To be fuming DH left our 8yo to supervise the baby while he mowed the lawn??

[Erisheck]

So I popped to the shop earlier, only meant to be ten mins. Left DH at home with DCs.

Come back to find DH out the back mowing the lawn, all very pleased with himself. Meanwhile he had apparently told our 8yo DD to “keep an eye on” the baby while he did it. Baby is 16 months.

I walked in to find baby in the living room COVERED in biro scribbles. Face, arms, even a bit on her sleepsuit. DD said she was “playing schools” and DH thinks it is hilarious.

I do not. I am SO angry. Yes baby is fine but that is not the point. What if she had choked on a pen lid. What if she had fallen. An 8yo is a CHILD not a babysitter.

DH is saying I am overreacting and that it was “only 15 minutes.” I think he has lost his mind.

AIBU to be this furious?

i think you’ve got your anger the wrong way round. DH was fine. DD8 should definitely have known better.

Mine was more than fine to watch his toddler sibling for a few minutes at 8yo. Certainly would have known better than to draw (or let the toddler draw) everywhere. But it's only a bit of pen, not the end of the world, will wash off.
I'm assuming a normal suburban garden, in which case should be pretty easy to flag dad down for help....
But if DH knows your 8yo isn't capable of this, he shouldn't have left them together.
Nobody needs to be "fuming" with anyone though...

Why are you NOT cross with your 8 year old? They've misbehaved atrociously

I don't see this as any different to you popping up for a shower. How noisy is your mower?!

You should be able to trust an 8 year old to keep an eye on a toddler for a few mins while a parent does a task in the house or garden.

You are totally over the top. And the fact that you arent concerned your 8yr old is drawing all over the baby is very weird.

I was getting my wee brothers up and ready for school at 9.

Your 8 year old should have known better than to draw all over the baby.

How’s it any different to you having a shower?

Ok wow lots of strong opinions here.

Just to clarify again I am NOT “fine” with DD drawing on the baby but she honestly thought she was being helpful. She was “teaching” her letters. She is still a child herself, and I don’t think it’s fair to pile blame on her when the adult in charge literally chose to hand over responsibility.

And yes I really do think it’s different to me going for a shower. When I shower I can still hear bumps, crying, shouting. The mower is SO loud and DH had headphones on as well. He couldn’t have heard a thing.

Maybe “furious” was too strong but I am still very cross. It just feels like DH doesn’t take it seriously, and that is what is winding me up most. It’s always a joke with him when it comes to stuff like this.

I just don’t think an 8yo should ever be left in sole charge of a toddler, even for 10 mins. That’s my hill on this one.

My Late BF was cooking entire Sunday dinners at 8yo. If your 8 year old can’t watch a 16m old while Dad mows the lawn there’s something wrong imo.

I disagree with the majority that said it was fine to leave 8yo to supervise the baby. And 'keep an eye on' is such a vague instruction to leave the child.

An 8 year old won't be savvy to all the potential dangers to a 16 month old.

I'm all for risk aware over risk adverse, but DH couldn't defer cutting the grass for 10 minutes?

Shocked at how many people think it's fine to leave an 8 year old in charge of a toddler with no adult in the house! I'd be furious with him, why couldn't he wait until you got back from the shops?! He'd not have heard if either of the kids got into difficulty in the house would he while he was out in the garden while the lawnmower was on. They were completely out of his range of hearing and sight.

Then you shouldn’t leave them while you have a shower.

at 8 your child knows that the only place to draw is on paper. She did not think that was helping. Unless she draws all over her classmates in school?

If you leave your 8-year-old with the baby while you're in the shower (where you won't be able to hear much and won't be able to race downstairs quickly) then I don't think you can blame your husband. It's clear that you've trusted the 8-year-old to behave when alone with the baby in the past. So what's with the biro treatment now?

It's natural to panic a bit when seeing the baby covered in ink. I hope once you've got things sorted out and the scribbles removed, you'll calm down and see that you need to be just as annoyed with your daughter (barring learning difficulties, an 8-year-old will know that it's not acceptable to scribble on a baby) as your husband.

I wouldn’t leave an 8 year old in charge of a baby at all.
8 year old should know better than to draw on a baby
your dh is an arse. He’s probably hoping if he parents poorly less will be expected of him

I have a 15 month old and a 6, almost 7 year old. When my DH is at work, my DS keeps an eye on his baby sister whilst I shower with the door open. Everyone is upstairs, and she toddles around happily playing with or around my son.
He has NEVER felt the need to scribble on his sister. He's amazing and keeps her entertained or will play with his toys whilst keeping a close eye on her. However, I always shut my bedroom door and there are no choking hazards in either of the kids' rooms at this point. My son only gets smaller toys out when his door is closed and his sister is shut out.

Your daughter has misbehaved imo.

Not much point on posting to AIBU if you've already decided.

Our washing machine's spin cycle is loud enough to drown out shouting, and so is the kettle if I'm stood right next to it.

OP also says she disappears off for a shower and leaves her 8yo "in charge" - if that's acceptable, then so is her DH going off to mow the lawn. I mean, I wouldn't hear someone yelling if I was in the shower, especially if my head was under the water and I was washing my hair.

Not the 8 year olds fault: they are a child

Your DH, however

🫨

Just to clarify again I am NOT “fine” with DD drawing on the baby but she honestly thought she was being helpful

Really? She's eight, not three. She should know better and she should be getting a telling off for her behaviour.

You won’t hear choking though and that was your issue with the mowing.

I don’t think you can be okay about leaving the children unattended to shower but not for other activities where you also can’t hear.

No developmentally normal eight year old thinks it’s helpful to draw on a sibling.

You are over-reacting, sorry

You can't say it's ok for you to be in the shower, but not for your DH to be in the garden. How much land have you got? If it's an estate maybe, but a bog-standard garden you are being ridiculous.

Your 8 yo should be able to stop a sibling from scribbling everywhere, or at least call her dad for help. What's her excuse for doing nothing?

Your house should be child-proof enough with a toddler by now. If there's anything that dangerous you think an adult must keep an eye on your 1 year old at all time, you really need to address that.

I cannot believe people are focusing on the biro scribbling here

That's really not the issue!

Your baby, and 8 year old had a lucky escape

Neither of you should be leaving the baby with an 8 year old to cut the grass or to shower.

You’re a 2 parent family and there’s no reason to do this.
Time the grass cutting and showers so that the other parent can look after them or they’re both in bed.

The 8 year old acted naughty and should be told to not do it again but the blame lies with the parent in charge, which was DH.

Why aren’t you “blaming dd at all”? An 8 year old knows that it’s not ok to draw all over someone else and the average 8 year old would have taken the pen off the baby if it was the baby doing the drawing and told the parent that baby drew on themselves so that they weren’t in trouble.

Lucky escape from what?

😂 😂 😂