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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sister went nuts over a cup of coffee

509 replies

CrashBambiCoot · 24/08/2025 14:19

my sister visits my house around 3 times a week. Every time she comes she takes the piss out of my coffee calling it “half a cup of coffee” etc

She last visited Friday where I made her a coffee and she snapped “oh come on, fill it up for fucks sake” saying I’d only half filled the mug (I hadn’t).

This morning she turns up. I make coffee, as I was taking it into the living room she looks into the mugs and screams “half a cup of coffee”. I snap back “I don’t fill it to the top so it doesn’t get spilled! Nobody fills coffee right to the top” so she started dancing around me acting crazy shouting “ooo don’t spill it” etc before suddenly lunging at me and shouting in my face - coffee got spilt.

Now I’ve said I’m not making her coffee anymore. That’s it. Sick of the piss taking and ranting and raving. DH witnessed all this and basically joined in with her. She’s 42, DH is 50.

its not normal to fill coffee right to the top is it??? And the hysterics is certainly not normal is it?

OP posts:
WhereIsMyJumper · 24/08/2025 14:45

I don’t think it makes a blind bit of difference if you’re right about not filling the coffee to the top or not. What does matter is your sister treating you like shit in your own house after you’ve just made her a drink and your DH joining in…

LadyQuackBeth · 24/08/2025 14:47

It's the kind of stupid fall out that happens in families, normal probably lies halfway between how empty you're leaving it and how full she wants it.

Maybe get some bigger mugs/cups so you can give people more coffee without worrying about them being over full.

Astrabees · 24/08/2025 14:51

Of course she is being unreasonable but it is one of my bugbears that I just hate it when I get half a cup of coffee. It is usually when someone uses a cafetiere and tries to make it go round too many people, FFS make another one quickly or make one earlier and put it in a flask, don't piss me off with half measures.

KTheGrey · 24/08/2025 14:53

The coffee is neither here nor there. Nobody should come into your house and shout at you or mock you. If she doesn’t like the way you pour coffee she can a) not have any coffee b) bring her own coffee c) go to a coffee shop or d) ask you nicely for more coffee when she has finished the first one.

She and your husband sound quite odd and rude.

Trovindia · 24/08/2025 14:53

Her behaviour was poor but I think she was trying to be joking with you.

Yabu for not filling the mug, my mum she's this and I have to go and top it up. I fill mugs to about 1.5-2cm below the rim, like this (I don't know why my tea is frothy!)

Sister went nuts over a cup of coffee
EmotionallyWeird · 24/08/2025 14:54

I don't like it when my mug isn't full enough, but I don't take the piss out of the person who made it, either ask for more water or just suck it up. It's very immature to make such a fuss about it and I would not be enabling it any more. If she wants coffee she can make her own.

KTheGrey · 24/08/2025 14:54

Astrabees · 24/08/2025 14:51

Of course she is being unreasonable but it is one of my bugbears that I just hate it when I get half a cup of coffee. It is usually when someone uses a cafetiere and tries to make it go round too many people, FFS make another one quickly or make one earlier and put it in a flask, don't piss me off with half measures.

Crumbs it’s hard to offer some people hospitality. I was brought up with ‘when in Rome’.

tomaskmckmac · 24/08/2025 14:56

it really does sound like she drinks waaaay too much coffee tbh. I'd advise decaf from now on

geoger · 24/08/2025 14:57

This is nuts!
I fill coffee and tea cups 0.5cm to 1cm from the top. I like a full cup and proper sized mug
Also, when I go to my sisters house or she comes to me we make our own (and each others) teas and coffees and have our mugs at each others houses. DH has certain way of having his coffee and always asks to make his own.
Next time - tho I’m not sure I would be inviting her over any time soon - let her make her own.

Glitchymn1 · 24/08/2025 14:59

Christ don’t come here, big mugs as I leave a significant gap. They can have as much as they want!
She sounds insane. Are you a clean freak op? Either way she was rude.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 24/08/2025 15:00

The unfilled cups sound annoying, and as an adult, I would be really irritated by the suggestion that I couldn't have a full cup because I might spill it. So I understand her annoyance.

But her reaction was fucking stupid, regardless of how full the cups were. Total overreaction and unacceptable behaviour on her part.

I wouldn't want her coming round again.

soupyspoon · 24/08/2025 15:00

Well I dont know to be honest.

