To refuse a boob job after DH said mine are “wrecked” post DC4?

[Hoistraft]

bit of background first. ive just had DC4 about 6 weeks ago. total shock, was on the pill and it failed. tbh DH wasnt exactly over the moon about it, hes been a bit grumpy about the whole thing and weve been snapping at each other more than usual. im knackered, breastfeeding round the clock, house looks like a bomb site and i dont even know what day it is half the time.

so yesterday i was getting changed and he just comes out with “you should think about getting your boobs done, they’re a bit wrecked now after 4 kids”. i laughed it off at first but then he said he was serious and that “it would be good for both of us” if i sorted them. he keeps saying he’s only being honest and that it’s not a big deal these days.

i feel really rubbish now. yes theyre not what they were at 20 but i grew and fed 4 children with them and atm i actually think my body deserves a medal not a surgeon. im exhausted, hormonal and the last thing on my mind is cosmetic surgery. but part of me is wondering if im letting myself go and maybe hes right?

AIBU to flat out refuse or is it selfish to just expect him to accept me as i am now?

I’d suggest he could perhaps book an operation to have his nasty, insensitive mouth sewn up.

What an utter dick.

As for, “We can’t keep doing this,” I’d be telling him he no longer has any worries on that front, as he’ll be getting nowhere near me ever again.

This comment nails it.
Is he exactly the same as when you met.
Maybe tell him he best not go bald. Or put weight on. And so on...
What happened to unconditional love.
He sounds awful

I'm so sorry OP.

What a prince among men He needs to grow up and realise that bodies change with age and sort out contraception himself in future.

This is very hurtful.

Maybe suggest to him you could look for a "his n' hers" package, your boobs in exchange for some abdominal etching, hair transplant and personality transplant for him? See how he likes being picked at like a piece of meat.

Your absolutely lovely however you are OP. Don't let him get you down.

So, am I gathering that you didn't strangle him with his own saggy ball sack? You truly are a pillar of self restraint.

Yup
When my DH made similar comments, I said "great! Let's get a Bogof...I get my boobs, you get your cock done".....oddly he never mentioned it again.

Consider divorcing the selfish egotistical weirdo

Tell him you agree and to transfer the money in to your bank account and then spend the money on a nice new expensive handbag. Afterwards, tell him that upon reflection, the handbag will prove much better value for money as you will get a lot more enjoyment out of it. They say a happy wife happy husband don’t they …

WOW, What an arsehole! Just after our DD was born (literally i was still on the labour bed waiting to be stitched) Where most husbands would be saying well done etc etc Mine said I really wanted a boy! Felt like such a kick in the stomach, I didn't even say anything. I have never forgotten it though and it's definitely festering away.
Not good OP 😔

Wtf have I just read. I think I know what would be good for you, divorce. what a cunt.

In 2nd this. I'd tell him his balls need a tuck and his cock is sideways. Shame that you have no choice but accept that with no surgery for him.

As you say, you should be praised and taken care of and he should be in awe of you for having carried, birthed and fed 4 children with your body. If he's that shallow to reduce your body to its mere appearance and sexual use, then he's a massive twat and can go fuck himself, literally.

Tell him to fuck off.

I’m sure you’ve got enough of suitable responses already, just wanted to add that you are too unselfish, I would kill him at the very minute of closing his mouth just for pure pleasure without thinking about kids and if they prefer to keep him in the house.

Let me guess, he doesn't want to have a vasectomy?

Men like him disgust me.

Please OP don't get a boob job. I had one 18 years ago and over the years I had a myriad of health problems that resulted in surgeries and being virtually bed bound in the end for two years. I nearly died and I strongly feel if I hadn't had them removed, I wouldn't be here now.
I didn't join the dots until about 3 years ago when I read that the health problems I had, had a strong correlation with implants. I had mine removed two years ago and out of the surgery straight away my health started improving and has been getting better all the time. I feel great now.

The cosmetic surgery industry makes a lot of money out of women's insecurities and gas-lights women to this day that implants are safe and that Breast Implant Illness isn't real. Believe me it's very real and the surgeons know this. Explant surgery is on the rise and there are now surgeons who have stopped implanting women and who only do explants. There are groups on the internet full of women who have been slowly poisoned by their implants and some have even died.
If you'd asked me before I would have said I had no issues at all with mine but that was before I worked out the problems I was having that started 6 months after I had mine done were the cause.
It costs much more money getting them removed than it does to have them put in and either way one day they will have to come out.

I was very lucky that I had a good result after explant and I finally love my body now but there are some poor women who look butchered (because they have been!).
Your boobs are a part of your story they fed your babies and your amazing body that has birthed four healthy babies doesn't deserve to go through hell just so your selfish cunt of a H has decided they are 'wrecked'.

If my DH said that to me I'd be showing him the door.

He sounds very egotistical and entitled. If he was so concerned about expanding your family he could have spent the "surgery money" he seems to have knocking around on a vasectomy.

Karma has a special place for dicks like this. We can hope it includes knobrot and a very quick and permanent snapping of his metabolism.

Breast tissue can rebound/tighten somewhat in the year or two post nursing. It takes time for skin and tissue to retract.

I’m genuinely shocked by this and I don’t shock easy. Absolute dick move on his part and completely uncalled for. Sounds like resentment is setting in on his part - but that is NOT an excuse to make nasty little jibes at you.
Start telling him how these digs make you feel and ask what he’s hoping to achieve with them. It might be temp frazzle given the new arrival and he’s not realising what effect he’s having on you (total dick given what you’re having to deal with right now). Or he’s genuinely irredeemable and this is just going to keep getting worse. Either way, you need to get to the bottom of it and make your plans either way.

Tell him to get the snip and a penis enlargement now as you can’t feel anything from him after birthing his four children. What an insensitive thing to say right now! It’s both people’s responsibility not to get pregnant a fourth time but he sounds like he’s not on board with that. Defo grade A dick behaviour, so sorry for you OP in the thick of baby stuff! I hope you have some good girlie friends who will slag him off with you over the phone or WhatsApp xxx

Tell him he needs scrotox on his saggy ball sack.

Right now no. Be sure to request for the money pot when you are done breastfeeding and spend it however you want. Or save. It will be very good indeed.

Also he is pure dick.

Tell him to take his stupid self off for a vasectomy tomorrow