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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have a meeting on GCSE results day

218 replies

Bertybop · 17/08/2025 16:51

I have a meeting on GCSE results day which means I'm not going to be there when my step son gets his results.

AIBU or is this not a huge deal? I don't remember my parents even coming with me to get mine, I just went in with a friend to collect them.

Some context:

My meeting means I have to be in the office which is an hour and a half from home (I'm usually WFH). I go into the office once a month for a compulsory meeting.

DH is also WFH normally but has just had a promotion which has dramatically increased how many online calls he has to be in and he's interviewing people (online) on GCSE results day as well.

DC's school is 45 minutes from our house (he moved in unexpectedly at the beginning of the year which is why it's so far away) so taking him to get his results is at the very least going to take two hours (to get there and back, collect them/see friends etc).

He's no contact with his mum.

I couldnt take annual leave for that day as I used my last day of leave for his 16th birthday.

I hadn't spoken to DC yet to tell him it'll be my dad (he's retired and he and dc get along really well) taking him to get his results but DH accidentally let it slip in the car yesterday that I had to be in the office that day (wasn't done on purpose, he was just trying to figure out what we were both doing next week). DC then told me afterwards that he was upset that I wasn't going to be there and was very off about it.

I understand he wanted me there but AIBU to think this isn't a huge deal? I won't be there in person but I would've rung him as soon as possible after my meeting. He's going to smash his results, I have no doubts about that at all.

I just literally can't do anything to get out of this meeting but now I'm feeling guilty as hell. When I asked people I work with what their teenagers did they said they just went with mates to get them. And tbh I would've assumed he wanted to go with his girlfriend.

OP posts:
jasminocereusbritannicus · 17/08/2025 20:23

None of my 3 wanted me to go with them to get their results. They were meeting up with their friends and then came home to tell me in their own time.
It is better to let them get on with it, I think.

MillingAround · 17/08/2025 20:26

Poor boy. His dad needs to be there for him. These are the sorts of things that stay with you.

Growlybear83 · 17/08/2025 20:27

I’m not sure it matters what other people’s children did or didn’t want - the important thing is that this boy clearly DID want a parent to go with him. It’s all very well saying that they know they will achieve their expected grades, but things do go wrong sometimes and a parent needs to be on hand if that’s the case.

mynameiscalypso · 17/08/2025 20:29

Of course, lots of people get results without their parents there. But it sounds like it’s been a tough year for DS if he’s moved in with you and gone NC with his mum. I’d do anything to be there if I could - surely your DH could move or postpone an online interview to give him a window to take DS?

SeptaUnellasBell · 17/08/2025 20:36

Momononoyoooo · 17/08/2025 19:01

Not a big deal. I went alone and got my results and my parents worked. I went in the AM and went straight to my factory Summer Job and told my parents the next days.
Kids these days are so soft and entitled.
I worked 2 miles from my house and 3 miles from my school, i used to walk to and from work and school unless the weather was really really bad.

I’m assuming that, to be able to compare yourself to this child, that you had no contact with your mother and the backstory that the no contact comes with? If not, then what your experience was, is entirely irrelevant.

AuntyBulgaria · 17/08/2025 20:56

It didn't even cross my mind to go with my son, he went into school by himself last year. I think most of the kids did.

Crazybigtoe · 17/08/2025 20:57

Could you work out a Plan B with him before the day? I think this is why parents go... In case they get worse results than expected and change of subject (or even 6th form....) may be needed... I know if my DD does worse than expected, then we need to enrol in a different place. If she totally has crashed, then there is a Plan C.... Maybe discuss this with him (and whoever is taking him on the day...) so there is alignment and no conflict / confusion on the day?

StampOnTheGround · 17/08/2025 21:11

When we all got our GCSE results, which was 2009! I didn’t see a single parent there, we all opened them together - called/texted parents and then had drinks!

StampOnTheGround · 17/08/2025 21:11

Oh and for what it’s worth, my mum worked part time and results day wasn’t a day she worked - she was at home but it wouldn’t have crossed our minds that she came!

