To ask, politely, and seriously, if you are in your 50s, what do you look like naked?

[Dontfuckingsaycheese]

Hi.
I’ll cut to the chase. I’m 55 and single (happily for the last 15 years or so).
This year, following a rather exciting reboot, I decided to try online dating and I have been having a lot of fun. Met a few nice men. No nasty ones 🙂 I have also fallen in love with my body again and have lost over 3 stone so now just over 9.5 stone.
I am amazed at how good this 55 year-old body looks, FROM SOME ANGLES AND IN SOME POSITIONS. I’ve been making a few videos and stills and I can look damn 🔥
However, I am alarmed how I look, mainly from the front, if I lean forward. Everything prunes, falls and elongates, and it’s scary!! I have met a man online who I am absolutely obsessed by. For a few reasons, it’s been a few months and we haven’t met yet. We’re due to meet up next month. He’s seen some pics and videos of me and loved them, but of course, I’ve been able to carefully curate them. I don’t want him to be disappointed in how bits of me look. I feel like I should warn him in some way. I know it shouldn’t matter, and he should like me as a person, but things have been tres flirty and I’m very keen to make it physical 😉 I feel like just explaining I’m aware there’s parts of me that are a bit time-ravaged. He’s a little older than me, so wondering if it’s the same for him… So he’ll understand I mean, and not run for the hills. I’m thinking of explaining this in terms of wanting to feel confident in bed, so it may be that, at times maybe I may wish to wear a top or something…
I’m wondering how others feel, any pearls of wisdom, advice, reassurance, amusing anecdotes to make me feel better… 🤔

I’m 58 and 9st 10.
I think I look ok for my age but obviously nothing like my younger self.

My bottom is a droopy little thing these days, my tummy is porridge, my boobs are lifeless and my skin is just ‘agey. A bit loose and wobbly even though I’m not fat.

I’ve been with my husband for ever and he thinks I look fab. I look better for my/ our wedding age than he does to be honest.

I understand why you’re feeling a bit nervous about your body but please have a word with yourself - you’re doing great and if someone wants a Barbie doll they can make a trip to Hamleys.

Pleaae be careful though OP. You don’t know this man from Adam. Please take ALL sensible precautions when you move this from online to face-to-face.

x

Hot

(well, if I'm having a menopausal flush, not quite 50 but butting in).

We never seem to ask about whether we will find men’s ageing bodies attractive.
What about him OP? If he’s a few years old then you then he’s likely going to be in a similar boat- dad bod, losing hair on his head/gaining it on his back, etc. men can get varicose veins, wrinkles too, etc etc
will this put you off him?
how would you feel if he told you he was worried you wouldn’t find his body attractive?
I’m early 50s and my bf is a little older but I wouldn’t trade him for 2 30 year olds (Friends reference for those who remember!)

Another who thinks you're really silly. You realise that you could just turn up to meet him and something about him just gives you the creeps? That has happened so many people I know. I had a couple of online relationships where we met after several months, long ago and back in the day of the early Internet, and it took me a hell of a long time to reconcile the person I'd been speaking to with the reality in front of me. No photos were sent back in those days and I was so glad of that. When you say you're pretty sure he's not married, would you feel free to call him in the middle of the night if you needed something?? How accessible is he? I would hold back on the sex talk and just try to get to know him properly.

Ooh. Good point! I guess I am old enough to have a dating granddaughter, but my son is only in his 20s.
I’ve always said to him I’m useless with relationship advice, having had very little in terms of that. Single mum from the start. He’s actually grown into a lovely, kind, pretty levelheaded young man. Nothing like me, except for the kind bit 🙄
What I would say to this granddaughter though, I guess, is, do what you think is right, and what’s right for you. Don’t worry what other people think. If there’s something you want, go for it, and be true to yourself and safe about it.

Saggy tits, round belly, wobbly thighs

God some of these responses, lighten up people!
OP you’ll be fine, he’s older than you and probably has more wobbly bits than you. Be safe and have a blast! I hope I’m still concerned about looking hot and having great sex when I’m in my 50s

I'm glad you're having a good time, OP, and I don't want to be mean but you do sounds rather immature for someone past the menopause.

I’m 54 and weigh 7st 13 so I’m very thin but not toned because I’m disabled so can’t exercise. My upper arms are quite toned because I have to use crutches to walk. I don’t have any stretch marks, which is pure luck, but I do have scars from major surgeries on my back and pelvis.

