Why does he remember everything I post

[Janelizzy]

I have been talking to a man from out of state intermittently. I don’t take it seriously; the conversation is enjoyable, and we have a lot in common, but I don’t have high expectations for it.

I’ve noticed that he remembers everything I post on social media and brings it up. If we go a week or two without talking, he reminds me about my posts. For example, I posted a picture of my cousin's arm while we were out for dinner, and he mentioned that I go on dates. When I denied it, he responded, saying, “You were on a date last week; arm on your story.” I can hardly keep track of my own social media, so how does he remember everything I post?

I recently told him that I haven’t had a drink in months, and he responded, “You had drinks a few weeks ago; you posted it.” He seems to remember everything—every picture and every quote. I have watched so many movies on Tubi; maybe I’m overreacting since I haven’t even met him yet. However, if I decide to take a leap and see him, are these concerns valid?

The he started bringing up other women while I was on the phone with him

He’ll be like “I’m tired of stupid women, why is this girl texting me”.

“The restaurant you showed me, I know the girl that works there”

“On the plane they have barf bags, when I was on vacation with this girl she used one”

later that day he called me
update he called me later that night, I’m visiting his state soon cause I have a family reunion down there planned. He sent me some hotel suggestions, yet got soo upset when I wouldn’t tell him what hotel I’m staying out. He said well why are you being weird why won’t you tell me what room you’re staying out he was almost yelling. Then told me that I didn’t need to rent a car, that I could just drive his …..

I know this is all over the place but why is he acting like this ….. why does he care especially since he said he’s not looking for anything serious

Who cares why?

He's reading and re-reading your every post, with an unhealthy level of interest.

He's pulling you up on casual comments when he's just some random bloke on the internet

He's trying to track your plans for your visit.

The moment he asked for your hotel/room number, I'd have blocked him.

Borrowing someone's car implies a level of trust that does not exist, and would allow him to track your movements.

At best he is obsessive, manipulative and controlling. Block him and run for the hills. Don't stay at any of the hotels he suggested. Don't share personal details with random strangers again.

OP, I say this genuinely I am seriously worried for you. You are not seeing all of the big red flags 🚩 we are seeing.

Please take the steps PPs have suggested immediately.

Stop questioning his motives it does not matter.

This man seriously sounds unhinged & controlling. You haven’t even been on a first date & already he is behaving like he owns you & has a right to know what you are doing.

That is not normal behaviour.

Tell him something has come up & that you have had to change your plans & BLOCK HIM ON EVERYTHING.

Then you need to take steps to lock your social media down. Make all of your accounts private & go through all of your followers. If you don’t recognise someone remove, even if you are unsure remove! If you remove a friend unknowingly they will soon tell you & you can add them back.

Also make sure that your hse if it is on Google Street View get it blurred out by Google. You just need to go to Street View, click Report a Problem & request for your property to be blurred out.

Make sure there is no information available publicly on you. Sorry I am not sure where you are so pls do whatever is the next step in getting this info unavailable for where you are. That includes the Electoral Register.

That then just leaves your phone number. Does he have it? Could he find it? Can you change it?

It may sound extreme taking these steps but these days we know there are a lot of crazies out there so we have to take precautions.

Do bear in mind that if at any point he does something to alarm you, you need to go to the Police. Do not hesitate or overthink it.

Especially if after locking all your Social Media down you hear from him you go to the Police.

Pls let us/me know that you have locked all of your profiles etc down.

This action is not an overreaction at all. You are taking action against a man who is displaying unhealthy behaviours that are clear red flags.

One last point which is important take Screenshots of all of his conversations and please tell your Family & Friends so that they are aware of this situation and the action that you have taken. Does your Family know your movements & routine? You need to ensure that your loved ones know.

This isn’t to alarm anyone but to ensure that someone will always be able to check in with you.

Im 50 & still my parents check in as I do them and the same with my own family.

Well done for reaching out to get other people’s thoughts on your situation.

Sometimes it can be difficult to see a situation for what it is when you are in the thick of it all.

^this is spot on.

I don’t think OP wants to block him - she’s looking for people to say that he’s obviously into her and likes her more than he admits.

OP it’s up to you if you want to put yourself in danger.

At best he’s a controlling stalker who wants to keep you on your toes while mentioning his other women while ensuring you’re not having fun - at worst he’s a dangerous, aggressive man who has a temper.

If your bar is so low you’re viewing his behaviour as some kind of strange proof he likes you, I don’t know what else to say.

If you have even a shred of sense you’ll do what PP suggest and block him on everything.

Im actually not enjoying this .. I’m confused with the behavior it’s like jacqueline high? I just wanted some clarification and opinions.

He sounds intense, I'd stop communicating with him

Well you've had lots. He sounds unsafe. Lock down social media and run.

Who is Jaqueline High?

It’s a saying, when someone act one way to you, then the next act different.

I think it’s an autocorrect / mishearing of Jekyll and Hyde.

And OP, listen to everyone on here. He sounds dangerous.

He also got out of a 4 year relationship like 5 months ago

You are sharing too much on open social media, Op.

Many people remember what they read.
It isn't that odd to read what a person posts.

You need to change the settings on your facebook.

Restrict what you share with some people. Allocate some people as close friends and others as contacts, work mates etc.

This guy doesn't need to know anything more about you.
You seem unable to watch out for yourself, naive perhaps.

People do lie. He’s saying he’s casual but then he’s acting like a possessive, creepy stalker. Listen to his actions and walk away.

OP do you have a history of poor relationships or of none at all?
I otherwise don't understand why you are wasting time thinking about this man.
He definitely is bad news. He will be controlling, he obviously has a low opinion of women and is a creep.
Anyone one of those is reason to walk away.
No.point trying to understand him. He is not worth the energy.
Most people who have healthy outlooks on relationships would walk away at anyone of the above red flags. If you are not it is a major issue.
Trying to analyse a wanker is pointless. Instead save your energy to find a decent guy.

I would.look to doing the freedom programme as I fear you have such a low bar. This will.help you spot all of these red flags and then just leave.

I'd agree. Ffs just block him. Or admit you are enjoying the attention 🙄

Run.

He also got out of a 4 year relationship like 5 months ago

What difference does that make?

Ultimately, you know something is wrong, you posted because you have a gut feeling. You need to listen to yourself - trust yourself.

DF was warned, 10 years later and 2 more children she was left battered from his rages and jealously, left with nothing to feed the kids, affairs, STDs - and it doesn’t end there with custody battles, threats, police, social services.

If this is what you are looking for crack on, but you have been warned by several posters who can see coming

Once hooked he won’t let go. You’ll never have a social life, you’ll never meet your friends, End it while you still have your own life. .

Run a mile, this is loony material.
I can hear the red flags in the wind from here!!!

What do you mean once hooked he won’t let go? I don’t even live in the same state as him ? We’ve been talking on and off since may. I ended things with him the first time