LlynTegid · 17/08/2025 21:15

I think you should have asked for this allegedly important meeting to be on a different day, and GSCE results day would have been known about in January. I doubt you are alone at work in having a child of that age, others at work could be affected.

TheCurious0range · 17/08/2025 21:17

I don't think this is on you, but it is on his dad, for a 16 year old to not have contact with his mum and to have moved this year he's obviously had a tough time. He needs to feel supported and like a priority for one of his parents. His father should've said when he took the promotion, I will need annual leave on this date. I feel sad for him.

Liliwen · 17/08/2025 21:23

His dad should be there. Results day is not a surprise. He should have planned to be there

Aspanielstolemysanity · 17/08/2025 21:25

I can't understand why neither of you thought to discuss it with him and /or make sure one of you wasn't tied up in meetings.

Aspanielstolemysanity · 17/08/2025 21:26

TheCurious0range · 17/08/2025 21:17

I don't think this is on you, but it is on his dad, for a 16 year old to not have contact with his mum and to have moved this year he's obviously had a tough time. He needs to feel supported and like a priority for one of his parents. His father should've said when he took the promotion, I will need annual leave on this date. I feel sad for him.

Exactly!!

I'm in senior management and even my peers would keep the day free of meetings for something like this

Aspanielstolemysanity · 17/08/2025 21:27

I went to get results with my friends, but my mum made sure she booked the day off to be around "just in case"

Pricelessadvice · 17/08/2025 21:28

In my day, parents didn’t get involved. I met my mates and we all opened our results together. Then I went home and told my mum.

BCBird · 17/08/2025 21:29

Age mid 50s . Mine came through post. We had to .provide stamped- addressed envelope. In my 30 yrsvof teaching most kids did not come with parents to pick up results

BCBird · 17/08/2025 21:30

What are his peers doing? Let this be dad's guide of what you do.

StMarie4me · 17/08/2025 21:31

farmergirl15 · 17/08/2025 16:59

My mum came with me to get mine, I wouldn’t dream of letting my kids by themselves. Having said that, it’s an impossible situation, you’ve already said there’s nothing you can do. Could the meeting be pushed back? Or could you join remotely for part of the meeting and then join later?

Many 16 year olds don’t want their parents there. It’s an odd concept to me tbh! Just talk to him about life in the real world, and let him meet up with his friends.

Ineffable23 · 17/08/2025 21:34

I get you not being able to rearrange things but I'm surprised your husband can't if he's now senior at work. At my work interviews are arranged at the interviewer's convenience and they just wouldn't book interviews on results day if they wanted to be off. Did he forget or something?

Pinepeak2434 · 17/08/2025 21:35

The only thing I remember about my results day is that I went to collect them on my own and only one of the parents within my friendship group went in with them. When my son collected his, I drove him and waited in the car - and that was he’s choice for me to drive him etc I let him take the lead on what he wanted to do. He made his own way and went in alone to collect his A Levels then called me.

Newgirls · 17/08/2025 21:37

It is so common at our work for parents to take a half day for results - a level and gcse. Even if they don’t go in to school they are at home or close by for celebrations or support when it goes wrong. Dad should have asked him weeks ago what he wanted not talked about it a few days before

ormiwtbte · 17/08/2025 21:41

His father should be rescheduling meetings or taking the day off, not you.

There's obviously a lot gone on there if he's NC with this mother and hasn't been living with you that long. He wants someone to be there with him and it should be his dad.

It's all very well lots of people on here saying they didn't go in with their kids or they themselves didn't have parents there but this boy's circumstances are different.

lunar1 · 17/08/2025 21:43

One of you needs to go, it’s not like when we hit them, everyone had parents. Think it’s a pretty poor effort that the day of the results is known so long in advance, why on earth didn’t his dad book leave?

MrsKeats · 17/08/2025 21:43

FartyBrainedHippo · 17/08/2025 16:57

I’ve not even considered that I should go with my daughter to get her results - I would like her to text
me a copy, and if she doesn’t, we’ll, I’ll take a guess at why!
she has to enroll for 6th form while she’s there, and then I’m hoping she goes to lunch with her friends to celebrate. She wouldn’t thank me for tagging along.

As a teacher I find this attitude so baffling.