To think most people on here are slightly unhinged?

[Sadworld]

I’m genuinely curious and have changed username! I’m just shocked every time I read a thread and posts responding on AIBU. Some people are kind and thoughtful in their responses but others are quite unhinged I would say. I won’t mention any posts as I think that would mean a deletion due to a post about a post? I might be wrong tho. Just generally speaking I was reading a post from a few days ago and the OP was very clear but people responding with some crazy things calling her all sorts! I did defend her hence changing my username now as I don’t want people to find the threads I’m talking about and give more abuse to the OP’s. But seriously the latest one she was very very clear but the responses were absolutely batshit. It’s like gaslighting (is that the term I mean?). The poor OP responded kindly to the same accusations explaining but was met with more abuse!

Being a genuinely kind person I can’t believe people do this. What are the reasons? Surely the world can’t be full of shitty people like this? What’s other people’s opinions? For my sanity I will ignore the obvious goading attempts but will respond to all genuinely interested in a debate against my thoughts.

Yes I'm saddened when I read the harsh judgemental responses from some & upsettingly, sometimes it seems there's a ring leader, to which others then follow - Jumping on the bandwagon, like sheep
What is so disappointing is, those sitting in judgement, haven't walked in the op shoes & seem to oftentimes, conveniently ignore the fact, that the op wouldn't have posted in 1st place, if they didn't care, & it's clear they mostly are just seeking genuine guidance, not judgements
Take great care of your kind self 💚

I have never met a genuinely kind person that referred to themselves as ‘genuinely kind’. What I have met is a lot of people who constantly refer to themselves as ‘genuinely kind’ and are actually total thunder cunts.

No

Facebook comments are openly racist and misogynistic, because Zuckerberg wants it that way, so it’s weird that Manford picked on Mumsnet rather than Facebook. At least MN deletes most racist and misogynistic posts.

Yes, I've been on here a long time. I do think it was different back then. There was more humour, and I don't think people (women!) were as quick to put the boot in. Because it was all women with children there wasn't the breadth of opinion you get now, with the weird outliers. I don't think people here are unhinged, but it does feel a bit like at school when someone is being picked on in the playground and everyone else is either egging on the bully or staying quiet because they don't want to be next.

Calling women bitches to show how kind you are?

I think there a lot of rose coloured glasses about the 'old days'.

It has always been a viper pit. People maybe be dumber now because there are more of them. But MN was always pretty mental.

Of course people are nastier behind a screen. There's an entire thread right now about things you hate but can't say, it's the same sort of premise.

I have so many annoyances with my MIL which I'd never be so rude to share directly to her, but if someone posting on here appeared to share the same traits as her, I'd tell them how I feel.

There's little to no consequence to what anyone says here, so your normal moral standards go out the window. It's also not reality when it's just words on screen. It is to the person posting the thread (or sometimes maybe not) but that's so very different to having a human being sitting in front of you.

Yes!!

I have often noticed this too.

I was going to post along these lines but thought I would read the full thread first. Glad I did because I think you have expressed this much better and more authoritatively than I would.

Clearly though this isn't just Mumsnet. I read something recently on a local social media page where someone was having a rant about bad behaviour by some young people in the town centre and had some footage from the incident to back it up. The early posters were outraged and calling the youngsters involved scum etc. I don't usually post on there but did this time make the mistake of pointing out how this incident might easily have developed from an innocent mistake. Pretty soon there was a pile on where apparently I am the reason society is in the mess it is in. Who knew!

You need a few lessons in comprehension love. Nowhere do I say that I chose to believe the stories about men and MILs, simply that there is usually a 100% acceptance of such stories because they suit a narrative.

Why are you are so protective over Mumsnet, its just a forum.

This is the third thread that I've seen you on about people not being nice. Italy accident and overtaking disabled people being the other two.

I didnt know Zuckerburg was misogynistic🙄

Yes I fully agree 💚

YANBU OP. I recently saw the followng posted elsewhere, and I instantly thought of MN, and the way many threads usually go.

