Is my DH's request reasonable?

[Ihaveneedofwaternear]

I've just come home from work unexpectedly while DH was in the loft WFH. It's not unknown for me to do this, as I work in the community and home can be closer than the office so sometimes I do my notes at home.

DH has just come down and asked that I text him up in the loft whenever I get back, as otherwise he hears someone moving around downstairs and is worried. I shouted hello when I came in, but he didn't hear.

Do you think that's an unreasonable request?

Maybe he's not actually working in the loft OP. Perhaps he doesn't want to get caught out doing/watching something you wouldn't like.

Nothing wrong in that, but I would be wondering if he was watching porn and having a nifty wank and needed a minute to gather himself

It’s a very small request but you are making it sound such inconvenience to you.

My thoughts too.

I would always text on my way home to let him know.

He’s perfectly reasonable. Texting ‘Home in 15 mins to WFH’ must take, what? 5 seconds?

It’s reasonable. We do it here when others are in we know they are working

Surely just agree to text something simple
like I’m home. You can even set up an auto text. Sorry I don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to ask this. If this is all that’s wrong in your relationship you’re very lucky.

You genuinely believe it is better to have an indoor camera filming her that for her to send a quick text to her husband in the attic.

aye, ok. 😂

This is how all the tasks to women pile up. It's just a small request, why won't you do it, it will make him happy, don't be spiteful, don't be mean, and so and so on.

I couldn't give a toss what he's watching or doing. Obviously I wouldn't want him having an affair, but I think he would lock the door if that was the case 🤣

I'm realising from this thread it's more of a moral objection to something I think is totally unnecessary and a bit ridiculous, rather than being any massive inconvenience to me (although I wouldn't remember)

Me too 😂 but again could be worse 🤷‍♀️

I work from home full time. Hubby works nearby but doesn't come home very often. He popped home a few weeks back and came in when I was putting washing out in the garden. I absolutely sh** myself when I came indoors and heard the toilet flush upstairs!
It's probably no bother to just pop upstairs and stick your head round the door to say hi. You get wrapped up in your own world when you're home alone all day :-)

You genuinely believe she has to text her husband to tell him she's home when she's literally ... at home.

aye, ok 😂

OP did shout hello. Or do you mean that she should have gone into the loft and shouted hello at him ? Considering he obviously lives in constant terror of intruders, her head popping up through the loft opening would probably have given him a heart attack.

But you do your thing, if you want to send texts telling people you're in your own house that's fine, or you could just shout hello which is what Op and I do. we can agree to differ, no need to use the D word !.

It's not hard just send a two second WhatsApp symbol you agree on if saying I'm home is to much....personally I'd be sending aaking a cuppa want one message

So everyone has to text each other every time they come home to avoid worrying anyone?! This seems bizarre. I’m with OP! 😂

What if she doesn't want a cuppa? He's at home, he can make his own cuppa.

He's in the loft room maybe it doesn't travel from front door through loft fire door

This is the problem though isn't it, it's something else to remember to do!

If he locked the door he wouldn't be worried about people wandering in!!

You could always get a doorbell that you put indoors, one end just inside, the other in the loft.. easier to just press a button where you put your keys down rather than get out your phone and write a message.

Some people make very heavy weather over the simplest of things.

Takes seconds, I’d text and often do if I’m particularly late, for example. My DH tends to message to say he’s leaving, his shifts are unpredictable in that he sometimes needs to stay on, so it’s handy knowing when to expect him.

If he can't hear her shout then I doubt he's actually freaking out about hearing her move around 😅

More likely didn't want to be caught doing whatever men get up to in the loft 🙃

I didn’t think of man / woman issue in it. I ask dh to give me a heads up many times when he is about to come home for different reasons. Anyways, if it feels like what you say to op then she should hold her ground.

I'm not saying he's got an actual woman in the loft but he could be chatting to someone online. And even if you don't give a toss about him wanking or watching porn, I'll bet good money that he almost certainly doesn't want you to walk in on him doing it.

Perhaps he’s worried you’ll interrupt him having a crafty wank.