. My legs look like a doner kebab. Not one that's been eaten from but a new one just put on the spit. Although, that's not a new thing I was called kebab legs at school. I have stretch marks everywhere. I always had a flat tummy but once I turned 45 a tire has started to appear.

What I realise is that I've always hated my body. However, I look back to what I hated 10 years ago and I actually looked great. I think I'll look back again in another 10 years and think I didn't look that gad. In the meantime my kids have no photos of me because I won't have photos taken with me in them.

I met my partner in my 50s.

he’s more than happy with my body and I with his so don’t please do those of us who met our partners older down.

but. You haven’t met him in months. He’s a messer. If he wanted to meet you - he would.

God,don't send photos of yourself to anyone. Unless you are happy for the world to see it. Like literally a page in the news paper. Once you share anything like that you have no control over it or who is shared with.

No. In some contexts I am the very opposite of shy and retiring, but still insecure about some things.
I have my own morals and values. I always have. Despite being fully aware they don’t align with most people’s, I can’t imagine they’re going to change vastly anytime soon.

I love this - I don't know why but it's hit my funny bone 🤣🤣🤣

Who doesn't love a gnarly brown twig

Actually this is very insightful @Dontfuckingsaycheese. DH's chest and abdomen are a criss-cross of scars - 9 in total, 2 of them huge - and he looks like he was put together by a not very talented seamstress. But while he gets embarrassed by them, for me, our DCs and DGC it's more a reminder of what he has had to go through to stay with us at times, and we don't see them as flaws in any way.

There's a really good book by Natalie Lue called "The Dream Girl and the Fantasy Relationship" I read it soon after it came out, so by 55 I'd long kicked the habit of becoming obsessed with strangers or their online avatars.

Relationships begin when you meet. And even then you don't see anything but eachother's 'best representative' for a few months at least. You've been sending pictures to a stranger - and if you want to do that, you can get money for it on Only Fans.

Hilarious, that has brightened my day. Has the body produced other human beings at all? If so, it will be totally wrecked. Just sayin.

If I slouch my nipples are at my belly button.

Why are you sending videos to a random guy online ??

Being worried in your mid-50's about how you look to a man around his 60's is unnecessary. Male vision by this time has blurred into rose-tinted spectacles for anyone athletic enough and bothered enough to undress and crawl into a bed for any more than a damn good snoring session 😁