To not remind my husband it's my birthday?

[DoneWithThisShizzle]

That's it exactly. It's my birthday in approximately 24 hours and I think he has forgotten. Hasn't asked what I want or snuck anything into the house. I've answered the door to the postie for the past two weeks and taken in nothing that he hasn't opened and shown me.

So as not to dripfeed, it's his mum's birthday the day after, it's a big one, so he's been organising a party for that (not that I think it's a good excuse to forget mine).

Do I remind him? Or not?

I get what you are saying about usually remembering so you haven't this year had any conversation about your birthday because you've not needed to. But that only makes sense if the birthday is only ever first mentioned by the non-birthday person.

So do you literally never mention it, or anything you might like to do or receive unless he asks you first? When it's getting near to DH's birthday he might mention it and say he's been thinking about something he wants or I might raise it first. But it's just natural for either party to bring it up without that constitute being a reminder.

Many thanks to @MrsSkylerWhitefor snucking, @Daisyvodkafor an absolutely biting and on point post, and to everyone, of course, for making this birthday unforgettable.

I've just had a text message from him (suspect he's just had a reminder) to think about what I want to do for my birthday tomorrow! 🤣☺️🥳 Oh, I have plans honey, plans!

Ooh, have a lovely holiday!

Ooh maybe he's seen this thread 😂

I'd only be annoyed if he forgot every year. It depends on what sort of person he was, if he's overall and considerate and thoughtful person I wouldn't punish him too harshly for forgetting. I'd probably just remind him if I thought he'd forgotten.

I’ve got a terrible memory and it’s better if people do remind me about things. I always say to family that I’m looking forward to my birthday next week. Being a martyr about things achieves nothing but pain.

UPDATE!!
Okay everyone! Our marriage is safe! He's remembered! 😁 He's just sent me a text to tell me to think about what I want to do tomorrow, so I'm guessing that at this point, he had forgotten and has just been reminded 😂

Now, does he have a card and gift or is he going to be running around like a blue arsed fly trying to find something? 🤔🤣🤣🤣

"What have YOU got in mind, darling? I'm sure it'll be lovely" 😆

Oh wow, good catch. Lots of absolutely batshit projection on this thread !!

Ooh! I wonder if I've made it to Reddit. He hangs around there mostly 😂😂

I usually gauge whether my DH’s prezzies are last minute or considered by the state of the wrapping. If they’re beautifully wrapped and bowed, he’s thought about it and it’s all been done in advance. If it’s in a prezzie bag with the card thrown in, then he’s forgotten until the last minute !!

Who do you suspect reminded him?

Ooh, burn! 🔥

🤔 Facebook 😉

You shouldn't have to remind him. However, I do not understand this reluctance to ask or remind him its your birthday. To me, it just seems like causing strife where none need be. Or, you're deliberately waiting for him to forget so you can be outraged. I would not hesitate to remind my husband or say have you got anything planned for birthday, if not, shall I book a meal out? Its slightly different in our respect though, as his birthday is two days before mine. So, it would be pretty hard for him not to remember my birthday.

Fascinating. This story entirely blames one person - the poster's mother - for the situation that came out of this. She should have reminded her husband, she shouldn't have perpetuated tit-for-tat. Except, of course, he did that too. He could have celebrated her next birthday and wiped the plate clean. But he didn't. He forgot in the first place and then he kept the resentment going. Clue: 'tit-for-tat' involves two people's actions, otherwise it's just, well, tit 😆🤔 But that doesn't suit this poster's agenda - repeated with intensity over many posts, as others here have noted - which is to make women entirely responsible for whatever goes wrong and remove any agency in these situations from men. Even though she's also said her dad did loads of terrible things and it was an awful marriage overall As I said, fascinating.

Glad he's woken up now OP! Have a good day tomorrow, whatever it brings 🎂

oh, lol!

What a mature, considered reply !!

I hope you are not disappointed tomorrow and I hope you have a great birthday despite it being outshined by your MILs.... Has he gone big for your big birthdays?

I would like to Thank you as I had forgotten my Wedding Anniversary and have dashed to the shops and bought a Card and Gin to present at lunch as WFH and now look Marvellous, because DH has also indeed forgotten, but at least I remembered first.....

You don’t normally have to remind him. He’s a lovely dh . He knows what date your birthday is.
So don’t “test” him. We all get mixed up with dates at some point ; time running away and not realising what date is.
wait till the morning, if he doesn’t start the day with a “happy birthday” or a “holy crap I bloody forgot what day it is must rush out now” then do a gentle subtle reminder …”do you have anything planned special for tonight so I know what to plan for rest of day” or some such ….hopefully if he’s forgotten he’ll be puzzled and then remember , or you may just need to say “you do knows it’s the 14th today don’t you? “ with a humorous face.

keep it light , and make a big wind up of it for the rest of the day if he did forget. He probably won’t do it agian.

this isn’t a guy who always forgets cos it’s not important enough…if he forgets it’s because he’s human and made an error

If he doesn't usually need reminding why are you on here assuming he's forgotten? Not every present is in a big box...its strange to be talking about how terrible he is, "how can he forget when its literally the day before his mother's?" You don't know he has forgotten yet...tomorrow if he has forgotten then you can have him hung drawn and quarted lol 😆

Did you miss the bit where I said that my birthday is the day before his mother's?

I don't think facebook reminds until the actual day

John, you haven’t mentioned my birthday tomorrow - does somewhere need to be booked for lunch etc are there any plans as if not I want to make some? I know you haven’t forgotten I just don’t want to assume but want to know if there is something already booked I don’t want to double book us

😂😂 You're very welcome! I hope you're going to bask in the glow of superiority 😁

My last big birthday was during lockdown and he did have a party arranged, but which didn't go ahead obvs.