ADHD toddler and future

[ForLovingTealSheep]

I am at my lowest point in life and I have dealt with pretty bad stuff like cancer but this is eating me up bit by bit everyday . My 2.5 year old who’s that child who doesn’t do circle time or sit in group toddler ever and the older she gets the more difficult it becomes . I have posted many times and every time I have been told that I have Munchausen by proxy until I see my daughter being the only one out of 20 to not sit still for activities at groups and talking all the time .

We don’t have a family history of adhd and we have a total of 4 siblings between me and my partner’s family . Apart from group settings she is strong willed but generally well behaved and always follow instructions to a tee including sitting for meals at home . Sleeps 16 hours a day and eat a good diet . She is not impulsive and for her age I believe she had a good attention span around 6 to 8 minutes per activity but that’s important I guess as I have heard lots of adhd kids can focus well .

All I want to know will she have a relatively independent life and will I ever be able to go to a restaurant with her in the future without having to get up every single time or a simple coffee .

She's 2.5. You can't diagnose her with adhd. Ridiculous. I've worked with children for years and you CANNOT pick a child with adhd out of a group of two year olds.

The thing is. Even if she has ADHD. What will that change? I have DC with ADHD. All it means is you have an explanation. I don't think anyone would recommend medicating a child that young.

All of my dc are different from each other and me, I'm very connected and bonded to them all.

The gp may be a good idea for you op, there is clearly a lot going on with you, and the fact you can't bond with your child because you aren't alike, and wish to 'blame' this on autism or ADHD is really unhealthy.

Why are you only answering certain questions? Is it because not enough people are agreeing with you?

She isn’t a mini you. She is her own person who is just being able to start forming her own personality. Don’t try to push her into a box to be like you that is way more harmful than any potential neurodiversity would be!

I suspect the child isn’t the problem here. Please don’t project your issues on to her.

You’d do better getting some help for yourself rather than trying to label your child as disabled.

I have ADHD. My daughter has ASD and ADHD. She was diagnosed at 12. I was diagnosed at 45.

She was a “spirited child” and looking back there were some signs of ND, but we had a wonderful time with her because we weren’t nitpicking every element of her behaviour to try and label it.

You are wasting very precious time with her. Especially as you seem to be trying for another child.

Enjoy the toddler you have. Stop catastrophising. And for fuck’s sake get some counselling.

How many people actually know what they were like at 2.5? Come on op.

I am the only one in my family diagnosed with adhd. But I’m old enough to be your mother and in my day girls didn’t tend to be diagnosed. I wasn’t until my 40s.

but even if she has adhd. SO WHAT?

I am a fully functioning adult. I have children. Friends. A partner. I even have a job.

what is WRONG with her having ADHD EVEN IF SHE DOES (which I don’t think she does I just think she sounds like she’s 2.5)?

She always answers the people agreeing with her and ignores the rest
Tihe thing is those posting in good faith about their own ND children are not really helping this thread will just go the same way it always goes.

Saying ADHD is not a big deal for most people who are diagnosed is insulting and minimising the disability. ADHD is debilitating, end of. We just find coping mechanisms in some situations.
Surely if a person wasn't struggling, they wouldn't even pursue a diagnosis. We get diagnosed because it's quite obvious that is having a huge, negative impact on our lives!

This one .

The op has a 2.5 year old.

Shes going to be a whirling dervish with limited attention span. Shes 2.5. That’s within the range of normal.

no one will diagnosed adhd at 2.5. No one.

Is your dd struggling with anything other than your expectation that she sits down at circle time?

Do you have high levels of anxiety, OP? Possibly health anxiety?

You’ve posted so many times asking the same questions about your child. Every time, you are assured that her development sounds perfectly normal with no reason to be concerned about ADHD and/or autism. What are you trying to achieve by repeatedly posting the same question over and over? What support are you seeking in real life for these - I’m going to say it - delusions?

Yes people have coping mechanisms.

but not at 2.5. It’s too early to know one way or another.

you need help op. This isn’t about your dd. It’s about you.

and I am totally fine with that .. she can be whoever she wants . ADHD is a disability at the end of the day .. has got nothing to do with personality .

it is her behaviour in social situations

ADHD MIGHT meet the standard to be a disability. It might. But it also might be a minor thing that only affects her a little or that she doesn’t want medication or treatment for. OR SHE MIGHT NOT HAVE IT AT ALL.

op you really are being so out of order with this. She sounds normal. Go to your health visitor and doctor and talk to them because this isn’t normal. And I don’t mean your child, who sounds FINE.

i Would say social situations and being out in new places she gets incredibly overwhelmed . I took her to a holiday to Italy to see my mom and dad and we stayed at their house and pretty soon she started crying every time my parents would enter the room . We had to rebook tickets to come back early

My son did that every time he saw my mum and dad who lived in Scotland we lived in Wales.

He is now 34 and doesn’t have ADHD.

She was a toddler in a strange place with people she may not know that well she will feel overwhelmed and perhaps tired. None of what you say is unusual. Ds hated social situations and lots of people but is not diagnosed with anything he just likes his own space. He is 18 now. Support her to experience new things in a positive way and meet different things without fear.

Because she’s 2….

so weird you keep wishing disability on your toddler

Just to add. The bawling when he saw them only stopped when he was about 4 ish. Mum and dad kept him for a week because we had a family emergency in my husbands family. And he fell in love with their caravan (“that little house”) and my poor dad had to sleep in it every night with them.

he was there with me when his granny died. Just me and him. Holding her hand.

and that’s what matters op. Those memories. Whether he does or doesn’t have adhd and whether your daughter does or doesn’t isn’t fucking important at this stage.

please go and get help. Please.

Thanks ☺️ shall I keep trying to take her out to coffee places / similar places or take a break and wait when she is a bit older ? It breaks my heart to see her struggling and I don’t know if a break it is what she needs or it might isolate her further

At this point any unusual behavior from this child is most likely down to the stress of living with a caregiver who is constantly overly worried about her and obsessively looking for signs of any nuerodivergence. It can't be a very relaxing or reassuring environment to grow up in.