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Original poster

ADHD toddler and future

348 replies

ForLovingTealSheep · 21/08/2025 13:59

I am at my lowest point in life and I have dealt with pretty bad stuff like cancer but this is eating me up bit by bit everyday . My 2.5 year old who’s that child who doesn’t do circle time or sit in group toddler ever and the older she gets the more difficult it becomes . I have posted many times and every time I have been told that I have Munchausen by proxy until I see my daughter being the only one out of 20 to not sit still for activities at groups and talking all the time .

We don’t have a family history of adhd and we have a total of 4 siblings between me and my partner’s family . Apart from group settings she is strong willed but generally well behaved and always follow instructions to a tee including sitting for meals at home . Sleeps 16 hours a day and eat a good diet . She is not impulsive and for her age I believe she had a good attention span around 6 to 8 minutes per activity but that’s important I guess as I have heard lots of adhd kids can focus well .

All I want to know will she have a relatively independent life and will I ever be able to go to a restaurant with her in the future without having to get up every single time or a simple coffee .

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 21/08/2025 14:03

For the love of goodness she's 2.5. You cant diagnose adhd and if she can follow instructions at home and behave then likely not adhd
Some toddlers dont like circle time or group activities.
Stop pushing adhd on her, you sound obsessed with diagnosing her

And I have adhd husband and 3 children diagnosed

LimbOnTheBranchBranchOnTheTreeTheTreeInTheBog · 21/08/2025 14:05

She sounds like a typical 2 year old.

Why are you so insistent she has ADHD?

Mrsttcno1 · 21/08/2025 14:05

She is just a toddler OP.

MonsterMamaJam · 21/08/2025 14:06

Calm down. She’s so young.
I’m an adult with a diagnosis of adhd, and by most peoples standards I would be considered a successful adult.
what exactly is it you’re worried about? I don’t understand your anxiety - just deal with the child you have in front of you, understand and respond to her needs and she’ll turn out fine.

Parksinyork · 21/08/2025 14:09

Sleep well and an abover average level of concentration I doubt she has ADHD. Is she getting the recommended min of 3 hours of exercise a day?

Pineapples123 · 21/08/2025 14:10

She’s so young OP. There’s no way adhd would be diagnosed for years yet. And you say she follows introductions, has a good attention span and isn’t impulsive? All of which suggest no adhd. I think you have nothing to worry about and should just let her be a toddler

Lizzypet · 21/08/2025 14:11

My son was just like this. We were once asked to leave a story time at the library as he wouldn't sit down & was distracting the other children too much.. He was quite difficult until age 4 or 5, but is now 9 & doing great. He is still pretty lively but school have no concerns & he is doing well. I think this can be perfectly normal at age 2.5.

raffle · 21/08/2025 14:11

Well to go against the grain... I knew DS had ADHD from when he was about 2. It was (and remains) very obvious in his behaviours.

However, his older brother has Autism and so he was statistically more likely to have a neurodiverse condition.

Lambtangine · 21/08/2025 14:12

She’s 2 and a half. She sounds lovely.

Lambtangine · 21/08/2025 14:14

I have adhd. I live a good life. I work full time. I have friends and a partner. And I can go to restaurants and out for coffee.

Lammveg · 21/08/2025 14:14

Ok. So let's say its true. She has ADHD. So what? Shes the same child with or without the diagnosis.

You need to enjoy the child you have. My child is the same age and doesn't sleep well, but even if that was due to ADHD...its still who she is.

Your child is going to have preferences for various activities etc, maybe circle time just isnt her thing. She isnt a little robot who will do everything you want or expect her to do.

EachPeach26 · 21/08/2025 14:14

Are you the mother who has posted constantly about this and your child? You've been told many times not to worry. Please talk to someone in real life, its eating you up and you're missing her childhood. Take care.

NuovaPilbeam · 21/08/2025 14:17

Honestly at 2.5 its completely normal to not want to sit for circle time.

Neither of mine did
Both are happy NT kids with no issues at school or socially.

You do get some toddlers who are quiet and placid. They aren't necessarily NT, or bright, or advanced, its just their personality.

Wait til your kid is more like 5-6.

Waitingfordoggo · 21/08/2025 14:21

She sounds quite normal- busy and quite hard work for you but not unusual at all for a toddler. Why are you diagnosing her with a condition? Are you a psychologist? I very much doubt any psychologist would give a diagnosis at 2.5. Not only that but you are then immediately negative about the condition and seem to think that people with ADHD can’t live normal independent lives.

My DD was a very busy toddler and had a lot of tantrums (she didn’t sleep anywhere near 16 hours a day though!) As it happens she actually does have ADHD but it certainly wasn’t diagnosed when she was 2.5

She is a young adult now and living a happy, busy, productive life. Her ADHD does cause problems for her but she is learning a lot about herself and how her brain works and is developing strategies to help her manage life, work and relationships.

