To have been half naked in front of other children?

[BrieEncounter]

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

If someone takes wee girls into a male changing room presumably they assume the risk there will be male nudity.

But OP wasn't 'exposing herself', she was just getting changed. In a changing room.

If a young girl is young enough to be in the men's, then same thing. People get changed normally. If the girl is too old, she should be taken to the family room if there is no woman to take her to the womens.

How do people get changed in the changing area without being naked? Surely that's exactly what it's for, otherwise they'd call it something different, wouldn't they?

I have been going to gyms for years and have probably seen thousands of people basically naked, whilst getting changed.

I would expect the parent to make a judgement based on their knowledge of gym etiquette. There are family areas available and if a father chooses instead to take his DDs into the men’s changing rooms then he is doing so in the full knowledge that there is a risk they will see willies.

The woman is ridiculous.

Our gym doesn’t have a family change and only has one cubicle, so bodies are on show all the time. It’s a changing room, it can’t be helped.

She sounds utterly unhinged. Don’t stress about it OP. There are some proper crazies that walk among us.

You could also have complained that she had male children in the women's changing rooms if you were going to be as ridiculous as she is being.

It sounds like she needs to use the family changing area. I hope that is what DL tell her.

At our sports club there are 6 changing rooms:

1. females over 14 years
2. female changing rooms incl family
3. males over 14 years
4. male changing rooms incl family
5. mobility changing room with accessible shower, loo and lockers.

Lots of nudity in David Lloyd I’m a prude so took my kids to the changing room.My issue because to be honest I’m flabby and the gym crowd seemed v toned!

Is the adults section for people who want to flash a tit?

Did you turn your back when putting your bra on?

I'm no prude but I would not be getting my baps out in front of children.

Oh ffs. Why is there always one trying to compare. Oh but what if it was a man... IT WASN'T A MAN THOUGH WAS IT? 🙄

I know they will run around talking about their willies whilst shooting pretend spiderman webs at everyone!

😂

I agree with this. Given there was an adult only bit, that would make the most sense to me. I really hope the manager doesnt eye roll, i dont think its crime of the century but i dont think the concerned parent should be being effectively ridiculed.

She would have a heart attack if she saw me changing on the beach after a sea swim.

I also would have been unlikely to have moved bays because of the kids - I visit 5x a week and am usually constrained by time, I often have my laptop bag, a jacket, change of shoes and my gym bag in my locker so moving those around whilst covered with a towel is a hassle I’d rather avoid. I often allow myself ten mins to shower and change before collecting the kids or making a work call upstairs in the club room.

Saying this for context as to why OP might not have moved.

OP your use of the changing room was entirely appropriate. The other member was the issue.

The woman’s behaviour was bonkers. At my local David Lloyd, there are only 4 cubicles in the female changing room, so most people change in the communal area.

So who on earth would be daft enough to complain about a few glimpses of a female body - in a female changing room? Or to think that it constitutes ‘flashing’ to children?

I can honestly say that my Gdcs (10, 9* 5) who I’ve taken to my DL, would not turn a hair, though TBH I wouldn’t put it past them to giggle if they saw an exceptionally vast bare bottom….
*And Gds 9 would now have to use the men’s anyway.

But she wasn't at the beach with no facilities, she was in a changing room with a designated area for adults?

The adult only bit is about 15-20% of the total space available to change so it’s not feasible for every adult visiting alone to use that space.

You did nothing wrong.
In Germany the spa/swimming pool changing rooms are heaving with naked flesh -- both old and young. They seem so much less hung-up on bodies than the Brits.
(Mind you, seeing my boyfriend's old mum and her friend in the nud was a bit disturbing for me as a 17 yr old LOL)

@BrieEncounter it's not your fault and she is completely mad

I have a question. I've never been in the family changing room. Couldn't the same thing have happened in that room? Or is it like a massive cubicle for each family?

I have never understood why any changing rooms are open plan but that's a separate conversation.

Well if a Father thought it appropriate to take a little girl into the mens changing rooms then obviously he would need to expect her to see some male nudity. If that were a problem then he would need to seek an alternative space to use; just as this woman should have done, given her attitude to Women getting changed in the Women's changing room.

Probably they were on the £15 for the summer or whatever irritating deal they put on to annoy existing members for the holidays. Cause in mine it's the folk hiding behind towels that are in the minority. Frequently see lacey thong clad bums parked on the hairdrying stools. Topless woman blow drying hair etc.

At our local pools all the signs say that children over 7 should get changed in their own sex changing rooms. I think if this is actually the ladies changing, not family changing, then boys over 7 should not be there. Some local pools have only mixed sex & family changing rooms, but these are open to adult males and females and are all cubicles, just with some large enough for a family to fit in.

The people saying “ move to the adult section” must not be members of DL. In the summer holidays and at peak times it’s often difficult to move in the adult section. A couple of times recently I got changed in the section that allows children. The first time because my 13 year old DD was with me and I wasn’t sure what the cut off was in the adult section. The second time there wasn’t room to put my bag anywhere. There’s always going to be nakedness in a changing room and just because some people are uptight about it doesn’t mean everyone else is wrong.

Seems pretty unanimous that you were not in the wrong. Why did her and her friend have to go into the same cubicle and how can you guarantee not the slightest peek of a body whilst getting changed? You put your shorts on under your towel, that's enough. If you stood fully naked in front of the children, it would be different. I might be tempted to complain about being shouted at by another customer in the changing rooms, actually.

My DL it’s a big changing room for a family - with a shower cubicle in there. There’s 4 rooms at my gym, impossible at peak times and they are filthy because the room is effectively a wet room.