Mothers who don't make their kids use headphones on trains

[Encrochat]

On a train from Edinburgh to London. 3 incidences of this in our carriage
why would this not occur to you?!
tell Your kids to turn it the fuxk down/ off or buy some headphones

The last flight we took had the screens on the back of the seats, they only worked with headphones and all the children managed fine.

Compared with a flight a few years ago with competing episodes of Peppa Pig etc from numerous tablets... that was hell. Couldn't wear earplugs etc as I was trying to parent my own children who weren't coping with the noise!

Those of us with older children have been through it too. Part of the reason I used to travel First Class on train with my children.. the peace and quiet so the one with noise sensitivity could relax.

Well, I never did that as a child. When was this 'past' you're talking about?

Believe it or not, parents used to be capable of keeping their children entertained/out of other travellers' hair without resorting to screens. And before anyone comes for me over that comment, I think the majority still are. But there always seems to be an inconsiderate minority who insist on making life miserable for others because they can't pronounce 'no'. (I'm not talking about instances where SEN/neurodiversity makes it more challenging for a child, obviously. I'm talking about those who simply can't be arsed parenting.)

Strange world you live in if you think parents teaching their kids to be considerate in public spaces is equivalent to North Korea.

What a bizarre post. My kids had car seats, but if we went on a train (which we frequently did) or a plane (which we did less frequently) I used to talk to them and take things for them to play with or to do. They would take their Nintendo DSs (like a Switch, but in the olden days 🙄) and play them with the volume turned off.

Hear hear. Stating that imposing a few rules on a child's behaviour is 'traumatising' for them is beyond ridiculous. So much defensiveness from certain posters on this thread, I wonder why? 🤔

Yes I fucking hate it and so does my daughter who has been taught that it's rude and inconsiderate (smug mum moment, not sorry). Anything involving phones in public and especially on public transport is rude as fuck. It's Trigger Happy TV mobile phone guy fucking everywhere.

Also I'm really surprised that public transport operators haven't bothered to do anything about it. Even having signs makes it much easier for people to pull other people up for it.

I can’t use headphones. Another thing you’ve made up.

DD is only 15. I don’t have a smartphone or iPad until quite late in the day. Living in London I travelled a lot on public transport with DD - every week to my mum’s which was 3 trains and 90 minutes from one side of town to the other.

We looked at books, had little figures she played with, had a sort of cushion tray she could put colouring or her figures in, looked out of the window, played games etc etc etc. it could be hard work. But there was no other option.

When I finally did get a smartphone the only thing she could look at was photos, which could keep her occupied for a little bit if the journey took longer than usual.

Even now she always has her AirPods on when using her phone out and about.

I have no doubt I’ve made as many mistakes as the next parent. But bringing my child up to know how inconsiderate volume without headphones in public is isn’t one of them.

Luckily it’s just a couple but we all know they’re the ones making journeys a misery for other passengers. It only takes one per carriage after all…

JFC.

No, having your children kick the back of people's seats and having them glued to a screen with the sound turned on are very definitely NOT the only options.

If your children can make do with colouring books the rest of the time then they can make do with colouring books the whole time. Or, you know, watch Paw Patrol with the sound OFF.

It's absolutely wild that you think you are respecting other people.

😀💕

This thread reminds of time I was in a pub garden, and there was a group on a table nearby who had a baby who was just about old enough to sit up alone. Baby was sat on the floor with an iPhone infront of them. The adults just ignored them.
Surely if your baby is awake, then you would have them on your lap, or would have them in their pushchair and you would be interacting with them... between chatting with the other adults there?
I thought it was sad that the baby was on a screen at such a young age.

It's not even like it's generations or eras ago anyway? My daughter is 10 and we're frequent public transport users because I don't drive. Her dad does drive and I implemented a rule of no screens in the car or on public transport because I didn't want her to become reliant on them for travelling. The only exception has been long haul flights. I knew she might find it boring at times but that's life, I find it boring at times. She's always allowed to bring something, a book or drawing or whatever. Sometimes we put my playlist on and she listens to music and just watches out the window. It's not a battle because she's so used to it.

If someone wants to or feels they need to use screens I've got absolutely no issues with that. But if they can't use screens without headphones, they shouldn't be using screens with high volume in public.

@Ddakji why can't you use headphones

Because I have tinnitus and hyperacusis (very sensitive hearing). I stopped using headphones before smartphones and iPads came along, they just really make my ears hurt (as does water so I wear earplugs to swim and even in the shower sometimes).

So I never have the volume on on my own phone. Just bookmark stuff and watch it when I get home.

Wow the plot thickens…. You can’t wear them as an adult but you expect a 2 year old to wear them?
Talk about a judgemental hypocrite.

She doesn't have her volume up, did she not just reiterate that? 2 year olds don't need the volume up either.

I don’t expect a 2 year old to use them (more lies, you really are on a roll) - I expect no volume without headphones which isn’t the same thing. I’ve already said I respect your decision not to use them - did you miss that while you were concocting more lies to tell or getting posts deleted (very interested to know what you said to me that got deleted).

I never said I or my kids use screens on high volume, you need to read back properly.

I never got posts deleted,… what are you on about…

Page 5 of this thread - when I click on a notification that you’ve replied to one of my posts this comes up. Maybe take a look at your email.

Oh my god, I didn't say you did. It was a general comment at the end of a post, per normal usage of a discussion forum.

I don't think you always get a choice. I don't understand why when booking there isn't an option for not wanting the quiet coach

@Encrochat i think I was on the same train as you! And I agree, it was nuts how much noise there was from kids using devices without headphones

I find this so hard because I agree, it's not good and they should wear headphones. We have headphones. We have several headphones options. My eldest can't tolerate them but also can't tolerate sitting doing nothing. We try to limit him for any screens on public transport to games he can play with volume at zero especially now he can read the instructions written etc. however transporting him can be a trial due to his conditions so if we're running out of steam there are a few videos or games he will sit still for but they need volume. I limit him to barely audible volume if he can't tolerate headphones. We're currently working on him tolerating in ear ear buds just now which is going better but it's been a work in progress and I've definitely been that mum with a kid on a bus in a buggy listening to cocomelon. Because without it there was a point he'd have injured one or both of us in a meltdown.

My youngest child on the other hand rarely requires any screens at all, she'll happily content herself with a couple of Sylvanian families figures and a chat. Has always gotten in her buggy and despite the normal toddler tantrums has never had anything approaching a meltdown. So if I'd only ever had her I'd judge me too.

Judge away because there's no point saying not to. I will say I have had all the criticism when I'm out with my son due to his 'behaviour' and so many bits of unwanted advice when my God I've been through every parenting strategy and he has both physical and developmental disabilities that mean it's always high level difficult. My youngest, constant compliments on her behaviour, on what a good job I'm doing, on what a delight she is and I'm over here with life one asy mode barely having to intervene, the child could raise herself.