To not remind my husband it's my birthday?

[DoneWithThisShizzle]

That's it exactly. It's my birthday in approximately 24 hours and I think he has forgotten. Hasn't asked what I want or snuck anything into the house. I've answered the door to the postie for the past two weeks and taken in nothing that he hasn't opened and shown me.

So as not to dripfeed, it's his mum's birthday the day after, it's a big one, so he's been organising a party for that (not that I think it's a good excuse to forget mine).

Do I remind him? Or not?

@DoneWithThisShizzle you shouldn't have to remind him it's your birthday. I'd be very disappointed if you had to. Yes he's organising a big do but....

Well, Happy Birthday from me, and some flowers 🌺 🌺 🌺

As for reminding, could you say something like ‘oh, work colleagues & I are going for lunch tomorrow for my birthday, I better not eat too much if you’re taking me to dinner’ - as that way you’re reminding him by assuming he remembered unlike me who completely forgot her wedding anniversary this year without embarrassing him?

If it were me, I wouldn’t say anything. I’d be intrigued to wait and see how it played out.
happy birthday 💐

I mean I don't know how long you've been married but for every year you have been his wife, your birthday has been the day before his mum's. And you know he hasn't forgotten about his mum's. So it seems quite a hard thing to forget? Isn't it more likely he's just bought something that's not as tangible (like he's booked tickets for something on his phone etc), or that he's just better at hiding things than you think he is?

Unless of course he has form for forgetting things or not caring about you or something

What is the point of setting this trap for him?
If he has remembered - you have achieved nothing you wouldn’t have got anyway.
If he has forgotten - you have pretty much guaranteed yourself an argument on your birthday.

Just remind him and have a nice day tomorrow. Life is too short to go looking for fights with people we love.

I’d remind him indirectly.
Otherwise you’ll be more upset on the day if he has forgotten.
Then, if it seems like he had forgotten, talk to him about it at a more neutral time after his mum’s party and let him know you don’t expect to have to remind him again!

If you don’t and he has forgotten, you’re just going to have an even crapper day!!!

Thank you so much for your replies and kind birthday wishes 😘
I'm leaning towards letting it play out, I really don't think he's very good at hiding anything but, you never know! I'd like to be wrong!
As for not embarrassing him @MedievalNunI think reminding him is letting him off the hook because "his feelings" might get hurt.

This! I’d nudge him now so that you have a lovely birthday and not a horrible row. Life is too short to fight with the people you love to score points.

I hear what you're saying. We wouldn't argue, per se, as I don't want it to impact on his mum's celebrations. I will be really hurt though and that's what I'm torn over.

Fair point. I'm already feeling crap about it. I just hate that I have to remind him at all.

Whatever he does for your birthday, match it on his.

So if he gets you nothing, get nothing for him.

Do not remind him!

Even if you remind him now, you’re going to get a last minute effort. Better not to remind him,

I wouldn't say anything because I'd always be wondering if he had actually forgotten or not.

In fact I wouldn't say anything at all and see how long it would take him to realise

He's a great husband to be honest, but has forgotten my birthday once before. I hope you're right and he's booked something for a surprise. But then will I ruin it by reminding him?

Christ I'd hate to be in a marriage like this.

DH and I often forget certain dates and have to be reminded and yes, sometimes that includes birthdays and anniversaries!

"Oi Dave" or "Oi Jan" "Remember it's my birthday next Wednesday."

"Oh bollocks, shit, fuck! Thanks for reminding me".

No drama and no silly games 🤷‍♀️

25 years of marriage and this still works for us.

Remind him. I don't understand this, wait and see business. 😂 Why risk the upset. I love my birthday and I want to enjoy it. Maybe it's not v romantic but I tell my husband what I want to do for my birthday, e.g let's go to this restaurant, can you ask your mum to babysit, I'll be out the following night with friends/family and here's a link to that bag, bracelet I want etc. I'm one of 6 siblings, we didn't have very much growing up. Now I'm an adult and in my 40s I want to enjoy a bit of attention and pampering. Everyone should enjoy their birthday no matter what age.

I would nudge. I didn’t remind one year and DH had completely forgotten and I was very upset. No cards from the children or anything. He was then mortified. The whole thing was a mess really and I vowed I would not risk it again. So I drop hints and if these have not clearly landed ,I get more direct ( but not in a mean way).
I think a breezy ‘Is there time to do anything tomorrow for my birthday or is there too much to do with…. Party etc?’ Say it with a smile and a ‘just checking’ vibe.
Happy Birthday for tomorrow and hope you enjoy your day 💐😊

Oh, I couldn't do that, as tempting as it sounds!

You shouldn't have to remind him , how can he forget!. His mother's birthday is irrelevant. He sounds a terrible husband.

Mine forgot one year. FB reminded him 🙄

I thought buggrit decided to go to Cheshire Oaks on my own. He insisted on taking me bought a nice lunch and a gorgeous hand bag he didn't dare argue with the price 🤣

He hasn't forgotten since.

I really hope he has remembered for you! My husband has always remembered, but doesn't feel he has to do anything, as it's just me! It is so hurtful. I hope he has got you a lovely surprise!

Harsh! We generally remember dates that are important to each other without any prompting, so this is a new and unusual situation.

So what's the problem with being an adult about it and giving him a simple reminder?

Some people forget things sometimes, and sometimes that includes birthdays.