Is my DH's request reasonable?

[Ihaveneedofwaternear]

I've just come home from work unexpectedly while DH was in the loft WFH. It's not unknown for me to do this, as I work in the community and home can be closer than the office so sometimes I do my notes at home.

DH has just come down and asked that I text him up in the loft whenever I get back, as otherwise he hears someone moving around downstairs and is worried. I shouted hello when I came in, but he didn't hear.

Do you think that's an unreasonable request?

Totally reasonable really. Quick message - home in ten, just letting you know. Why not?

HINBU

It's a perfectly reasonable request.

Coz it's just something else for me to remember to do in a busy day, and why can't he just lock the door if he's that worried about burglars, and why does he not just assume the most likely option that the person moving around downstairs is me?!

I think that's absolutely fine to ask, why would you want to worry him unnecessarily?

Well be horrible to him them - don't text him and let him be worried. I don't know how people live in tit for tat relationships like that it must be horrid.

Are you saying he leaves the door unlocked when he's working in the loft? Because THAT'S unreasonable and downright stupid.

No time to text husband, lots of time to make a thread on MN!

I'd find it odd but it's not exactly a big and ask and it would make him feel better.

If you really can't bear to do it, you could buy a small camera (eufy do a good range) and place it downstairs so he can check on his phone if he hears you. I'd just text him, personally.

Was just thinking the same😂

You bothered to shout up Hello, is it that much more faff to send a quick "home now" text when you get in?

The doors should be locked anyway, so randoms can't wander in. He is unreasonable if he leaves doors unsecured while he's in the loft

Do you even like him op?

your second post is so aggressive given what is a perfectly reasonable request from him, unless there’s far more info than given in your op.

It's not a tit for tat relationship. And I don't want him to worry - but why the big worry?! Of course it's probably me, and lock the door if you're worried it might not be. I should hello when I come in.

I said I felt like that wasn't needed and he's annoyed, and now I feel bad but I also feel like I'm right! 🤣

Definitely reasonable. This would bother me too.

If DH gets in and the shower is on (so he knows I haven't heard him come home) he sets our wedding song playing through the bedroom speakers.

Very reasonable request, or at the very least make sure he has heard you say hello. I tell my teen my teen to stick his head in my office if he comes home during the day just so I know he is in the house. DH always brings me a cuppa up if I am still working so no need for him to do it.

I think he’s being daft, OP. Agree he can lock the door if he’s worried about burglars.

Very reasonable. Sounds an easy way to be thoughtful.
If the situation was reversed, do you think you wouldn't every feel nervous to hear noises downstairs?
I guess I know I would which us why it seems reasonable to me. But then my husband can come very quietly come into our small kitchen while I'm cooking and I scream in fright when I turn round 😂

🤣 I know I'm ridiculous making a thread about it, whio takes so much longer. I don't know why it's riled me up so much! Lots of you clearly would think nothing of it

That's really sweet.

I don't think it's an UR request, I've been through it multiple times when someones come home unexpected and I've heard people downstairs and panicked a little bit. I have had someone break in before whilst I was in so I might be a bit more sensitive but I don't think it's much of an ask.

He should lock the door! Otherwise it might not be you and he should be worried!

It's seems like a very minor and reasonable request from him

It's just polite imo, to announce yourself as coming home or are home if someone is wfh or at home more than others, especially if you don't come home at the same time every day.
He can't hear you shouting so a text is reasonable or maybe you can ring the doorbell in a mutually agreed pattern.... like morse code 😂

Burglers burgle houses with locked doors, as well as houses with unlocked doors.

Anyway, don't message him beforehand if you don't want too, that'll teach him 🙄 Just out of interest, when was the last time you took him out for a pint? Or lunch?

Ridiculous request imo. It’s mid afternoon, you live there and it’s not an unheard of occurrence for you to come home early. Vanishingly unlikely it’s anyone else.

I’d also be furious if the door was being left unlocked.

Oh dear, seems I'm most likely the horrible one!