AIBU to of expected husband not to of gone on stag do

[Nattylion]

My husband has booked to go on a 6 night stag do this weekend, am I being unreasonable to of expected him not to go?

We have a 2 year old, 1 year old and a 3 month old baby none of which sleep through the night. I am absolutely dreading the thought of trying to do bedtime with all 3 of them and then managing the night wakings alone. The baby is breastfeed and has not got into a routine at all and is feeding on demand. I’m also struggling with post natal anxiety and my usual family support aren’t going to be around to be able to help as it is the bank holiday weekend.

I feel really hurt that my feelings that it’s going to be impossible to manage have just been disregarded, he has been away twice prior when we only had 2 children and said it wouldn’t be happening again when we found out about the third. I have never had a night away from the children.

6 nights?! That wouldn’t fly here and my third is nearly 4.

why aren’t your usual support around?

obviously he would be unreasonable to go but it’s a bit late in the day, surely it should have been stopped when it was first mentioned? I think the best you can hope for is he comes home early (like 4 nights early).

If he does go spend your days at soft play, use screens without guilt, take naps in the day when the kids nap, eat shit food and don’t worry about the house. It will be exhausting but you’ll get through it. When he gets home hand him 2 toddlers, the hoover and a shopping list and take the baby out for several hours. Then make sure you book yourself a 7 night break for this time next year.

6 nights?

That seems a long time to go away for a stag do! Where is it?

He couldn’t have just gone for a couple of days rather than an entire week?

A 6 night stag is unheard of.

How is it even possible to have 3 kids those ages btw? 😳

He is being an arse. You have a lot on your plate and he should have declined.

What a wankee

SIX nights?!

I’m generally a rare poster that thinks these things should be done and both parents need a break from time to time. But six nights? That’s a lot. Can he do the first three?

6 nights? That's a whole holiday! When are you going to get your week away while he looks after the kids on his own?

6 nights is nuts in any circumstances. I’d be utterly furious, you’ll be on your knees with exhaustion.

Is there an option for him to go for one or two nights? If not, this would be firm no from me.

A 6 night stag do is crazy!
Yanbu to be feeling the way you are.

6 nights is completely ridiculous. I would say when your kids are that age maybe one night, or 2 at a push would be the limit. Who's stag is it?

This " stag do " culture is just getting to.
be an absolute piss take.
6 nights??? 6 nights of drinking and womanising.
Your H should be prioritising you and his children not going off on a bender like a single guy.
I would rather finish my relationship than be with someone who thought so little about his wife and family.

No person with children that age should be taking off recreationally for six nights. My DH would never have done it. He did for work but wouldn't ever have done so for that sort of thing.

Six nights!! That’s outrageous with children of those ages. I’m usually a suck it up everyone needs time off person, I’ve got 5 dc and my DH has always gone away a lot, but I would never have given the green light for a six night trip with basically a newborn a big baby and a toddler. And my DH wouldn’t have even considered it. I’m so so sorry, I would be furious. How the hell can he make this up to you?! Can you do a massive online shop and buy the kids a shiny exciting new something to keep them occupied? Can you call friends and ask them to drop in to help maintain your sanity? Can you go away with your family? He’s an absolute bellend.

6 nights?? WTAF! No, it’s not acceptable. YANBU.

So he said he wouldn’t be going on any more stag dos now you have 3 DC, but then he booked one?

Didn't you say at point of booking; “you said this wasn’t going to happen any more; are you a man of your word or a liar?”

He's absolutely taking the piss out of you.

Is it abroad? Can you put his passport in a safe space where only you can find it?

6 nights?! Do you know the groom/bride and his mates? Are you sure this is a stag? Because that's not a stag do, it's a holiday. He's totally unreasonable to go obviously.

6 nights is a total piss take.
Book a week away for yourself, for the day he gets back. See how he gets on with 3 under 2.

YANBU

Ask him how he would be happy if you went away for 6 nights?.

If he does go, once you are not breastfeeding, you should go away - even if it is staying with a friend or in a Travelodge. He can find what a challenge it is while you get some much needed sleep.

He's leaving you alone with three babies to go out drinking for six nights with his mates?!!

Selfish twat.

@Ohlifelife what she said

That isn’t a stag night. It’s a holiday. Utterly ridiculous. But also, what were you thinking with that baby-spacing?

My DH would never have considered something like this

Any parent of young children leaving them for 6 nights for leisure is taking the piss in my opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️ 6 nights is completely unnecessary.

I do get how hard it is being on your own @Nattylion - my DH works at sea for weeks at a time, DC don’t sleep well, we have no local support and I have an autoimmune disorder that causes me a lot of health issues, but you really will manage 😊

What has he said when you say you don’t want him going?

Agree with everyone saying six nights for a stag do is mental. Until fairly recently it was a stag/ hen night (singular) that people had. Then it became a couple of nights away, and now seemingly your husband is going on a whole holiday for his friend’s stag. Unbelievable when he has such tiny kids, so close in age.

He shouldn’t be going on this at all.

Ridiculous.