To refuse a boob job after DH said mine are “wrecked” post DC4?

[Hoistraft]

bit of background first. ive just had DC4 about 6 weeks ago. total shock, was on the pill and it failed. tbh DH wasnt exactly over the moon about it, hes been a bit grumpy about the whole thing and weve been snapping at each other more than usual. im knackered, breastfeeding round the clock, house looks like a bomb site and i dont even know what day it is half the time.

so yesterday i was getting changed and he just comes out with “you should think about getting your boobs done, they’re a bit wrecked now after 4 kids”. i laughed it off at first but then he said he was serious and that “it would be good for both of us” if i sorted them. he keeps saying he’s only being honest and that it’s not a big deal these days.

i feel really rubbish now. yes theyre not what they were at 20 but i grew and fed 4 children with them and atm i actually think my body deserves a medal not a surgeon. im exhausted, hormonal and the last thing on my mind is cosmetic surgery. but part of me is wondering if im letting myself go and maybe hes right?

AIBU to flat out refuse or is it selfish to just expect him to accept me as i am now?

What an utter twat

“it would be good for both of us”

WOW !!!**

Wtf show him the door

Calmy now, is the man still breathing???

All jokes aside, of course yanbu.

Unfortunately no surgeon can do that personality transplant your partner so desperately needs.

He's fucking vile.
Insult his cock.

I can’t imagine his dick is the same as it was when you first met? Or his paunch? Hairline?

Your husband is a misogynist and I think my vagina would clamp shut at any future approaches if he were mine.

YANBU.

He’s a prick!!! No way he should be saying that, and certainly not 6 weeks post natal!!

The baby is 6 weeks old and you are still post partum and breast feeding. Your husband is an arsehole.

Did he want you to terminate the pregnancy?

I would refuse, I don’t want some plastic stuff in my body that could do damage down the line

I would have a word with him when you are calmer and explain just how upset you are about his comment, that he should expect you to put something in your body just to suit him, when, as you say, you have birthed and breast fed four kids

Ask him how he would feel if you told him he needed to get a penis enlargement

Good for both of us.

Fucking hell. 😡😡😡

Just when I think I can't see a shittier husband or partner comment on a mn post another comes along.

You are breastfeeding. Why should you have surgery just because your husband is an arsehole?

YANBU at all! It is your body, you choose whether to have surgery, and he needs to work on being kinder 😡

You must have misheard him he probably said I think I should get a vasectomy.

Tell him to get a vasectomy. It's not a big deal these days, and while he's at it maybe some Botox in his balls. They're getting a bit saggy right? Be good for both of you

What. An. Utter. Cunt.

Ask him to get some liposuction and a penis enlargement too. What an insensitive a hole. Even if he actually meant it, what an evil time to say it. You say he's not thrilled with your recent child. Do you think he's being intentionally horrible to you so you'll leave him?

Christ on a bike. Men are so selfish, always thinking what’s best for them.

Ask him what's he's planning to do in return that will be 'good for both of you' 🙄

He wasn’t thrilled about the pregnancy but as you say the pill failed, I’m guessing he has never taken responsibility for his only reproductive abilities?

tell him to get the snip or it’s condoms but that the comment he made was his first and final chance. He doesn’t get another. He’ll be gone.

absolutely disgusting that he thinks your body is his play toy to be updated

How absolutely dare he? The cheek of that man! I think you were very restrained not to castrate him then and there!

I think he is lucky they are still too tender from breastfeeding so you couldn't bludgeon him to death with one. Or suffocate him.

Being serious though I think that a conversation later about how hurtful that was and how you feel no need to risk your health with surgery and foreign objects in your body.

What a monumental prick that man is.

Cunt is the only suitable word.
You (both) have a six week old baby and this is what he contributes?
Id never want him to see my boobs again.

Holy hellfire! I never say LTB but this is a good candidate.

OP, fuck what he thinks, but IF and only if you want to, you can change the positioning/ lift of your breasts a fair amount with exercise. I have had 3 children and I do a lot of upper body work in the gym, and it's def made a difference.

But don't get surgery, Jesus.... if it goes wrong it exposes you to much worse problems.

Main thing is - you don't need to change anything. And don't make any decisions now whilst 6w pp.

Fuck me, I always think that nothing I read on here will shock me, but I'm shocked by this. What an utter prick he is.