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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why does he remember everything I post

154 replies

Janelizzy · 17/08/2025 21:21

I have been talking to a man from out of state intermittently. I don’t take it seriously; the conversation is enjoyable, and we have a lot in common, but I don’t have high expectations for it.

I’ve noticed that he remembers everything I post on social media and brings it up. If we go a week or two without talking, he reminds me about my posts. For example, I posted a picture of my cousin's arm while we were out for dinner, and he mentioned that I go on dates. When I denied it, he responded, saying, “You were on a date last week; arm on your story.” I can hardly keep track of my own social media, so how does he remember everything I post?

I recently told him that I haven’t had a drink in months, and he responded, “You had drinks a few weeks ago; you posted it.” He seems to remember everything—every picture and every quote. I have watched so many movies on Tubi; maybe I’m overreacting since I haven’t even met him yet. However, if I decide to take a leap and see him, are these concerns valid?

The he started bringing up other women while I was on the phone with him

He’ll be like “I’m tired of stupid women, why is this girl texting me”.

“The restaurant you showed me, I know the girl that works there”

“On the plane they have barf bags, when I was on vacation with this girl she used one”

later that day he called me
update he called me later that night, I’m visiting his state soon cause I have a family reunion down there planned. He sent me some hotel suggestions, yet got soo upset when I wouldn’t tell him what hotel I’m staying out. He said well why are you being weird why won’t you tell me what room you’re staying out he was almost yelling. Then told me that I didn’t need to rent a car, that I could just drive his …..

I know this is all over the place but why is he acting like this ….. why does he care especially since he said he’s not looking for anything serious

OP posts:
glittercunt · 18/08/2025 11:41

He's got sos many red flags he could open a bunting factory.

I got involved with someone like this (one of many during one of many vulnerable times) and I mistook the controlling for care, due to the situation I'd not long left.

He stalked the way yours does. Required every detail of my life, movements, who I was with etc but gave very little away himself. Was guilty of doing everything he accused me of.

I got away before anything truly life changing happened but he had such a hold on me.

He had groomed me, I wasn't the first, and he had someone else on the back burner who he was also grooming while I was involved.

Please, block this man.

Crunchymum · 18/08/2025 11:45

Are you the same poster who is meant to be moving to his state soon?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5388366-why-is-he-acting-like-this

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 18/08/2025 11:55

Crunchymum · 18/08/2025 11:45

Are you the same poster who is meant to be moving to his state soon?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5388366-why-is-he-acting-like-this

Edited

Oh dear 🤔.

OP, the question is, why do you like it? What are you going to do about it? Are you going to read the answers here and act on them?

AquaFurball · 18/08/2025 14:13

Oh dear @Janelizzy posting history shows you aren't bothered by this creepy stalker at all as long as he keeps sending you money. Accepting money from a controlling man you've never met is beyond stupid, he's already bought you and now he's entitled to control you.

You would have blocked him already if you weren't getting something out of it.

ConstableStable · 18/08/2025 14:15

I voted YABU but I meant YABU to even entertain the thought of seeing this guy again. He sounds deranged.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 18/08/2025 14:17

Why does he do it?
Because he's a controlling twat and he's telling you very clearly that he is.
tbh the question really is why aren't you walking away from someone who is unable to walk under the weight of the red flags he's flying.

ormiwtbte · 18/08/2025 16:50

Pointless thread given the backstory. I posted on your other thread.
The guy's a nutter and a waste of space and you should be ending this and blocking him on everything not analyzing all his behaviour in detail and thinking about moving to his state.

Janelizzy · 18/08/2025 18:03

ormiwtbte · 18/08/2025 16:50

Pointless thread given the backstory. I posted on your other thread.
The guy's a nutter and a waste of space and you should be ending this and blocking him on everything not analyzing all his behaviour in detail and thinking about moving to his state.

I’ve been wanting to move there before I met him. So this isn’t me wanting to move to his state, he’s not even from there. This is me wanting to move for ME to a place that I want to move too … He’s blocked

OP posts:
ormiwtbte · 18/08/2025 18:17

Janelizzy · 18/08/2025 18:03

I’ve been wanting to move there before I met him. So this isn’t me wanting to move to his state, he’s not even from there. This is me wanting to move for ME to a place that I want to move too … He’s blocked

Thank fuck for that.
Keep him blocked and don't entertain people like that ever again. First sign of them being a nutter and they get blocked.

UnderstoodBetsy · 18/08/2025 18:41

Jacqueline High has made my day.

Middleagedspreadisreal · 18/08/2025 18:42

Jacqueline High 🤣🤣🤣🤣

NoSoupForU · 18/08/2025 18:44

Some people notice and remember details. There's nothing wrong with that.

However, I wouldn't like someone who kept correcting me or grilling me. And the mentioning other women so much smacks of jealousy, low self esteem and mind games which I'd have no time for whatsoever.