I admit to having a bit of a fit at OH once because he fills things right to the brim, I mean right to the brim, he does it with everything and I wince when I see him doing this because he is incredibly clumsy anwyay

But, I have a disability in my hands, so I must have things filled quite low down, half a cup, perhaps just a smidge more. And he never remembered or bothered to do this so each bloody glass of something or cup of something I couldnt touch because instant spillage. And I snapped one time and had a massive go. Im sure I would have been seen that day as unhinged.

Obviously the context is completely different here, but sometimes we have our limits.

Arlanymor · 24/08/2025 15:01

KTheGrey · 24/08/2025 14:54

Crumbs it’s hard to offer some people hospitality. I was brought up with ‘when in Rome’.

Show quote history

As was I - who knew hot drink entitlement was a thing? But turns out it is!

I say that sitting here drinking a warm-ish cup of ginger tea because my lovely mam went to make me one and forgot the kettle had boiled because she was distracted by the cat. So I have a warm-ish cup of ginger tea - it's not horrible and if I wanted to top it up with hot water then I can get off my bum and do it.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 24/08/2025 15:02

I would never offer her a drink again. Problem solved.

(For the record I used to joke with colleagues who only gave me 3/4 of a cup of tea because they left space to put milk in but I don't take milk, but only to the extent of saying 'can I have a whole cup please?' and I'd top it up myself.)

GreenAndWhiteStripes · 24/08/2025 15:03

Just stop making her coffee and let her make her own. Not a big deal.

PlacidPenelope · 24/08/2025 15:04

Your DH joined in with her? Mine would have thrown her out of the door.

Never mind not making a coffee for her anymore she wouldn't be coming into my house again, she can make all the full cups of coffee of the brand she wants in her own home.

BeltaLodaLife · 24/08/2025 15:04

She sounds utterly mad, but also is your sister. Sometimes, no matter what age, you can fall back into being 6 years old and behaving like a child when you’re with a sibling. It does sounds very very odd though, but I guess she’s just snapped at this weird coffee situation.

I think what matters is how she usually is and how she behaves over other things? Is she generally mad/unhinged/unreasonable?

Your husband has no excuse though, to join in with sibling nonsense.

But also… could you make a coffee and show us a photo of how you make them? Enquiring minds want to know!

Enigma54 · 24/08/2025 15:05

Gosh, what immature dickish behaviour!
I can’t believe I’ve even read this! 🙈

whitewineandsun · 24/08/2025 15:06

WhereIsMyJumper · 24/08/2025 14:45

I don’t think it makes a blind bit of difference if you’re right about not filling the coffee to the top or not. What does matter is your sister treating you like shit in your own house after you’ve just made her a drink and your DH joining in…

Agree! It's not really about the coffee, is it?

MorrisonsPlatter · 24/08/2025 15:07

Was it mellow Birds?

Thebigonesgetaway · 24/08/2025 15:09

The thing here is your husband agrees with her, which makes me think you’re under filling it and it’s one of those things that grates on them noth.

Lafufufu · 24/08/2025 15:09

Can you elaborate in the weirdest part of the post (as if the first half isnt enough) which is this bit

DH witnessed all this and basically joined in with her.

If it were me it would be a non issue as she wouldn't be back in my house.

Equally with my husband I wouldn't make him tea / any drinks or cook or wash anything for him for the foreseeable.
I'd want to grovelling apology and a big "sorry im a DH" (dickhead) present before any kind of normal service resumed

Wreckinball · 24/08/2025 15:10

Complete no need drama, put the coffee jar, spoon, mug, milk by the kettle and tell her to make her own- sorted

CoughCoughLaugh · 24/08/2025 15:10

I'm a bit on the fence with this and think you are both being unreasonable. I drink black coffee and it makes me sad when someone gives me a "short" cup because they take milk and I don't and they leave the same milk margin. I fill my mugs up to about half a centimetre from the top of the cup. If I had had a comment from a guest that my measures were short, I'd make sure I gave them a full cup next time. Never mind every time, three times a week! I think that might give me a tiny bit of the rage. So you are being unreasonable to continue to not give her a full cup. Unless there's a drip feed coming that if you fill her cup more than half full, she spills it everywhere.

On the other hand, she seems a bit crackers to go so over the top about it, she could just go and fill her cup up a bit more after rolling her eyes at you. Is she prone to crazy behaviour over small things or could she be thinking you are now doing this on purpose and it has tipped her over the edge?

Tortielady · 24/08/2025 15:11

I like a nice full mug myself, but it's beside the point really. What's very much to the point is your sister's atrocious behaviour and the way your DH took her side. My DH is a teddy-bear, but if my sister treated me like that under my own roof, her bottom would hit the pavement before you could say "one lump or two?"