To ask DH to contribute some money for summer

[snailandwhale25]

DH and I do have separate finances which I know isn’t for everybody but it’s just how we do things. He earns a lot more but in fairness pays for a lot more as well.

We have two children and I seem to be haemorrhaging money this summer. It isn’t even expensive days out, even things like a trip to the park once you’ve factored in parking and ice creams can leave not much change from £20. Plus because I’m with them in the one buying eg sun cream, snacks, groceries so we have food for dinner etc.

I’ve managed until now but payday is next week and I’ve barely anything. It isn’t unreasonable to ask DH to send some money over, is it?

If you're married you are financially one entity, so completely pointless having two separate accounts.

Keep two separate for fun money if you want, but just get a joint account. He should of course be paying for his kids.

Of course not. I am sure if the shoe was on the other foot he would do the same. Can you add up what you have spent so far and ask for half.

YABU to wonder if it’s reasonable to ask him! I would just tell him that you need more money and for the reasons you’ve put in your post.

Joint account for kids / home / family life.
separate account for gym membership, daily coffee, additional personal optional expenses, birthday/xmas gifts for each other.

Of course he should contribute to the cost of entertaining DC over the summer, but fwiw, I thought of it as failure if I had to buy snacks or drinks on a trip to the park.

I always took them with me because, as you say it adds up astonishing quickly and who wants to spend £100 pw on trips to the park, even if you can afford it?

Thing with a joint account is it just doesn’t work, for all sorts of reasons! Mostly it’s fine it’s just obviously with it being summer it means they are with me all the time and no food from school / nursery to help with the grocery bill. They also need entertaining!

Of course it’s reasonable. Would it be easier to have a joint credit card for food/kid related expenses thst gets paid off every month.

But yes just say I’ve spent £££ on kids can you contribute as I’m running low.

They’re his kids!

why would asking him for money towards raising them be unreasonable.

I know people like separate accounts and often money is paid in proportionately but that only works if your portion isn’t the only one funding their childrens activities

He should be contributing to entertaining his children. I don't know how you want to do that if you want to decide on a budget and then have him pay a proportion of his income into it and then you pay a proportion of your income into it but he can't just leave it all to you.

We have two children and I seem to be haemorrhaging money this summer. It isn’t even expensive days out, even things like a trip to the park once you’ve factored in parking and ice creams can leave not much change from £20. Plus because I’m with them in the one buying eg sun cream, snacks, groceries so we have food for dinner etc.

I don’t understand why you’d think it wasn’t his responsibility to contribute to all this.

When you say he pays more, what does that entail? What’s your financial setup? Who pays for stuff for the kids, normally? Groceries and so on? Do you have a joint account into which you both pay a set amount for this sort of thing? If not, you clearly need one.

We run our finances in the same was as you. I mentioned it to DH yesterday and he immediately transferred me over a chunk of money to cover the additional outgoings. No problem at all. Having separate finances works best for us overall but we both acknowledge that sometimes it gets out of kilter for whatever reason.

Of course it does. You just have to set it up in a way that works for you specifically. You don't have to pool everything you could both contribute to a joint account that groceries and expenses for the children comes from and keep everything else separate if you want.

I don't understand how you split your finances. Do you normally pay for everything relating to the children and he pays for everything else? It seems a funny way of sharing costs.
I don't see why you can't organise a joint account for this sort of thing.

Anyway, in terms of asking for more, it really depends where that money is going and what is spare. Does he have more fun money than you as he earns more? Does he usually put surplus in savings for you both?
Yes you need more money but I think you should also look at how as a family your money is budgeted - if yours is all gone but he has plenty to spare this doesn't sound like a fair arrangement.

You may not split finances, so to speak, but he should still be contributing 50% to child related expenses.

I suppose I generally feel that because he pays for most other stuff I should pay for them.

I’m not totally sure I’m following the post about being a failure if you buy snacks - either way they have to be paid for. And yes re the ice cream van you can say no but it’s a shame to do so every time. Even with packed lunches I’m definitely finding the food bill has shot up!

If you’re wondering if you’re U for asking him for money, it’s your current arrangement that doesn’t work.

They are his kids?

Not unreasonable at all.
i bet if you mention the jump in the outgoings he’ll offer to transfer money to you.
I know my partner does/would.

Who normally pays for children's activities?

In this set up it might be easier to make a joint pot specifically for kids spending during the holidays.

Then you equally contribute PLUS you have a budget to stick to.

Yes, his children

I just considered it was a failure in my planning if I had to buy a drink or food out, when I could take it from home much more cheaply. My DC weren't used to routinely having ice creams etc and it was a big treat when they did.

But either way, of course he should be contributing.

We do the same OP and your DH needs to contribute - transfer some money or give you some cash.

The first school hols was a learning curve for me re this and since then DH either transfers money over off own back or I ask him for some.
Also, try not to spend every day, or always feel you have to buy food / ice creams at park or wherever. I always take food with us from home (but admittedly usually end up getting a tea or coffee for myself when out to keep going, as we tend to be out for hours!)

Why doesn't it work? My husband and I set one up as soon as we moved in together to cover joint bills. We still have our own accounts too but food, household bills and kids' expenses come from the joint account that we each pay into monthly.

This is insane!!
How do people live like this?
Why isn't he paying his fair share of raising his kids?? Utter madness!

I couldn't live like this, having to ask my husband for money to take our children out for the day.