MsDitsy · 18/08/2025 19:15

There could be two scenarios to your post. 1, he is a weirdo stalker who you would do well to block. 2, you are enjoying this, likes that he seems obsessed with you and are not blocking him as you want it to continue.

It's blatantly obvious that something isn't right, so much so that it almost seems made up.

Janelizzy · 18/08/2025 19:40

MsDitsy · 18/08/2025 19:15

There could be two scenarios to your post. 1, he is a weirdo stalker who you would do well to block. 2, you are enjoying this, likes that he seems obsessed with you and are not blocking him as you want it to continue.

It's blatantly obvious that something isn't right, so much so that it almost seems made up.

No I personally don’t think he’s obsessed, cause he can go days without initiating contact with me. I personally think he’s just playing games

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 18/08/2025 19:51

@glittercunt I roared at ‘bunting factory’ - I am stealing that if you don’t mind!

HesarealJacquelineHigh · 18/08/2025 20:01

Couldn't resist a name change

Totemoneru · 18/08/2025 20:06

Janelizzy · 17/08/2025 21:21

I have been talking to a man from out of state intermittently. I don’t take it seriously; the conversation is enjoyable, and we have a lot in common, but I don’t have high expectations for it.

I’ve noticed that he remembers everything I post on social media and brings it up. If we go a week or two without talking, he reminds me about my posts. For example, I posted a picture of my cousin's arm while we were out for dinner, and he mentioned that I go on dates. When I denied it, he responded, saying, “You were on a date last week; arm on your story.” I can hardly keep track of my own social media, so how does he remember everything I post?

I recently told him that I haven’t had a drink in months, and he responded, “You had drinks a few weeks ago; you posted it.” He seems to remember everything—every picture and every quote. I have watched so many movies on Tubi; maybe I’m overreacting since I haven’t even met him yet. However, if I decide to take a leap and see him, are these concerns valid?

The he started bringing up other women while I was on the phone with him

He’ll be like “I’m tired of stupid women, why is this girl texting me”.

“The restaurant you showed me, I know the girl that works there”

“On the plane they have barf bags, when I was on vacation with this girl she used one”

later that day he called me
update he called me later that night, I’m visiting his state soon cause I have a family reunion down there planned. He sent me some hotel suggestions, yet got soo upset when I wouldn’t tell him what hotel I’m staying out. He said well why are you being weird why won’t you tell me what room you’re staying out he was almost yelling. Then told me that I didn’t need to rent a car, that I could just drive his …..

I know this is all over the place but why is he acting like this ….. why does he care especially since he said he’s not looking for anything serious

This one is really easy.
If it feels wrong, it probably is.
Trust your gut.

Janelizzy · 18/08/2025 20:33

Then he said “I don’t care about what you do, I’m not worrying about you that much”. “I’m not calling you every day worrying about your itinerary, asking you for your room number, I don’t even remember the day you’re coming out here”… “you act like I’m going to sit out side of the hotel room and stalk you” ….

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 18/08/2025 20:42

Janelizzy · 18/08/2025 20:33

Then he said “I don’t care about what you do, I’m not worrying about you that much”. “I’m not calling you every day worrying about your itinerary, asking you for your room number, I don’t even remember the day you’re coming out here”… “you act like I’m going to sit out side of the hotel room and stalk you” ….

What do mean ‘then he said’ - he’s blocked isn’t he? This is over isn’t it?

Zucker · 18/08/2025 21:00

Jacqueline High and the "Survival instincts of a baked potato" (thank you JoyousRaven for that one)

Amazing thread 😂

Janelizzy · 18/08/2025 21:02

Arlanymor · 18/08/2025 20:42

What do mean ‘then he said’ - he’s blocked isn’t he? This is over isn’t it?

This was before I blocked him. During the conversation of him getting mad about the hotel

OP posts:
BusWankers · 18/08/2025 21:08

Janelizzy · 18/08/2025 20:33

Then he said “I don’t care about what you do, I’m not worrying about you that much”. “I’m not calling you every day worrying about your itinerary, asking you for your room number, I don’t even remember the day you’re coming out here”… “you act like I’m going to sit out side of the hotel room and stalk you” ….

Of course he knows/remembers.

I thought you'd blocked him?

Arlanymor · 18/08/2025 21:30

Janelizzy · 18/08/2025 21:02

This was before I blocked him. During the conversation of him getting mad about the hotel

So why mention it? After ‘blocked’ that’s the end of any conversation about him, unless you are feeling lonely and want a bit of validation and support?

JohnTheRevelator · 18/08/2025 21:36

He was almost yelling at you? Wow. I'd give this one a miss tbh!

XWKD · 18/08/2025 21:38

I have a friend who remembers every little detail of everything, so that in itself might not be weird, but he sounds like a psycho.

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