I’m happy with how I look and DH finds me attractive.

@Dontfuckingsaycheese You may not like how your body looks in a certain position, but surely you must know that men simply do not care.

@ChiaraRimini We never seem to ask about whether we will find men’s ageing bodies attractive.

Quite clearly, women don't find the majority of men attractive.

I get the giddiness - I suspect some posters aren’t single or haven’t been out of the game that long.

That said… take a breath. Meet in real life. A casual coffee or pint (my preference). If the sparks are there you’ll both know.
Even the most normal, innocent friendships seem different in the flesh than online so I’d warn against getting too deep before you’ve met.

Not sure why it’s relevant, but I’m still actually peri-menopausal…
As for mature… I’m not prepared to live a boring life with no fun and excitement, no! I’m living my life in full, as long as I still can. I have a full-on but very rewarding career, a fun side-hustle, a wonderfully loving family, friends and a dog. Now I want something else too! Where’s the harm? I know exactly what I’m doing here, including the probable pitfalls and pains, but that’s not going to stop me. It never has.

I’m reminded of the scene in Ghosts when Lady B is having an affair with Humphrys’ body and Mary says “you go, girl!” If you’re happy then why all the criticism. What’s wrong with a woman in her 50s having confidence in herself and wanting intimacy.

Dim the lights if you prefer. Body suits with poppers are also fun.

I forgot to finish my post. The ‘should I forewarn him’ is totally normal but he’s totally thinking the same thing.

I’ve been making a few videos and stills

This bit worries me, OP. Please think really carefully about- this man ‘a little older’ than you, or this 80 year old man, or this 22 year old man, or this 30 year old woman (or any other combination) can do what he or she wants with them. If they want to put them on a public website available for anyone to see, and add your name in, then they can do that.

Plus, an online connection is nothing like a real, face to face connection. Just because one works doesn’t mean the other does too.

I'm 50, not much above 9st and have a belly-dancers' stomach, boobs ok but not what they used to be pre-birth and breastfeeding, obviously.

My partner is 71. A very slim, fit and able 71 though! He cannot get enough of me, and I him.

Older men do it for me (although he's my only experience). As PP have said, if the chemistry is there, neither of you will give a hoot.

Go for it OP (but I agree on NOT doing anything online. That is asking for trouble)

Can I just say, when I said warn him about some bits, what I actually meant is acknowledge them to him, make it clear I am actually fully aware of them! He knows I like my body, and I’m pretty confident about it. I just didn’t want him to think, well she thinks she’s ’all that’ but she isn’t. How does she not know?? Because, of course I know!! I’m now not feeling confident about my body-confidence! Tying myself up in knots here guys!

You feel you should warn him?! wtf

🙄

OP this is so much NOT what you should be worried about in a situation where you are giving naked pics to someone online.

It's like going to sit your A Levels and worrying about what your pencil case looks like.

If you are really worried, send each "sub par" body bit in a pic of its own, with titles like "Prune Angle of Boobs."

The whole thing would have been easier if you hadn't got intimate before you were ... well, actually intimate.

It's weird, like a house seller worried that the agency photos weren't of the bathroom mould.

The whole situation sounds totally dodgy to me, and I think you ought to be on your guard. I can't imagine wanting to meet a man who had wanted to view my nude photos before meeting me.

Listen if he's a bit older than you then everything's heading south for him too so you'll both be in the same boat. Don't sweat it. Jump on top and ride the hell out of him. He'll love it regardless.

@Calliopespa It's like going to sit your A Levels and worrying about what your pencil case looks like.

😂😂

That is my favourite line on MN for quite some time.

OP,sorry to be so blunt but he's probably got a wank bank of dozens of women ge talks to online. I'll be brutally honest and say he has zero desire to meet any of these women including you
I remember working on a building site,I was one of 3 women on a large project and about 50 men. I'd say at least 5 of these blokes used to go on old,it was just a bit of fun for them and as far as I'm aware they never had any intention of meeting up with them. It was a game for them
I've done old,95% were absolute wankers and the few I met were either pathological liars or
fantastisis.
Get yourself a hobby,go out and explore new places,events. You are kidding yourself a decent man would find a women who srnds erotic videos and photos of herself a catch