ADHD toddler and future

[ForLovingTealSheep]

I am at my lowest point in life and I have dealt with pretty bad stuff like cancer but this is eating me up bit by bit everyday . My 2.5 year old who’s that child who doesn’t do circle time or sit in group toddler ever and the older she gets the more difficult it becomes . I have posted many times and every time I have been told that I have Munchausen by proxy until I see my daughter being the only one out of 20 to not sit still for activities at groups and talking all the time .

We don’t have a family history of adhd and we have a total of 4 siblings between me and my partner’s family . Apart from group settings she is strong willed but generally well behaved and always follow instructions to a tee including sitting for meals at home . Sleeps 16 hours a day and eat a good diet . She is not impulsive and for her age I believe she had a good attention span around 6 to 8 minutes per activity but that’s important I guess as I have heard lots of adhd kids can focus well .

All I want to know will she have a relatively independent life and will I ever be able to go to a restaurant with her in the future without having to get up every single time or a simple coffee .

That’s so harsh and not needed at all .. how would you explain that she is the only one of a big group that she cannot sit and gets overwhelmed when going out to public places like coffees or restaurants

I knew DD was ADHD from about 1 onwards. Nursery, reception, Y1. All saying, quite normal, blah, blah, blah.

Recently been tested, 99% ADHD profile. Dr. said one of the clearest, most overt cases he's seen. Despite teachers denial. (Before the nay sayers start, it involved 3 appointments. All in person, face to face.)

You know your child best. She's too young to test now, but you can manage some aspects. No screen time. Limit artificial colours/sweeteners. Warm milk (natural soporific) before bed. All children are different so you'll know her best.

She may never be able to manage group activities. My DD can't. She's brilliant in an area where she just be active and let rip though. Climbing, running. Loves swimming although that's REALLY hard work for me to keep up with her!

Start researching where to get her tested NOW because waiting lists (yes, even private ones) are long. If you rely on the NHS she'll be 10 before it happens. Don't rely on CAMHS because they're so over subscribed even children they know have SEN only get seen if they're in the most severe 10%.

Because she's 2. Absolutely typical 2yo behaviour.

It may sounds harsh but you're sitting looking at your dd and labeling totally normal behaviours.

Those of us who have children with disabilities would do anything to take those away from our dc, and here you are scouring your kids every move and diagnosing them all and then looking for backup on here.

You're being utterly ridiculous and I say that as a mum of one, now adult child, who has Adhd. And two who do not. You cannot tell at 2.5 from the things you have said.

There is a reason paediatricians won’t even contemplate ADHD diagnosis in under 6s - because so many of the signs overlap with normal pre school age behaviours.

I work with children in early years. A 2 year old not liking sitting down really isn’t noteworthy!

Are you the mum who has been convinced that her 2 year old has autism, and been reassured by many other posters that she sounds entirely typical? If you are, then I urge you to speak to your GP about your anxieties. Whether or not your DD is ND, you’re making yourself miserable. And you really do risk your DD picking up on your anxieties and causing her psychological harm (however much you don’t mean to).

Yes,

Yet there are some special moments education teacher who have ADHD themselves who told you can always pick those toddlers out amongst NT ones and using the word “ spirited child “ is a teacher gergo to indicate adhd

🙄

If you are convinced she has 'something' then why not land on 'hugely creative' 'ridiculously curious' and help her channel it.

so what if it does turn out to be ADHD - she can still have a normal (whatever that actually is) life go to uni etc

i have ADHD albeit diagnosed at 47 last year, but i finished school, went to uni, worked part then full time, travelled all over the world, only been unemployed for 4 weeks, and i done all this without knowing i had adhd

would my life be different if i had known years ago, yes, but that doesnt mean my life is or has been shite

This trend of wishing diagnosis on very young children is so damaging. Take steps to improve the issues rather than craving excuses via diagnosis.

I feel sorry for the poor child.

It really wasn't harsh it was pretty restrained to be fair. Have you ever heard of a self fulfilling prophecy you're seeing things that you want to see to fit your imagined narratives.

Then you don’t seem to understand how wide the spectrum of neurodiversity can be . A 2.5 year who talks incessantly without pausing most of the time and doesn’t ever adjust to the group playing is not normal . When she gets overwhelmed at playgroups she never comes to us for comfort

It is perfectly normal.

and even if she does turn out to be neeodivergent so what? What does that change at this point? Nothing. Parent the child you have. Enjoy your child and stop trying to look for problems.

Did you attend an event like Story Time at a library when the other kids sat still? Events like that will attract kids who can sit still- active kids like yours wouldn’t attend because they won’t be able to enjoy an event like that.
You need therapy to realise that you are pushing your issues onto your dd. Start attending events which match her personality and don’t try and enforce “sit down” events because they just feeds your paranoia and your dd doesn’t enjoy it.

Yes op children definitely feed off their parents anxiety, or do things for attention because they know they will get a reaction for certain behaviours. If she sits with your dh, watch that he’s doing, how he instigates the reading, his tone of voice, body language, responses, praise etc and see if you can learn something from that.

As others have said, too early to diagnose, but nothing you've said jumps out as a particular red flag for adhd.

But on the assumption that you're right, of course it's entirely possible to lead a full and normal life, and be able to enjoy meals out, with adhd. It's good that you're alert to the possibility I suppose, because early intervention is key to helping to develop the executive skills that are lacking in those with adhd. They're capable of the things NT people are, it just takes harder work to build the necessary neural connections and get them 'firing'.

Is your dd otherwise developing normally, hitting milestones etc? If so, it's unlikely she has accompanying learning difficulties which could make things more challenging for her.

Op it is such a shame that you aren’t just enjoying your little girl. What doesn’t matter if she has ADHD?

You sound like you want an excuse. Excessive labelling of young children helps nobody. It is an abdication of parental responsibility.

Even if they do get labelled how does that help the child? Does it just make you feel better to claim it’s not your fault then?

Surely your only goal is to improve your child’s life. Carving a diagnosis won’t achieve that.

Because I cannot seem to be able to understand her or what’s going on when she gets on and anxious . Had I been like her as a toddler I would have been able to connect better with her

You again!!

Honestly you're talking as if your child has been diagnosed with a life limiting disease with 'will she live a normal future'

Yes. 2.5 year olds can't sit still. THIS IS NORMAL

Who the feck is asking or expecting a 2 year old to sit for circle time ? Even by 4 it is developmentally normal that some children will struggle.

If you're so sure there's something wrong with her why haven't you just taken her to the GP?

Then they can be the ones to tell you you're being ridiculous and we can stop wasting our time

Isn't your own mother a paediatrician and has no concerns? ,why are you so determined thst your child is disabled?