Husband booked a holiday I said I didn’t want to go on

[Catty6516]

Hello. Just looking for an outside opinion as I’m in my head about something and not sure if I’m being unreasonable

A while back a discussion came up about holidays next year and my husband really wanted to go to disney world in Florida.

Although I love Disney I said I don’t want to go next year. For a number of reasons really. We’re having some big work done on our house this autumn which is obviously costly.
also we went to Disney Paris last year and whilst we had a good time overall I really wouldn’t say that my kids were that enthralled with it (particularly my youngest whose behaviour wasn’t great whilst we were there) and so the thought of going for two weeks when it’s also going to be really hot and humid (August) just didn’t really appeal to me.
like I said I love Disney and it definitely wasn’t a never want to go but just not at the moment. I was happy to wait until the girls are a little older and maybe we will get more from it as it really such an expensive holiday.

anyway he has gone and booked it without consulting me. Well the deposit anyway. its cause tension as I feel betrayed that he’s just not listened to be or even discussed it further and just gone ahead. So now I feel backed into a corner as if we are to cancel we will lose hundreds of pounds.

He has said that he will fund the trip as he has more financial means, however my concern here is that although that will cover the holiday and a basic meal package (which obviously I would be very grateful for) I do still think it is the type of holiday that you need quite a bit saved up for and I don’t feel in a comfortable position for it at all.

he just doesn’t get it as he says he’s paying what am I moaning about but think it’s more the fact that he’s done something specifically said I don’t want to do. But now he’s making me the bad guy ‘mummy doesn’t want to go’ saying things like him and my eldest will just go on there own. Throwing things in my face like ‘fine we will just stay here and do nothing’ which is ridiculous and we do loads of nice trips and holidays (UK/europe) he just seems to have it in his head that is Florida or nothing.

like I said I’m so grateful that this is a possibility for us but just think it’s maybe a greater problem that’s been brought to the surface through this.

any outside perspective would be good. Thanks xxx

My idea of hell tbh all the waiting around in the heat. My dd can’t bear the heat though so I know it would be a terrible idea. I don’t like it either if someone tries to control me to that degree.

Call his bluff and let him organise it for just him and kids.

If he goes ahead, enjoy the peace safe in the knowledge he'll never make that mistake again after full time single parenting for a fortnight.

It’s hurricane season in August too. Risky with the weather. (We live in Florida). Disney is lovely however not in that heat with children.

American here. I live in Southern California (about a 20-minute drive away from the original Disneyland), but my sister goes to Disney World in Florida quite often with her friend, her friend's kids, and her friend's grandkids (friend lives with us, but all her kids and grandkids live in Florida.)

Florida - and specifically Disney World - is a LIVING NIGHTMARE in August.

Most non-Americans (and a lot of Americans!) forget that Florida is considered "the South".... which, in America, means it's hot, humid, and absolutely TEEMING with biting insects during the summer months... and August is ABSOLUTELY still summer in the South. (Heck, it's the same where I live - almost September and we're having a nasty heatwave with temps around 29C!)

Right now in Orlando the weather app says it's 30.5C and "feels like" 34C. Humidity is 67% but it's nasty, stuffy humidity - like the humidity in East Asian countries.

In addition to how godawful nasty it feels, remember that EVERYONE ELSE is going to Disney World in the summer, since it's school holidays for the kiddos. So both Americans and foreign tourists will be cramming theme parks as hard as they can. A lot of schools in America don't start until September, so parents want to cram in those last-minute holiday trips.

My sister's gone to DW in the summer with her friend/friend's kids and has said that some days they only get to ride two or three rides, because they're in line for HOURS. And ditto getting meals/food at the eateries - even with reservations in advance, you might still be waiting up to an hour to be seated and served at the restaurants at DW. (After that trip, my sister's friend's family swore to never go to DW in the summer again. They generally go around Christmas or in January these days.)

And don't forget that Disney World is GINORMOUS - does your DH have any plan in regards to that? There's no way to see/visit all of DW in a single trip (unless you're staying for several weeks) and it's all so huge that the kids will get tired out and cranky easily.

If you think your DH would listen to reason, you can tell him that you've spoken with someone who knows people who live in Florida, have small children themselves, and all have annual passes to Disney World - and THOSE people STILL don't go to DW in the summer if they can help it.

Personally I would be miserable if my 2 kids went off on a 2 week holiday with their dad and I missed out seeing them enjoy a place like Disney.

As with the majority of threads on here, you have a DH problem and a communication problem within your relationship. If it is genuinely a trip you want to go on, can you voice your concerns again and discuss postponing?

You opting out seems like a lose lose for everyone in my opinion.

Put the kids first and go. But there’s definitely something else going on here. Have you asked him why he thought it was a good idea to book without discussing it?
As it happens we were there in August. 30 plus every day, no storms apart from one bit of heavy rain but it was all ok. We were on site had the full meal package with cups to refill. Loads of water fountains. We have a joint pot for everything and booked a good deal with an agent. Suggest you re think your finances and share more. If he won’t, find out why.

