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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask, politely, and seriously, if you are in your 50s, what do you look like naked?

330 replies

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 28/08/2025 21:12

Hi.
I’ll cut to the chase. I’m 55 and single (happily for the last 15 years or so).
This year, following a rather exciting reboot, I decided to try online dating and I have been having a lot of fun. Met a few nice men. No nasty ones 🙂 I have also fallen in love with my body again and have lost over 3 stone so now just over 9.5 stone.
I am amazed at how good this 55 year-old body looks, FROM SOME ANGLES AND IN SOME POSITIONS. I’ve been making a few videos and stills and I can look damn 🔥
However, I am alarmed how I look, mainly from the front, if I lean forward. Everything prunes, falls and elongates, and it’s scary!! I have met a man online who I am absolutely obsessed by. For a few reasons, it’s been a few months and we haven’t met yet. We’re due to meet up next month. He’s seen some pics and videos of me and loved them, but of course, I’ve been able to carefully curate them. I don’t want him to be disappointed in how bits of me look. I feel like I should warn him in some way. I know it shouldn’t matter, and he should like me as a person, but things have been tres flirty and I’m very keen to make it physical 😉 I feel like just explaining I’m aware there’s parts of me that are a bit time-ravaged. He’s a little older than me, so wondering if it’s the same for him… So he’ll understand I mean, and not run for the hills. I’m thinking of explaining this in terms of wanting to feel confident in bed, so it may be that, at times maybe I may wish to wear a top or something…
I’m wondering how others feel, any pearls of wisdom, advice, reassurance, amusing anecdotes to make me feel better… 🤔

OP posts:
AnnikaLowe · 31/08/2025 11:29

I know that Judi Dench admitted to buying 'naughty knickers' well into her 80s for the new man in her life (now her partner.)

Onthebusses · 31/08/2025 11:56

YumYa · 31/08/2025 11:21

@Onthebusses how odd. My dm was still at it in her 80s. Granted her fella was a LOT younger. You'd have been like Maggie Blackamore from Little Britain!

how young?!

YumYa · 31/08/2025 12:44

Onthebusses · 31/08/2025 11:56

how young?!

Mid 60s

Someone2025 · 31/08/2025 14:36

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 31/08/2025 09:28

Depends what you’re meaning as ‘old’ I guess. Too confused to consent, too frail to move meaningfully and know what’s going on around you - maybe you could class that as ‘old’ or even ‘too old’.
Anything else, as long you still enjoy it, can do it, desire it and someone desires it with you, bloody hell yes, I’m going to be fucking doing it!

Edited

Exactly, I go through periods of not wanting it at all ( I’m single) I think that’s partly lowish libido from perimenopause and I’m just a lot fussier than I was when I’m younger but put an attractive man ( around my age, 50) that I fancy in front of me and all the feelings come back…..I would love to find a man that I’m really attracted as the feeling is amazing…..

Justchilling07 · 31/08/2025 15:19

ScurryfungeSpuddle · 29/08/2025 10:46

Absolutely loads of 55 year olds have teenage grandchildren 🤦‍♀️

But the OP has said she wouldn't dissuade a teenage grandaughter from sending naked pics and videos online.

And that instead she'd advise her to do what makes her happy.

Yes, l see what you’re saying❤️
I guess l meant people in the last decade or so are having children much later in life.I had my child, in early forties and friends did in their late thirties.
My child is 2 years old, l can’t even think about getting my head around being a grandparent😂

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