To have been half naked in front of other children?

[BrieEncounter]

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

If she was that concerned she should have gone into the private room, or at least put the children in there. That in itself would've been ridiculous but each to their own. Presumably she avoids foreign holidays where there will be numerous topless women! (Far to cold in UK for that 😂)

Surely everyone gets naked after coming out of a swimming pool? If she didn’t want her children to see people changing she should have been in the separate bit. She’s being ridiculous. Plus, it’s boobs. Only boobs. You didn’t twerk your bare bum at them.

You did nothing wrong. My boys are taught not to look at people getting changed in such a scenario for privacy. But even if they did see something, it’s only a human body! Making a big deal of it will give them a complex!

But she wasn't concerned enough to use the family area, because she wanted to get changed with her friend, so presumably it's ok for her son to see her friend getting changed, but not the OP. This woman had a perfectly good solution to HER problem but chose to make it the OP's problem instead.

We dont no how many people were in it as op didn't look. She changed at her locker.

Not at all unreasonable.

She shouldn't brought her son into a communal changing area. If she has to bring her son into the women's changing rooms they need to use a cubicle.

I always dry my hair topless in the gym hairdyer area because otherwise it drips down my top.

It was a woman in the female changing room. Women have boobs. Getting changed necessitates a degree of dressing and undressing.

If you don't want your child to be exposed to naked skin in a changing room, go to one with cubicles. Even if they'd used the family area, there would presumably be other families there with other women who were also getting changed.

She’s fucking entitled.
She should have gone in the family changing room.
Cheeky fucker she is.

Ridiculous. You got changed, in a changing room. It’s not like you were parading about deliberately waggling your tits in their face.

If she doesn’t want her children seeing people getting changed she should have gone in the private family room. And also, she should maybe just chill a little - the human body is not something perverted.

Nah, for boobs she was overreacting. Her kid could see these on a public beach or around breast-feeding mothers.

I thought you were going to say that some of your kids' friends had stayed over and seen you in a state of undress, which would have been more of a problem, but given these children were strangers in a public changing area, with their parents, I think it's harmless.

Not at all. If she didn’t want her children round half naked women she shouldn’t be using a public changing room with them. So bizarre!

Just a little bit of a overreaction to start shouting and running off to the manager. The kids would probably not have noticed anything untoward if it weren't for her overreaction.

I don't think you were unreasonable. You were just getting changed. I don't think we need to be afraid of people's bodies in these contexts and actually think it's good to see real bodies in a non-sexual context. Otherwise bodies just get reduced to being sexual objects and the only bodies they'll see are unrealistic ones in adverts or porn.

I know right? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can’t believe no one else is to ding this hilarious 🤣🤣🤣 gotta just love boys 🤣🤣

Just to chime in that YWNBU and the mother is batshit.

I hope it gets resolved in favour of common sense.

If she wants her children protected against nudity, she should pick a pool with a changing village style set-up not open plan changing rooms.

Yes but it’s not entirely reasonable to expect someone to move the entire contents of their locker because you have decided you now occupy that space. Especially not when your use of that space is entirely appropriate and the person with an issue has a whole other changing room they can use in private.

I have 2 boys and the youngest (2 yo) charges round shouting poo poo poo poo poo, wee wee wee wee wee every time someone says they are going to the loo 😂

Indecent exposure needs intent. Getting changed in a swimming pool changing room isn't intent. Its a normal everyday activity.

If shecdoesnt like open plan changing rooms she needs to swim elsewhere.

To those asking about the layout, this is it. I could see two other sections were heaving with people. It’s all open plan. There is a door closing off the family area but even that is open plan.

i didn’t walk up and look in the adult section but at the time, it didn’t occur to me to!

@TheSummerof25 thank you - that explains it

They should've used that then. Two families could've used two cubicles. Bonkers.

@BrieEncounter we crossed posted. So the family area in DL is open plan? It all making less sense from the point of view of that crazy woman.

She’s was being a complete prude. You did something completely normal in a designated dressing area.

Oh gosh, it’s an obsession isn’t it? Mine often shouts ‘stinky butts’ in public and they both squeal with laughter like they’d just told the funniest joke in the world.

This must surely be Daily Mail worthy!

"Mother fears her children were damaged by seeing woman getting undressed in changing room"

Picture of her with a sad face, desperately trying to shield her children's eyes from naked woman (blurred out bits and bobs).