To have been half naked in front of other children?

[BrieEncounter]

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

Think it will be divided opinions but you were not unreasonable in my book.

No you’re fine. If she didn’t want her son seeing boobs for two seconds she should go to the family changing room or take up golf.

YWNU. That woman was ridiculous.

Ludicrous. Her problem 100%.

I'm on your side here

I think you were fine. Nakedness in a gym/ sports changing room is to be expected. She'll give her kids a complex. Boobs do not need to be sexualised

I think she overreacted, but if there were children already in, I think I would probably have gone to adult section

Not unreasonable. Why did her and her friend need to get changed together?

This sounds like a very similar set up to my David Lloyd and your behaviour would be totally normal at my gym. Frankly total nudity is a regular occurrence, including by me, because the towels they supply are so tiny. I can see they have to have a method of reviewing complaints, as presumably some people could be "malicious" about this i.e. doing so in a manner aiming to be creepy, but I wouldn't expect anything to come of it.

Not unreasonable at all

I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid, YNBU.

You didn't do owt wrong

I don’t think that you have done anything wrong, and open changing rooms are for getting changed in.

Equally, I would urge you to go gently with the woman if it comes up again. Often those sort of extreme reactions come from a place of protectiveness having had awful experiences in your own childhood.

YANBU, she’s a lunatic. It’s perfectly reasonable and expected that people will get changed in a changing room.
family changing is an option, she made a conscious decision not to use it.
what is the manager doing to say ‘I’m very sorry someone used the facilities the way they are intended’

YWNBU. If you were then I was inappropriate this morning at the gym too. And have been scores of times before. She’s being ridiculous. Don’t give it a second thought.

The mother was completely batshit. Another who doesn’t understand why a woman’s breasts are ‘wrong’ .. seems like teaching her kids that booms are a ‘rude and inappropriate thing’ to an 8 year old is sexualising them .

She over reacted. I don’t think twice when there are ladies in a state of undress when I’m changing the kids for swimming.

If you don’t make a big deal, they won’t see it as a big deal either. I wouldn’t tell them to hide their bodies away because I wouldn’t want them to think negatively about their bodies so I wouldn’t do the same to other people.

If this lady had an issue she should have used to family changing area.

Yeah, you were fine.

most people try to get changed with fairly minimal time naked but it’s necessary sometimes to adjust.

you were normal.

Bingo, it’s a David Lloyd.

Interesting they have a complaints procedure as the reception said it would be followed up when I sort of implied I didn’t think there was anything to it. Explains why she was quite formal about it

I wouldn't have got naked in front of other kids, no. I'm not saying you acted maliciously and I'm not a prude but but I don't understand why you wouldn't have preferred privacy if other options were available. I don't think I've ever seen anyone naked in a changing area, are there no cubicles?

She overreacted. Its an open changing room and if she didn't want her children seeing others getting changed she should have used the family changing rooms.

The flagging for manager review will purely be a process thing. They had a complaint, they have to review it in case it comes back on them at some point. Its highly unlikely they will do anything other than read it and go ok its fine.

Why couldn't she go in the family room with her child and her friend get changed separately?

If she's that upset about her child seeing your boobs then presumably she wouldn't want him to see her friend's boobs either?

YANBU, she should be encouraging her kids not to look at other people in a changing room, not drawing attention to the fact you were momentarily naked, for good reason, whilst you adjusted clothing. I don't see what the manager can realistically say, as the woman had the option to use a separate family room but chose not to.

Pearl clutching at its finest 😂 How do these people survive in the real world?

Wow, really? You’ve never seen a boob or bottom in a gym changing room?

Maybe it’s just the places I go but nakedness is pretty common in most changing rooms I’ve been to.

I did draw the line once when I saw a lady changing a tampon, but that’s another thread.

Equally, I would say if she was concerned, she could have gone to the family only area and separated from her friend