To have been half naked in front of other children?

[BrieEncounter]

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

YANBU.

Utterly ridiculous. It’s a swimming pool changing room. People take clothes off. It’s normal. Nakedness when changing is normal. Bodies are normal.

But also, you did nothing wrong! You merely changed in the female changing room. All sections are yours. The boys should not have been taken in there by mums who know better (unless they didn’t know about the family changing room, then it’s a mistake they need to learn from). Don’t be worried. You did nothing wrong.

You were changing in a changing room, how shocking. That mum needs to get a grip.

YANBU. Ridiculous woman.

Yes, if anything there should be a rule that if you are bringing your children into the changing rooms for the opposite sex you use a family room.

DITTO, this !

and the reason why they have the age over 8s of opposite sex to use the correct changing room !

Gosh, what a sad state of the world if accusations like this are being made !

Yup. Expect nudity in a changing room. Most people know this and are discrete where they stand and where they look.

The woman making a fuss ignored the usual etiquette by looking, shouting and making a fuss.

My old gym didn’t have doors in the showers and only slight glass dividers, women would be fully naked in there for everyone to see. Much the same as the changing area.

They had the option to use the family change and haven’t. You were in the correct area and I don’t think you were in the wrong. I’d probably see the adult only area being for those that don’t want the annoyance of kids rather than the woman’s reasoning

Another one hear that thinks the woman overreacted but i personally wouldn’t have got undressed in the same area as someone else’s children.
I’ve also never seen anyone naked in a changing room, mine local pool has cubicles.

Bizarre response - I used to be more conscious of keeping my boys in the family part as it’s normal to be briefly undressed while changing. I am fascinated by the more extremes at either end of the prudery scale - the full undertowel change which is impressive and the woman I once saw standing naked with her leg raised in front of a mirror while she dried her vagina with a hair dryer. What a confident young woman. Thankgoodness your complainer didn’t see that!

No of course you are not BU! How ridiculous.

If he was 8 he more than old enough to change by himself in a cubicle with mum nearby for help if needs be, if she doesn't want him glimpsing the other women.

Oh this made me laugh 😆😆 boys and their willies 😆😆
Pity your boys weren’t there .. what would she have done when they shot her with spider webs 😆😆😆

Where was she getting changed? Where was her friend getting changed? Surely they were in a state of undress at some point too. I don’t know what she’s complaining about - it’s a changing room.

You did nothing wrong

This Woman has inferred that your are a paedophile and harangued you for getting changed in a changing room. I would be absolutely furious and make a complaint to David Lloyd. This woman should not be allowed to be a member

"I think, as it is half term and the children were there before you, you should have thought on and gone to adults only."

Why though?

I'm a prude too, but that affects my own behaviour only. I don't try to police other people's behaviour unless they are breaking the law or a social convention. Changing in the changing room is completely normal.

Given that there is an adult section I would have used it.

If her son was old enough to be affected, he should have been in the male changing rooms. Or she takes him to the family changing if he’s under 8

She's totally unreasonable. Key factor for me - this is the women's changing. She brought her boys into a women's changing room. I don't feel that's inappropriate for younger boys, but it was her responsibility to know that there might possibly be women getting undressed in a room that is designed for women to get undressed...

We have the same set up at my gym. There are no cubicles so everyone there gets naked in front of each other. There’s a bench in the middle of bays of lockers. I take my kids in the ladies (3 and 6) because the family change is absolutely filthy and disgusting (an issue I have raised numerous times). I think the rules are nobody of the opposite sex over 8. If the mother was concerned about nudity she should’nt have used the ladies change.

You've never seen a communal changing room? This is what most gyms have. Have you never been to a gym?
A couple of decades ago, lots of women's shops actually had communal changing rooms, but maybe you're too young for those.

Do you think this woman realises that men get their willies out in front of strangers in public toilets? The 8 year old will have seen all sorts when he goes to a public loo with his father.

Would you not have used the family section if you had your 8 year old with you?

@BrieEncounter my gym is also a David Lloyd.

You did nothing wrong.