Is my DH's request reasonable?

[Ihaveneedofwaternear]

I've just come home from work unexpectedly while DH was in the loft WFH. It's not unknown for me to do this, as I work in the community and home can be closer than the office so sometimes I do my notes at home.

DH has just come down and asked that I text him up in the loft whenever I get back, as otherwise he hears someone moving around downstairs and is worried. I shouted hello when I came in, but he didn't hear.

Do you think that's an unreasonable request?

Not horrible, you checked for others opinions to get a wider perspective 😊

Haven't you previously told him that leaving the door unlocked when he's up in the loft is astonishingly stupid and he MUST lock it?

My DS came round once during the day unannounced. I narrowly missed his head with a cricket bat as he walked out of the living room! I thought he was a burglar. He always texts now. Your DH is not being unreasonable.

Tell him you'll text when he locks the door, he should be locked I agree with that part.

@Ihaveneedofwaternear you say it's another thing to remember, but once you've done it a few times it'll just be automatic, like putting on shoes to go out. So no effort really.
Give it a go!
I don't think you're horrible, it's just one of those different point of view things!

I voted YANBU. You are entitled to come in to your own home without announcing your presence.

Tell him to install a Ring doorbell and then an Alexa in his loft. He will see you come home. It cost £60 for those 2 items. Or he can get a mini cam for the living room for £15.

Make this HIS problem to solve.

Not sure what this means? Maybe I sound like an awful wife? He was out 3 nights and 6 hours on Saturday doing his hobby last week, and the same again this week. I do a lot of solo childcare to facilitate it, so I think I'm nice enough...

I had a thread recently about him always shouting up to see where I am in the house, which is also getting on my nerves. I think maybe I'm a bit sick of him WFH and always needing to be accountable!!

Because you are right. The last thing I want to do is text when I get home. He can put a mini cam in the hallway/living room, they cost £15 on Amazon!

But does DS live there? ‘Coming round unannounced’ and ‘coming home from work to your actual house’ are two different things and one more likely to end with the business end of a cricket bat than the other…

So he shouts up to you but expects you to text him? Fuck that!

Get a ring doorbell set to motion, problem solved.

Could you not just shout up to him from somewhere where he can hear you?

Have you somehow imagined OP is a visitor to her own home?

If he’s bothered, and a quick text would unbother him, I really can’t see why you wouldn’t. My dp whistles when he comes in.

Don't be an arse, it's not that deep, just text him.

Why can't he get a camera?

My front door is locked and my daughter sometimes lets herself in, I don't always hear her if I have earphones on and it frightens the life out of me when she appears at my office door.
Its a reasonable request I think.

If texting seems a nuisance to you how about shouting, and repeating until he answers?

How big is your house that he can’t just shout down “Is that you @Ihaveneedofwaternear “ And you shout back “yes” 🤣

Absolutely no way I’d be texting someone in the house every time I got home. You shouted up to say hi 🤷‍♀️ that would be job done in my opinion!

I hate those doorbell cameras. I hate feeling like I can't come and go without been seen and a notification popping up on someone's phone. We used to have one and I asked him to get rid because I hated that he knew about my comings and goings when he wasn't even there. He once text me to tell me my parents where at the door when he was out and I was home, and I heard the doorbell and was walking to answer it!

I think we are just different people. I know I'm making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill, but he's actually a bit annoyed I laughed and said that was mad, and I feel like I should apologise but I don't really want to 🤣

Ringdoor bell. He will get a notification and can check it’s you. Easily solved

My teenage son has the attic bedroom. Whenever I come in and know he's in, I've never noticed it until now but yeah, I shout up and tell him I'm back. But maybe that's because I usually need a wee when I get in and the toilet is on the first floor so just kinda comes natural to shout up before going in the bathroom 😁

Shouting hello isn't enough, you have to go to the bottom of the loft ladder and shout 'Cooeeee! Its only me! ' in a Scottish accent.
That will work.....
Well it does at our house🤣

I agree with you OP. He can lock the door.

You've shouted to announce your arrival.

Nothing more required.

he wants you to text to say you’re going to be home to your own house???? Ridiculous! If he’s that worried about burglars , why doesn’t he text you to say- hey I’m in the loft and I’ve locked the door in case you’ll be home soon.