To have been half naked in front of other children?

[BrieEncounter]

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

what lesson? Good grief are you now demanding women lose even their changing rooms? Is there nowhere where women can claim their space? Now children must be prioritised over actual women. In women’s changing rooms?

You did absolutely nothing wrong. If anything, she shouldn’t have had an 8 year old boy in the women’s changing room. The policy at most pools is that from 8 boys must go in the men’s changing room.

Ok then. How do YOU get changed without stripping off?

9 year old male children at that.

Wow this woman would literally collapse if she went to my David Lloyd all the ladies are in states of undress constantly in the changing room! It's completely open in ours; there's only two small cubicles for changing privately and a disabled/baby change with a shower and toilet enclosed.

Whenever I'm there with my 3 year old DS I just get him changed at the big changing seats and usually there are about 20 elderly ladies in various states of undress. I tend to go swimming with him just at the same time as aqua fit so they all pile out with me.

You weren't in the wrong OP, you actually sounded even less naked than I'm used to at my David Lloyd! That woman needs to get a grip.

Of course you did nothing wrong. Getting changing into bathers require getting naked. You were using the room for its explicit purpose. There is NOTHING inappropriate about a woman changing in a women’s changing room. I would most certainly make a counter complaint that she should not have taken an eight year old boy into a female changing area. If he is old enough to notice and be bothered by a women’s body then he is too old to be in the change room. What if he (or the batshit mother) had this shaming reaction to an 8 year old girl? It would be very damaging. She should not be permitted to bring her children into anything other than the family change room again.

I’m sure this has been said, but hopefully this lady never takes her kids to a changing room in France or Germany 🤣

You’re completely right and someone has FINALLY got to what I really want to discuss. They used to be spectacular. Since having children I would say they are now sag-tacular.

Oh god OP. This very thing happened to me - except for the mum having a go. So i was trying to wrangle my way out of my swimsuit and into my clothes and getting dry - in front of two little boys who just gawped (as kids do) AND a frozen shoulder. It was hell. I felt so uncomfortable and so worried, and Im - shall we say - rather well endowed. And yes despite my best efforts boobs and minge were flashed for a few seconds here and there. I mean there was no other option for me, but it is what it is. The mum was too busy getting dressed herself. But the little boys gawping did make me uncomfy but really theres nowt any of us can do and its just nakedness. I would just shrug it off, you've done nothing wrong here.

I have absolutely learnt a lesson to always trust my gut when I think I’m in the right. As I seem to be here. Sadly the other mums lesson will be ‘people in glass houses’ or something like that!

The boys actually couldn’t have cared less and the older boy was actually engrossed in a console of some kind-it was the mum who seemed to be gawping.

I’m also intrigued how anyone can get changed to go swimming and NOT strip off?

This woman sounds batshit.

She didn't mind her children seeing her friends boobs, the children potentially would have been exposed to other people's nakedness in the communal family changing area too, yet she decided to target you.

How funny that whilst making her 'complaint' it turns out that her child, at 9 years old, shouldn't have been in there.

I'm sorry that you had to endure this, it must have been embarrassing, but you're not in the wrong here. There was a family room, she should have used it, or kept her trap shut.

Lol the woman is being ridiculous. I've been in her situation and my DS similar to that age was mr curious and couldn't stop staring. It was comical. I just said, eyes on me buddy. The woman and I smiled. It's a body. No lasting impact for anyone, And nothing malicious or perverted in that room ffs.

Jealous of your fab boobs then 😂

I honestly wouldn't worry about it and if anything comes of it, you're definitely in the right and she 💯 overreacted

What a silly remark!

She was getting changed in a female changing room where, in the absence of cubicles, nakedness is to be expected. There was a family room which this 'family' decided not to use. The children would still have been surrounded by nakedness because that was communal too. The woman wanted to be with her friend, hence why she didn't use the family room - presumably she was happy with her boys seeing her friends boobs, just not this lady's. And, as it transpires, the 9 year old boy shouldn't have even been in there! This is not the OPs fault.

In pools etc I'm not bothered (and have commented upthread that the woman was a loon) but, in the other's poster's defence it is possible. I do a lot of outdoors swimming so am quite an expert at changing without flashing everyone on the beach. Particularly if you wear a dress it is actually pretty easy to take off underwear and pull on swimming costume underneath before ever removing your outer layer. You can also put on bikini bottoms and then remove knickers from underneath, etc.

Again, I'm not suggesting anyone should need to faff around with this when in a changing room that is specifically designed for getting changed and where nudity is completely fine. But it's completely doable.

It is very easy to get changed for swimming without flashing anyone, but it is very much more difficult to get changed back afterwards without flashing anyone - which was what the op was doing.

No. You were in a changing room not a playground x

Go in with my costume under my clothes, then get changed afterwards under a towel.

Gosh.

I'd be wary of getting my tits out in front of 8 year old boys, to be honest.

Couldn't you have just turned around so all they saw was your naked back?

Just seems like a bit of a common decency thing, really. I always do my best to stay covered because I don't want to see anyone's tits and assume they wouldn't want to see mine either. There's nothing worse than flamboyant minge dryers and bender-overs in shared dressing rooms.

I doubt very much this will come to anything, though. You didn't do anything wrong in terms of 'rules'

I don't have an issue with what you described! I am always naked in a female changing room. I will shower naked and change. Of course, it's what to expect when in a female changing room. Equally, I wouldn't have an issue with my children seeing other women naked, and they have also been showering naked. I don't think there is any point in showering if you are wearing chlorine-soaked swimwear! It's not good for anyone's skin! I am also a David Loylod member. My 12 yo goes to the mens changing room and my 10, 8 and 6 yos come with me

Absolutely fine. Not unreasonable at all.

@BrieEncounter I'm going to let you in on a secret, OP. There are a number of men in the men's changing rooms who walk around completely naked. Boys using changing rooms in leisure centres will regularly see the dicks of old men, and yet, this never seems to be an issue.

I don't think boys are harmed whenever they see breasts (or any body part of a woman), so I don't really understand what this woman is annoyed about.