About Gender neutral loo

paulhollywoodshairgel · 2025-08-14T17:59:39+00:00

I was in a museum today and my daughter (15) left me to go to the loo. She then waved me over.. she said to me.. I’d rather not use the gender neutral loo. I said that’s fine and sent her down a level to the ladies. A woman the approached me and preceded to tell me off for not encouraging my daughter to use the GN loo. How she has a trans child and how are they ever going to feel accepted with people like me around. I’m ND and I always second guess myself 10000 times a day. I wasn’t in the wrong was I?? I just said ok go and use the other separate loo. Surely my child can pee wherever she feels comfortable??!! I hate conflict so I just said ok and walked off!

myplace · 14/08/2025 19:00

You handled it well. No point getting stuck in an argument with someone who isn’t interested in your perspective.

SirBasil · 14/08/2025 19:01

i would have told her to butt out and that her offspring aren't going to be using mine for their experiment.

DrPrunesqualer · 14/08/2025 19:02

Of course you weren’t in the wrong

Men put cameras in these mixed sex toilets and wee all over the floor

Id have told her to mind her own business

AgnesX · 14/08/2025 19:03

Absolute nonsense. Your daughter wanted to use the ladies loo. End of story. It's not for either of you to "support" complete strangers.

corlan · 14/08/2025 19:03

I think it helps to call it what it is - a mixed sex loo. Then it's obvious why you wouldn't want your daughter in there

Inertia · 14/08/2025 19:05

That woman should have minded her own business- she can’t possibly know your daughter’s reasons, and might well end up lecturing a survivor of trauma.

There are valid reasons for avoiding mixed sex toilets.

Ruggerlass · 14/08/2025 19:08

Of course your daughter can chose to use a ladies only loo, but tbh if the gender neutral loo has self-contained cubicles I don’t really see what the issue is. A lot of cafes, restaurants etc, particularly small ones only have one loo. The women who approached you was out of order though.

LittleMG · 14/08/2025 19:10

She was wrong for approaching you your child can wee where she wants. However, I do think your child is being a bit weird, just use the loo fgs. You’ve not got to live there just have a wee and leave. I think I would have encouraged my child to use that loo but tbh my kids wouldn’t have been bothered, why was she so bothered by it?

DisforDarkChocolate · 14/08/2025 19:11

You were far nicer than I would have been. Fuck off my daughter isn't here to validate your child's delusions is what come to my mind. Being kind kills women in many many ways.

FOJN · 14/08/2025 19:11

How dare she emotional blackmail you into trying to force your daughter into an uncomfortable situation. Her child is not your responsibility and women's sense of safety should not be sacrificed in the name of trans acceptance.

You were far more polite than I would have been.

FOJN · 14/08/2025 19:13

LittleMG · 14/08/2025 19:10

She was wrong for approaching you your child can wee where she wants. However, I do think your child is being a bit weird, just use the loo fgs. You’ve not got to live there just have a wee and leave. I think I would have encouraged my child to use that loo but tbh my kids wouldn’t have been bothered, why was she so bothered by it?

Because it's a mixed sex public toilet, she needs no other reason than that. What your children would be comfortable with is irrelevant.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 14/08/2025 19:14

LittleMG · 14/08/2025 19:10

She was wrong for approaching you your child can wee where she wants. However, I do think your child is being a bit weird, just use the loo fgs. You’ve not got to live there just have a wee and leave. I think I would have encouraged my child to use that loo but tbh my kids wouldn’t have been bothered, why was she so bothered by it?

Many women and girls don’t wish to use mixed sex loos for a variety of reasons. It has the square root of fuck all to do with anyone else.

LadyKenya · 14/08/2025 19:14

You must have been talking rather loudly for the Woman to hear in the first place. I would not have bothered saying anything if I was her, it was a waste of her good time.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 14/08/2025 19:15

DisforDarkChocolate · 14/08/2025 19:11

You were far nicer than I would have been. Fuck off my daughter isn't here to validate your child's delusions is what come to my mind. Being kind kills women in many many ways.

This.

DrPrunesqualer · 14/08/2025 19:16

Ruggerlass · 14/08/2025 19:08

Of course your daughter can chose to use a ladies only loo, but tbh if the gender neutral loo has self-contained cubicles I don’t really see what the issue is. A lot of cafes, restaurants etc, particularly small ones only have one loo. The women who approached you was out of order though.

Men put cameras in loos
Having them entirely contained makes this even more likely

FKAT · 14/08/2025 19:16

LittleMG · 14/08/2025 19:10

She was wrong for approaching you your child can wee where she wants. However, I do think your child is being a bit weird, just use the loo fgs. You’ve not got to live there just have a wee and leave. I think I would have encouraged my child to use that loo but tbh my kids wouldn’t have been bothered, why was she so bothered by it?

Struggling to think of anything weirder than taking a vested interest in where a teenage girl goes to the loo. She can go where she likes.

YANBU OP. Your daughter is not some random person's support human.

ThejoyofNC · 14/08/2025 19:16

DisforDarkChocolate · 14/08/2025 19:11

You were far nicer than I would have been. Fuck off my daughter isn't here to validate your child's delusions is what come to my mind. Being kind kills women in many many ways.

Can't say my response would have been much different from this.

She would be sorry she tried it on me because I'd have told her more than she wanted to know.

KnickerlessParsons · 14/08/2025 19:18

Gender neutral mixed sex toilets are always in a disgusting state. Wee everywhere and the seat left up.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 14/08/2025 19:18

These people and their main character syndrome is really quite off putting to the majority of people. The overreach is why most people are turned off by their movement.

FKAT · 14/08/2025 19:20

Main character syndrome is right. The rest of us minions are just moving props in their hero journey - both the child and the mother's.

PinkFrogss · 14/08/2025 19:21

She sounds weirdly invested in what toilet a child is using. A bit creepy if you ask me

Haulage · 14/08/2025 19:22

Her child’s wishes are not more important than your child’s wishes. You handled the situation perfectly.

GCornotGCthatisthequestion · 14/08/2025 19:22

If I wanted to wind a load of people on here up and take screenshots, this is exactly the sort of thing I'd post...

TheSixthBestOption · 14/08/2025 19:22

Your teenage DD is not a tool to be used to prop up someone else's delusion. Mixed sex toilets are much more dangerous for women and girls.

bumbaloo · 14/08/2025 19:24

LadyKenya · 14/08/2025 19:14

You must have been talking rather loudly for the Woman to hear in the first place. I would not have bothered saying anything if I was her, it was a waste of her good time.

Not really