To be fuming DH left our 8yo to supervise the baby while he mowed the lawn??

[Erisheck]

So I popped to the shop earlier, only meant to be ten mins. Left DH at home with DCs.

Come back to find DH out the back mowing the lawn, all very pleased with himself. Meanwhile he had apparently told our 8yo DD to “keep an eye on” the baby while he did it. Baby is 16 months.

I walked in to find baby in the living room COVERED in biro scribbles. Face, arms, even a bit on her sleepsuit. DD said she was “playing schools” and DH thinks it is hilarious.

I do not. I am SO angry. Yes baby is fine but that is not the point. What if she had choked on a pen lid. What if she had fallen. An 8yo is a CHILD not a babysitter.

DH is saying I am overreacting and that it was “only 15 minutes.” I think he has lost his mind.

AIBU to be this furious?

I think your 8yo should know better than to draw all over their sibling.

I also don't think your DH did anything drastically wrong - he was only in the garden.

Agree with PP. would be more concerned about 8 year old behaviour than anything else here.

I'd be pretty annoyed with my 8 year old - that's definitely old enough to know better.

He should be able to leave them for a few minutes.

Your 8 year old should know a lot better than to draw on anyone or anything other than paper!

I think your dh was reasonable.

At 8 years old we looked after our younger siblings or cousins with no issue. The 8 yo should know better!!

an eight year old knows not to draw on their sibling. Where did they find a pen?
providing the children were safe then a few mins to get on with chores is ok
otherwise how would anyone get anything done

I can't see the problem.

Your 8 year old would worry me a bit.

That said, I wouldn't have had pens in the same room as a baby and my kids at eight would have known NEVER to draw on a baby!

Your 8yo is the problem here. I leave my 8yo with his baby cousin and they're fine.

Did your 8 year old draw on the baby (bad) or give the pen to the baby who drew on herself (worse)? I think an 8 year old should know better to be honest and should be able to watch a baby for 15 minutes if Dad is in the garden.

I agree with this, what on earther was your 8 yo doing? That is not normal behaviour for that age.

This is the beauty of a bigger age gap, the older sibling can watch the younger one

I have an 8yo and honestly couldn't imagine her scribbling all over a baby.

Is this usual behaviour for her? If so your dh was unreasonable leaving the baby with her.

Definitely seems more like a badly behaved 8 year-old problem than a husband problem, though of course the onus for that sits with both of you!!

I have a 9 yr old he wouldnt have done that last year. Weird.

I can’t believe an 8 year old would think it’s ok to scribble on a baby. I’d trust my 5 year old with his baby brother more than that

Your 8 year old has been naughty. That's what you need to deal with, rather than 'fuming' at your husband.

I know lots of people on AIBU like to be performatively laid back, but you can't leave an 8 year old to look after a baby while you're outside and completely incapable of hearing any shouts if there's a problem!
Maybe to leave them alone while you're doing something in the house is one thing, but this is not that.

I don’t agree with the majority, I wouldn’t leave an 8 year old to watch a small baby, far too risky and anything can happen. I’d be livid with my husband as well!

Yabu.

Your husband was only in the garden. An 8 year old should be able to appropriately play with a toddler without an adult in the same room.

Had an emergency happened, your husband was there to deal with it.

Depends on the eight year old. If they’re mature enough to know to run for dad if something happened to the baby, then I wouldn’t have a problem. If they’re not then I may be furious.

Admittedly your child sounds in the latter category, unless this is out of character for them. If they’re always like this then you’re NBU

It’s fine, it’s not like DH had gone out.

But the behaviour of the 8yr old is a bit odd.

My living room looks onto the back garden, which might be colouring my views.

I think what your DH did was reasonable. Your 8yo I’d be furious with.

You seem to be babying your children beyond what they need. I’d consider an 8yo old enough to know better, and I’d consider a 16mo old a toddler not a baby.

It's not being "performatively laid back" to say an 8yo should be able to watch a toddler for a few minutes without any drama

The garden could have been 10m away - no different from popping to the loo or the kitchen, or upstairs.

I read it as the baby drew on themselves, not that the 8 year old did it? In which case the 8 year old was silly but its not the end of the world! Dad was in the garden, its only like being in the next room.