Am I being a spoilt brat here?

[alittlebitlessofme]

Family member discovered recently that I am having private treatment for a condition I have which isn’t covered by the NHS. The cost of which has become increasingly difficult as I’m already on a low income.

Said family member has recently come into some money. They offered to pay some money towards my treatment. I accepted. Then few days later said individual sends message to say they have sent equal amount of money to other family members to have fun with. Other family members all have significantly higher household income.

Am I being a complete brat feeling a bit sad about this? My money was specifically for something which is rather unpleasant however necessary. Not for fun. Meanwhile family members who don’t have to deal with anything like the same challenges are rewarded with money they don’t need.

The issue I’m dealing with already makes me
incredibly self conscious and has singled me out from childhood as being different. At the moment I still feel like the child who was punished for being like this

Your messages on here get more and more cryptic. You are clearly only willing to give part of a story to try and justify your feelings , and there is a long backstory

You feel how you feel about this.

However, that doesn't take away from the fact that your relative has done a very kind thing in giving you money for your treatment. Them giving money to others in your family, does not take away from that so try and focus on that.

Hi OP, you sound like you're in a bad place and arguing with strangers on AIBU probably won't make you feel any better.

Stepping away from this thread might be the best thing to do x

Are you a sibling group and the incident happened when you were all children? was there any malicious intent to what they did?

I don’t understand how someone could build a career of an accident so bad it left another member of their family disabled for life?

I can’t give the full story. It would be extremely outing and could have wider implications. I have given about as much context as I can without making the situation too identifiable.

Because that was the intention of the money. They probably didn't think of it the way you're thinking of it. A bit tone-deaf, maybe.

I think your relative wanted to do something nice for you, and felt that it would be fair to give some money to other family members, to make things equal, rather than you being punished to be fair - this is how my mind would work.

Indirectly. It put us in contact with people through whom other opportunities have arisen for said individual.
And you know what I don’t even begrudge them that either. They have worked hard for what they have too. It’s more that they have never stopped to consider how my life was impacted. They have never apologised for what they did.

I’m not willing to state the exact relationship but we were all under 18 yes. I was significantly younger than the rest of them who were all 10 years or more older.

Very cryptic. This thread could easily derail into a game of guessing what is wrong with the OP providing clues.

So they were teens and you were younger?

and there was a tragic accident over 40 years ago that left you severely disabled for life? And even though you blame them you never sued anyone for what happened?

didn’t any of you have parents? Wouldn’t they have been deemed negligent?

were there any criminal charges?

And even though you use a mobility scooter you’re not entitled to any PIP or benefits? Why not? PIP isn’t means tested and there are a multitude of organisations that can assist with applications. Although if you are over retirement age you can’t get pip but you can get attendance allowance.

Yep, mine are the same. My brother is always struggling with money, but made different choices to me. We both had the same start in life, the same support, the same opportunities. I have a disability which limits how much I can work, but I have worked hard within my limits and am stable financially.
When my parents were giving us some money, I suggested he needed it more than me. Parents very clear it should be equal and my brother agreed "you shouldn't get less than me just because you worked hard and made smart choices'. Like you, we always tell them to 'keep it and enjoy it', but of course, they give it to us anyway, and I'm very grateful for that

It's not always six sessions, that's just the starting point/minimum, and towards end they evaluate if need another 6, and then so on. I agree with you counselling sometimes make things worse initially by opening the can of worms, and then eventually feel much better, but I does take time. I think I got about 15, 5 then took a break to see how I was doing, and then went back for a few more a few months later when I felt myself falling into old patterns of negative thinking, and then a break again, and then 1 final 'check in' when we agreed together that I didn't need it anymore. I had a fabulous psychologist on the nhs who got me through a very difficult time (PTSD). It does vary by area, but definitely look into it.

I don’t use a mobility scooter all the time, just long walks.
Im not prepared to go into the ins and outs of what happened.

It is six sessions here. No more. If you need more you go back on the waiting list.

Because it was a gift to them. They can choose to spend it anyway they want. I don’t know why you are so hung up on other people getting money.

This. Do you believe it was an accident or deliberate?
Also can't figure out how the one you blame has now made a successful career out of their role in injuring you?