To be fuming DH left our 8yo to supervise the baby while he mowed the lawn??

[Erisheck]

So I popped to the shop earlier, only meant to be ten mins. Left DH at home with DCs.

Come back to find DH out the back mowing the lawn, all very pleased with himself. Meanwhile he had apparently told our 8yo DD to “keep an eye on” the baby while he did it. Baby is 16 months.

I walked in to find baby in the living room COVERED in biro scribbles. Face, arms, even a bit on her sleepsuit. DD said she was “playing schools” and DH thinks it is hilarious.

I do not. I am SO angry. Yes baby is fine but that is not the point. What if she had choked on a pen lid. What if she had fallen. An 8yo is a CHILD not a babysitter.

DH is saying I am overreacting and that it was “only 15 minutes.” I think he has lost his mind.

AIBU to be this furious?

Agree with Pp, an 8yo doing this would be my main concern.

I don’t think an 8yo being in the house with a 16 month old for 10/15 mins while you’re in the garden is a massive issue. I would have been able to leave DS with my DD.

These reads very similarly to that thread a little while back in that the (around) 8 year old child had drawn all over the radiators and OP didn't feel that was strange.

I don’t think YABU because clearly the eight year in question is irresponsible. Typically, it would be fine to leave an eight year old with a toddler for quarter of an hour.

Agree with all the others- I’d be angry at 8 year old, not my husband here.

Why does an 8 year old not know better than to draw on a toddler?

The 8 year old has a part to play in this too. It could have been worse.

The 8 year old knew better really. Did she give the baby the pen or draw on the baby herself?

Does your garden take 15 mins to mow? If it’s 15 mins then he’s not unreasonable. Lots of mums would pop out to hang washing or do other quick jobs like that.

In case of emergency I’d expect 8 year old to open the front door and fetch daddy.

I'm with your DH. It was a slightly odd choice of job with children in the house but I would expect an 8 year old to keep an eye on a toddler.

Is your 8 year old normally this silly?

Is the the pen the end of the world or a bit annoying?

We have a very open plan downstairs but if I’m washing up my back is the the front room/play area. I will ask my 3 year old to tell me if baby crawls off mat towards the pram (the only thing I need him to stay away from!) I turn round frequently, of course, but trust my 3 year old to call me and she does… your 8 year old should be able to be in a safe room with baby alone and call dad if necessary…

Id happily leave my baby to be supervised in the play room at my in laws with cousins 8 and 10. I’m in shouting distance, as is your husband.

I think its odd so many people would leave a 16 month old essentially alone.
8 year olds are to young to be responsible for a younger child.
If a nursery worker or teacher said. Oh I left your toddler with a 8 year old whist I was in the next classroom . Would you be ok with that? Would you trust the toddler wouldn't get chance to eat something they could choke on. Or hurt themselves in some way ?
Would a 8 year old have the ability to watch them none stop and spot any dangers before they happened. Without themselves getting distracted with something else.
The dad cant have only been a couple of minutes. It takes much longer to set up a lawn mower and actually cut grass then a few minutes.

YABU

OP doesn’t state 8yo drew on sibling, they could have given the pen to sibling to play school (in my mind this sounds more likely)

However choking can be silent, I know my 9yo wouldn’t spot it not other potential risks. An 8yo shouldn’t be responsible for such a young sibling

I'm with you tbh, OP, though it does depend on the 8yo. I think 15 mins is a long time to leave a small child in charge of another very small child unsupervised whilst you're in the garden and can't hear what's going on. It's not the same as being in the kitchen and periodically poking your head around to check. An 8 year old isn't mature enough to truly think about some risks e.g. risk of choking on small parts, risks of banged heads from roughhousing, etc.

Actually drawing on your baby? Or did they give the pen to baby and they did it to themselves?

@Starlight7080 IMO, if an 8yo can't be trusted to supervise their toddler sibling for a few minutes, then you have much bigger problems.

8yo's where I live play out unsupervised, take their bikes to the park and even walk to the shops without an adult. I often see groups of children that age in Tesco buying sweets with their pocket money.

What happens in a nursery setting is irrelevant, really.

I wouldn't leave an 8yo supervising a 16 month old while I was completely out of earshot for 15 minutes. It's a huge responsibility and if they get it wrong, it doesn't bear thinking about!

I agree that 8 year olds can watch a toddler for a couple of minutes while you nip to the loo or whatever, but this was different.

So my DS was 6 and DD was a year old, I’d have to leave them together to get a shower pretty much every day…. There was no other way, stair gates on and instructions to come find me if anything was needed…..
needs must and it was fine… they are both 10 and 6 now!
He never drew all over her though? DD would have drawn a little bit on herself if she got hold of a pain. But such is life.
if hubbie had done it to cut the grass then that would be fine too

The 8yo wasn't responsible - the dad was only in the garden. Do you really never leave a 16 month old alone for a few minutes in their own home while you pop into a different room?

What was so important that the lawn couldn't have waited until you got home?

I would be angry with my DH because an 8 year old with a child this young is not OK.

I would also be angry with my 8 year old who should know better than let the baby colour itself all over.

It didn't need to wait, though - that's the point. At 8yo, a child should be trusted to supervise a toddler for a few minutes.

There are 8 year olds that would be more capable then many adults and others that I wouldn't leave unattended with a pot plant.

I presumed the toddler drew on themselves while the 8yr old was trying to play schools..ok 8 yr old should have stopped them but a NT 8yr old should be fine to be left in charge for a few minutes.

Absolutely no problem with a sensible 8 year old as long as it was only 10-15 minutes though

your 8 year old is not sensible though.

How is “popping into another room for a few minutes” comparable to going outside and mowing the lawn for 15? The sound of the lawnmower could easily drown out any shouting or god forbid screaming.

What is wrong with your 8 year old? Don't see your DH has done much wrong here, an 8 year old should be able to look after the baby for a few minutes.