I have a meeting on GCSE results day

[Bertybop]

I have a meeting on GCSE results day which means I'm not going to be there when my step son gets his results.

AIBU or is this not a huge deal? I don't remember my parents even coming with me to get mine, I just went in with a friend to collect them.

Some context:

My meeting means I have to be in the office which is an hour and a half from home (I'm usually WFH). I go into the office once a month for a compulsory meeting.

DH is also WFH normally but has just had a promotion which has dramatically increased how many online calls he has to be in and he's interviewing people (online) on GCSE results day as well.

DC's school is 45 minutes from our house (he moved in unexpectedly at the beginning of the year which is why it's so far away) so taking him to get his results is at the very least going to take two hours (to get there and back, collect them/see friends etc).

He's no contact with his mum.

I couldnt take annual leave for that day as I used my last day of leave for his 16th birthday.

I hadn't spoken to DC yet to tell him it'll be my dad (he's retired and he and dc get along really well) taking him to get his results but DH accidentally let it slip in the car yesterday that I had to be in the office that day (wasn't done on purpose, he was just trying to figure out what we were both doing next week). DC then told me afterwards that he was upset that I wasn't going to be there and was very off about it.

I understand he wanted me there but AIBU to think this isn't a huge deal? I won't be there in person but I would've rung him as soon as possible after my meeting. He's going to smash his results, I have no doubts about that at all.

I just literally can't do anything to get out of this meeting but now I'm feeling guilty as hell. When I asked people I work with what their teenagers did they said they just went with mates to get them. And tbh I would've assumed he wanted to go with his girlfriend.

It really is different for each individual child on whether they want their parents there or not I guess. It is nice though he wants you there. In Scotland all children receiving exam results get their results the same day via post or a text goes out at 8am. I remember I waited all day for the post when I done my highest (a levels) and it turns out the school hadn’t updated my address even though I’d moved for over a year lol!! Thankfully my wee gran drove to the house I stayed in and chapped the door and got the big envelope for me. All my friend had their results hours before me I was a wreck lol!

One of you needs to be there. Phone in sick if that is literally the only option. It sounds like he's had a hard time if he's not speaking to his mum. Meetings (and jobs) come and go. Children don't and he'll remember it forever. Doesn't matter that others go alone, he didn't want to.

Hopefully he is mature enough to accept that work commitments mean he will have to get them in his own. I go in to school on Results’ Day and many come on their own.

I accidentally booked a holiday for when my DD picked up hers 🤷‍♀️ she went with friends, had a lovely time and FaceTimed me when she got home!!

My parents didn’t come with me for gcse or a levels. It wouldn’t have even occurred to me to have them come. Are his friend’s parents coming?

I went on my own to get mine and called my mum. Nothing at all wrong with that. When I was a teacher, not everyone could take a half day off to come in with their child.

It’s a big deal to him. Some want the support some don’t. If he’s recently moved in ft and now has no contact tgen it’s understandable he craves tge security.

But, life isn’t like that unfortunately. Youve done what you can and he will have support and a celebration in the evening

My daughter doesn’t want me there! Said no one else’s parents are going and it’ll be embarrassing!

For the people not going, what happens if the results aren’t very good?. I can’t bear the thought of my child being alone and upset and I’m not there to comfort them. When I got mine all the parents were there- I remember reading my paper and passing to my mum and her crying next to me (thankfully happy tears!) . Didn’t occur to me to not go for my children.

One of you should have booked the day off. If his results are lower than expected, he'll need moral support and someone to get Plan B together - and fast. I speak from bitter experience.

It is lovely that you have such a good relationship that he is disappointed you won't be there. Sometimes life gets in the way and things are scheduled for important dates, if you have no AL you have to be at work. If its a working day you can't exactly refuse the meeting. If your DH has AL he should have taken it. My daughter gets her results in Thursday too, I can't book AL as I have a really important meeting that I have to attend, there was one meeting this week or next week but I am away next week. My DH will wfh so he is available if she needs him we live 5 mins from the school and she will go early and pick them up.
You have already made plans to have your dad on hand who will take him for a burger so you have done your best

I missed my ds1 a level
results day last year and ds2 gcse results day because I was doing the data on those days for another secondary schools’ results.

So dad took them.

Is your DH not concerned about not being there to support his DS?

A "recent promotion" means he could have said he has previous commitments, or, given that he's now very important, that he can control his diary.

I'd feel shit if I was your stepson, but not because of you.

Can he get to school without someone taking him? I’m guessing those saying their children go alone can walk or get a bus to school. It isn’t so easy if you have to take them.

I’m taking my daughter as we live a fair distance from school but the school did give the option of posting direct and they will be uploading results on go4schools in the afternoon.

I picked up my gcse results late as it was my FILs funeral that morning. Parents weren't with me, but rang them as soon as i was able.
Would have gone on my own otherwise.

He has to understand you cant leave the office, as much as you have tried to, and will celebrate when you get home.

Definitely a big deal. All that work, revision, worry. My DD is going to school with her friends and will call me with her results. When she comes home i will be there for her. my mum didn’t give a shit, I got no well done or taken out for a special meal as my sisters did. Do something to celebrate this milestone.

I have been through GCSE and A level results three times with my older children. Two out of three were from abroad together with the children. The results appear online, so don't understand the issue here.
Once I collected the GCSE results for the child who was abroad. He didn't make it at one of the subjects, and I had to act quickly, arrange a meeting with head of sixth form, who advised applying for remarking. I paid for remarking 2 minutes before the exam office closed, had a dark look from the exam officer who said it was in vain, but in the end they changed my DS's grade and he made it to the sixth form.

It's important to him. Just take the morning off !

Getting good or bad gcse results is not life changing, a small set back at 16.

My (2 so far) DCs have not had their results online. I don't think that's standard. We had to go in person to collect.

OP in truth at my DCs school the majority have had parents there for GCSE and A level results. Just done the latter with one. However, if it's impossible for.eithher of you to be there, then you've done the next best thing and arranged for someone else to be there. Your mistake really was in not telling him. You could have explained it properly instead of him having a shock realisation. Sounds like the poor kid has been through a lot and needs to know you've got his back. More so than a teen with a more secure family life.

I went with my friends to get my results. I don’t think anyone’s parents attended.

I would change it.

I started a new job in the day ds1 got his GCSE results. He said it was fine and it didn’t occur to me that that wouid be a problem or I’d be needed, in fact, he’d done far worse than expected and there was a lot of fallout, and I was at work with my phone off and unable to be there for him or take the calls from school etc. Very stressful for all concerned.

I dont think its life changing, I dont even think parents need to be there however results day is known all year so really someone could have made sure they were there, or at least asked him about it. Neither of mine were bothered, I went anyway and took them for food after. My job is really flexible but I booked it in as soon as we knew the date anyway. DH didnt go.

He thinks it's important & that's all that matters

Same, no ones parents went when I got mine, mine were both working anyway, I went with a friend. That was 1996.