OP: “I’m going to eat an X biscuit from X supermarket”
—-
The replies:

“But I don’t like biscuits! ”
“You shouldn’t eat that type of biscuit, you should eat this type of biscuit instead”
“Biscuits are bad for you”
"I don't believe you actually have a biscuit"
“Allow me to educate you about biscuits. You probably don’t know this but…”
“You should make your own biscuits instead”
“I just had some vegetables from my vegetable garden, much better than biscuits!”
“I’m better than you at eating biscuits”
“Fake!”
“Wrong!”
“I actually did my PHD on biscuits so I’m more qualified than you to talk about biscuits”
“Alright for some!!! Some of us can’t afford biscuits!!!”
“Why is this important?”
“That’s not how you spell biskuits”
“My great grandmother actually invented biscuits”
“No, sorry, I do not want diabetes thank you very much. Do you have diabetes? I bet you have diabetes.”
“How are you not dead?”
"How old are you?/I hope you don't have kids."
“Unfollowed”
“Where can I buy biscuits please?” (It’s written in the post, and the answer is “all supermarkets”)
“What are these biscuits called?” <it’s also written in the post>
“Processed rubbish!!!!! ”
“Do you mean cookies?”
“I’m not reading all that”
“I haven’t eaten biscuits since I saw a YouTube video about biscuits and saw they’re made with horse poo”
“I haven’t eaten a biscuit since being diagnosed with gout in 1972”
“Recipe please”
“That’s not a biscuit, it’s a cake, there was a famous court case that said…”
“I know this is meant to be a lighthearted post about biscuits, but I’m going to talk about something incredibly serious and off-topic instead…”
“So?”
“I find this post offensive”
“Why?”
“No banana for scale?”
“Where is the plate from please?”
“You need to get out more / You must lead a very sheltered life”
“Biscuits were better in my day”
“Oh I love biscuits! Great post! Thank you! Love your post!”

People are pack animals. If one person says something negative, it often snowballs into plain nastiness and they then try and outdo each other in their condemnation.

@EasternEcho I saw it too and thought the same thing!

I love the Very British Problems Instagram page.

This post doesn't even make sense. It was women posting in the comments. Zuckerburg doesn't control what everyone writes on Facebook. I've had a school Mum having a go at me on Facebook and I'm pretty confident she doesn't know Zuckerburg.

Ridiculous post.

I'm not protective over MN, just pointing out that Facebook is a hive of racism and misogyny. Which is presumably why you're commenting here and not FB.

Are you saying I called out people for not being nice on the Italy accident thread and for overtaking disabled people? What's wrong with that?

In the olden days -maybe 2008 _ many fewer posters so an interesting thread could have 5 contributions one day, none the next then some more with the OP and posters having time to think, change their minds, whatever.

Now there are thousands of posters- some not genuine, some misogynists, some men, some teens.

All in all for the number of posters the advice and support is good.
But I have no probs ignoring idiots.

You don't think it's Facebok's responsibility to delete racist and misogynistic comments? And you don't realise that the ultimate decision on that comes from Zuckerburg?

What on earth are you talking about? Sadworld didn't start a thread on Facebook so how could I have posted on there.

I think you are on a one woman crusade to defend not very nice people.

Erm, you can report posts on Facebook. I know people who have been banned from Facebook.

You said I posted about people not being nice but you don't seem to want to give any specifics?

You can report posts but they don't get deleted very often. Same as Twitter/X.

Aldo is it only AIBU? Or the whole site? I’ll admit I only read AIBU as they are always trending, don’t go looking for threads but just read what’s on trending

@Sadworld I mostly visit AIBU, but there are other parts of Mumsnet I visit often which are nowhere near as combative and often are people genuinely trying to help.

I like the Food and recipes board. Also the Holidays and UK Holidays.

Oh and from about October onwards the Christmas forum. Don't visit there if you are a Grinch as it is a haven for people who love prepping for Christmas.

Edited to include Crafts and Books. Oh and 10+ years ago when DD was about to go to Uni the Higher Education threads made interesting reading. I remember a thread where someone asked what their DC should take to Uni for the first time that became hilarious reading.