God, I hate Disney You've already been once & the DC didn't really enjoy it.
Your H is a fool.
Tell him he unilaterally decided, in spite of you already saying you didn't want to go again (at least not yet)
Tell him to take eldest & enjoy Florida in August.... not.
You are not a carpet

I’ve literally just got back from Disneyland in Florida, we were there for 2 weeks and It was amazing, I really didn’t want to go initially either.
Yes it did rain at times but just take ponchos and it’s fine.
Yes it’s boiling hot but so is everywhere in August (the rain actually helps bring the temperature down)
If you have dining plan you really don’t need much spending money at all, only tips and souvenirs.
The queues weren’t too bad either, 1 hour at the very max and if you plan it right and get in the parks either early in the morning or in the evening the queues are even better.
I’d just go for it and you and the kids will have an amazing, unforgettable time

Sorry he has done this to you but it does sound like he’s not going to backdown he’s being really selfish because it’s something he wants to do and he might be paying but he’s done a deal to save money going in a month you don’t want to and are worried about. Does he has form for ignoring you? I would say if you go and he ever holds it over just throw it back in his face. Just say don’t go there I never wanted to go in the first place you done this so don’t ever remind me again that you paid. From now on all holidays are agreed in advance or you take the kids without me and I will do something I want to do.

@GoldenNuggets08 what part of the ‘communication problem’ here was due to OP?

This was her H’s unilateral decision.

I would be so angry, August is so hot in Florida, humid and rainy.

You husband was obviously wrong to go ahead and book without consulting you but I thought I'd just say we've been 3 times in August and the weather is ok. We even went to Disney on the morning of a hurricane and it was fine! We've had a 4 and 2 year old on the first trip, then a 6 and 4 year old and then a 11 and 9 year old. If is very hot but lots of drinks and cooling towels. Air con is everywhere and a lot of the rides have air con queues. It rains a lot but also dries up very quickly. Just get wet.

On a separate issue, all money should be seen as joint regardless of account. That is a bigger problem in my opinion.

@Catty6516 stand your ground and don’t go . Your reasons are spot on tbh. Especially finances .

If he is reasonable then change the date to 2027/28 day so it shows your not saying no altogether . He wasn’t being reasonable though ignoring you so maybe let him take the hit to the pocket or change to another destination through the same agent if possible .

I did Disney second half of August last year. I did Universal second half of August the year prior.

I wouldn’t worry too much about hurricane season tbh. The heat is however like holidaying in Hell.

Universal I feel is way better organised to cope with the heat. Better drinks system, more shade (and actually is just cheaper).

Disney has less shade and more difficult to get affordable fluids. I hated Disney. We bailed a few days to go back swimming.

Disney doesn’t have huge rides really, that’s more Universal, so if your kids aren’t into rides they will have TONs there. My son (8) hated Disney Vs Universal as he said it was pretty boring. He wanted the thrill rides.

Second half of August is much quieter crowd wise than the first half as most US schools go back mid-August, so worth factoring that in. You couldn’t pay be to go before mod-August, that sun with double the crowds - no chance.

That aside your DH can’t go booking major family holidays without your agreement. I would be furious if my husband did that. You’ve every right to be cross.

How about a compromise - he goes by himself to suss it out and report back and re-book it for you all another time. You and the kids can chill at home while he flys to a hot humid hell hole for a week! Maybe he’ll even get a hurricane if he’s lucky!

The weather in August is so hot as due to Hurricane season, all wind is being sucked towards tropical waves etc. This season is June to november, with August and september being hottest. And that is if you are lucky, only the heat. If you are unlucky, tropical storms or even hurricanes can happen. For context, we live in the Caribbean, just outside the hurricane belt, but these months are dreadful, either torrent rains or so hot and humid that I am soaked within a few minutes of doing anything. Even airco can not always catch up. Last few years, it became more active hurricane seasons.

Hope he's not spending too much to go to Florida in hurricane season. Also 2 weeks, what are his other plans, assuming no hurricanes? There's loads to see and do and although it's definitely off peak and the weather won't be your friend, there might be something that appeals to you too.

Booking a holiday without you both sitting there in front of the computer though. I'd want to make a deal, like 100% my choice for the next one, same budget. And I wouldn't book a hurricane destination!

I’ve been a couple of times last two weeks of August and it’s fine, we acclimatised very quickly, it did rain for about an hour most afternoon’s, hadn’t really planned at all, got on all the rides we wanted.

We last year end sept / oct , got caught up in the hurricane, Disney handled everything perfectly, characters and entertainment in the hotel , plus they very kindly extended my unused tickets until this year.

you can also get water and ice from the freestyle machines

@Katebridgerton25 I'm sold, sounds amazing, sadly can't afford it but a lovely post with useful advice for anyone thinking of the trip.
OP what if its something your DH really wants to do, like a bucket list thing?
Whilst perhaps not comfortable for you I think the littles might enjoy it if you follow the tips on here.

Sounds like DH can fund the extras, you just need to persuade him he has to. Leverage for me would be, OK we'll go but there has to be a family slush fund for meals etc which DH will top up as needed.
You both look at the passes and food packages and he gets to pay for them up front. You'll have enough to do sorting packing etc he can be grateful for all that and you can be grateful kids get a, hopefully, lovely holiday.

And next year, he'll let you choose, maybe lol.

Did he book direct with Disney or through a travel agent? Because Disney will actually refund your deposit if you call and ask.

Personally I think your husband has tried to do something to be nice. If he’s like mine, he’s a simple man and has heard half a conversation and thought I’ll try and do something as a family to be nice. Florida is a fantastic experience and doesn’t compare to Disneyland.

I’d give benefit of the doubt and have an open conversation to understand his perspective. He’s saying things to the kids because he’s hurting from trying to do something nice. Just my opinion.

Honestly you wouldn’t pay me to go there. I’d rather the caravan in Margate. YANBU

I can understand why you feel that way. Tbh, I could probably get over it if DH was paying, the weather thing doesn’t sound ideal though.

If he's paying and has already paid a deposit then I would go and make the best of it. I'm sure his intentions were good and that's what really matters. I doubt he booked it to be controlling or spiteful. He probably has a vision of a happy once in a lifetime family holiday to Disney Florida.

Ooh hurricane season