But I have also known plenty of toddlers like these that didn’t have ADHD. It’s honestly a bit ridiculous that you are diagnosing her yourself at such a young age.

BookArt55 · 21/08/2025 14:22

@Lammveg spot on. Love your child for who they are, not who you imagined you wanted them to be.
Some kids don't like circle time, that is fine, they just like other things.
Diagnosis of adhd isn't even possible until 6years old.
Parent her, as she is, and enjoy it all. She's perfect the way she is.
And if she does have Adhd, it isn't a death sentence. I was diagnosed 3 or 4 weeks ago at 38 years old. I have a degree, a post graduate, successful in my career, 2 kids, great friendships... and very happy.

Bitzee · 21/08/2025 14:25

There’s a reason why they don’t typically diagnose ADHD before age 6 and that’s because there’s so much overlap between that and normal toddler behaviours. The fact that other kids sit for circle time at groups means nothing- people generally seek out the groups that suit their toddlers and those with other kids who don’t like to sit either will generally be found at the more physically active and unstructured ones. Following instructions, not impulsive and what sounds like a very good attention span for her age doesn’t exactly fit either. My now 8YO DD hated circle time and sitting still at that age too. Definitely no ND but is very sporty so I think sitting still type activities just didn’t suit her until she had a bit more maturity.

PinkBobby · 21/08/2025 14:35

Very gently, if your toddler isn’t a circle time kid, find other activities that suit her energy levels/interests. She’s still very little and doesn’t need to be labelled with anything because she’s bored at playgroup! She has plenty of time to develop the skills to sit still and concentrate as she gets older. For now, have fun together doing what she enjoys.

It’s very easy to feel the odd one out at these groups when everyone else’s kids are sitting still and singing along. But the reality is there are a whole load of toddlers (like mine) running around the park, softplay, garden etc. having a different kind of fun that suits them. Don’t try to fix this or think it’s an issue - it sounds like she can focus when she’s interested so embrace what she wants to do.

Whattodo1610 · 21/08/2025 14:36

Wow OP calm down! Your dd is 2 and a half years old and is acting age appropriate! I suggest you seek help for your anxiety - I mean this kindly.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/08/2025 14:38

A 2.5 yo who can focus and sleeps well and not impulsive.

Meet DD who couldn’t do any of that and has a diagnosis. Now a teen, great at school, friends, happy and productive. Still has ADHD.

Relax, sack off circle time, and get outside.

Ablondiebutagoody · 21/08/2025 14:39

Get her out running around in the fresh air rather than tedious circle time. Restaurants and coffee shops are no fun with most toddlers. Give her a few more years for that. It'll be fine.

Thedoorisalwaysopen · 21/08/2025 14:40

Another 2 year old, acting like a 2 year old, having a label slapped on her. Shame.

The fact that you think that your child not sitting still in circle time (which is boring for most 6 year olds, let alone 2 year olds) is worse than cancer is very telling. Please get some helpful yourself before projecting your ideas onto your child.

Spies · 21/08/2025 14:41

Honestly I mean this kindly but if you've posted a lot and each time everyone has said it's a you problem then I really think you need to stop posting and speak to a professional. Literally nothing you've posted indicates anything about you child and you're likely to set the poor lamb up with all kinds of issues by labelling her and looking for things that just aren't there.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 21/08/2025 14:43

I work with this age group and every year there are a few who can't sit still. They don't listen to anyone and miss instructions, they only focus on what they want and they are very difficult to quieten. The overwhelming majority are manageable by 4.5. They might still be extremely active and have short attention span but still able to fit in and be managed. It's not anything to worry about now. Maybe at 4 start to take it a bit seriously but no way would I be worrying now. If she does have Adhd, so what? There are many ways to manage it and get by, she will be fine.

I'd say forget restaurants for a while, it's not worth the battle. Maybe start introducing the idea again at about 3. My ds had adhd and I would bring him to a cafe with a little lego set and get a takeaway cup and be always ready to leave when he got disruptive. If it's immediately after intense activity I could get much more time than straight out of the car. You'll find ways to manage it but there will be failed moments, you just try again next time.

Cremefraicheeee · 21/08/2025 14:44

God op, your poor kid.

She's 2 and half. Why are you trying to force an imaginary diagnosis on her?

Kindly you need to sort yourself out. Before you begin to affect her because thats whats going to happen.

Cat3059 · 21/08/2025 14:45

My suggestion OP would be to stop taking her to activities where she has to sit still and be quiet and take her to things where she can be busy. It doesn't matter if she has ADHD or not, just enjoy her and let her enjoy being 2. Trying to make her sit when she doesn't want to just isn't worth it. She sounds like a lot of fun though so go have some busy, active, loud fun with her! She's got plenty of years of sitting still quietly ahead of her, she doesn't need to do it right now.