To be so annoyed about the dangers of being a woman?

[Givemeanamethen]

I like to run or go for long walks. I ususally listen to music or books or whatever.

There are some lovely long circular routes near me through woods and along streams. I do do them, but am always slightly on edge because it’s so big that you can go a while without seeing anyone, and if I pass a man I can’t help but think ‘if I was attacked here no one would hear’. I try and do these at busy times, be finished before it starts getting dark and I’d never do it in the rain because of how quiet it would be. It irritates me that men, of course, won’t have to consider any of this.

Tonight, I didn’t have time to go there so did a four mile route from my house. It’s pretty and got a ruralise atmosphere but the roads are relatively busy, for a Sunday night, and there are plenty of houses. I don’t ususally worry at all on this route.

But this evening, some fucking dickhead cycled up behind me, on the path instead of the road, and shouted right in my ear, clearly to try and frighten me and embarrass me, then he and his friend cycled away.

I’m so angry that I can’t even go on a walk without men getting a buzz out of harassing me.

Not even really sure what my AIBU is but I’m so angry that I could cry.

I’m actually amazed that any woman has got to adulthood and never experienced any sort of day to day abuse like this from men. You must be in a tiny minority. Fingers crossed it never happens.

It’s so depressing. I weight train with a female personal trainer in a boxing gym on an industrial estate. The last two weeks she’s called her partner to be there because of some creepy guy she vaguely knows hanging around outside and peering in through the door. We’re just two women trying to respectively exercise or work. Leave us the fuck alone.

It’s so depressing. I weight train with a female personal trainer in a boxing gym on an industrial estate. The last two weeks she’s called her partner to be there because of some creepy guy she vaguely knows hanging around outside and peering in through the door. We’re just two women trying to respectively exercise or work. Leave us the fuck alone.

Ah here come the NAMALT comments.

Of course women are at greater risk than men walking alone in a rural area. What’s going to happen to your husband really?

No cant say i remember being treated any different to a man, I treat others like they are humans and cant say i have ever felt they treat me differently

@Givemeanamethen that man in the woods could have a knife or be a psychopath. Noone knows who is about

Don't worry. Men are always talked to like this on Mumsnet (I'm female before anyone throws that accusation) sometimes a group love a pile on.

If you look on blackmumsnetters the exact same thing happens if a white women dares to make any sympathetic or allying comment.

I get that you were offering your comments in good faith. Ignore any hate!

Statistically men are more likely to be mugged, physically assaulted, stabbed or killed than women by a stranger they have never met.

Now just like women never ask for it by how they dress, the myth surrounding men asking for it is that they are criminal drug dealers or violent yobs. The data doesn’t support either myth.

Yes it is true a man isn’t vulnerable in the exact same way as a woman, but they are vulnerable in a similar enough way to “stranger danger” that I think some of the responses to yabberwock’s posts were unnecessarily shitty.

He could be, yes. And who’s he going to attack? A man or a woman?

You are extraordinarily lucky.

Completely agree, especially from the very 'angry' op. It's bullying behaviour.

It's the fear of rape and the fear of being physically weaker. Yes men are raped, and that is fucking awful but it is not nearly as common.

Or a woman starts a thread about the dangers we have to consider as women which men do not and immediately it’s hijacked by a man saying it’s the same for 6” 2 men. Anyone who thinks that is as thick as mince.

it wasn’t a NAMALT comment. It was a although I’m a man, I’ve felt the same fear AND actually been attacked so can sympathise with OP type of comment from YW.

Editing to add I am a woman myself

How is that at all relevant to my post about running and walking alone as a woman in rural areas?

Go and start another thread about the dangers of men fighting with strangers in bars or public transport and other busy places.

Well men are more commonly murdered than women by strangers for no reason when alone outside their home.

The fear we have isn’t just of rape…
I have been raped and survived a knife attack/attempted murder they’re both terrifying and while our vulnerability is unique, it’s not exclusive to women.

You can get help for your anxiety.

As to your original dilemma op. Stop dragging your knuckles. I can see how pent up you are by how absolutely unnecessarily rude you were to @Yabberwok . Totally uncalled for. And all the 'centring yourself ' rubbish doesn't wash.

You can spend your life being angry. Or you could accept that life is unfair, it'll never be fair. It was never promised to be. Ants get stood on every day and killed with ant powder because we see them as smaller and therefore less worthy than a cat or dog or ladybird or any other bigger creature. Is that fair ? Nope. But there we are.

Women are smaller, weaker, more vulnerable. Always have been, always will be.

Most men are awesome. Some are predatory or misogynistic bastards. But they're stronger than us. Therefore we have to take measures to protect ourselves. Not take unnecessary risks like running in the dark in the woods on our own.

The statistics of something terrible happening are probably rather low. Let's not exaggerate. But if it did happen, you'd stand way less chance than a male. That's your survival instinct kicking in. It's just the way we're wired up. To protect our survival. And men are a threat to us: theoretically.

You can spend the rest of your life being angry and blaming every innocent male or you can risk assess and just get on with your life.

And it's also not fair to assume that all men are somehow to blame.

Yes it was.

Exactly, I've had to explain to my daughters about rape, being aware of their surroundings including drink spiking, and even how to collect dna evidence under their nails should something happen.

My 6ft 3" son, not so much.

But op, if it makes you feel better, men are scared too and also don't forget NAMALT.

Reported.

I see it as relevant because it was while camping alone in a rural area that I was attacked by a man with a knife who intended to kill me.

I am sorry if this makes you more afraid, but seriously when out alone running/walking you have never once thought of the potential for being murdered? It’s only been rape?

You must not be aware of all the murder victims they find in the countryside every year who were killed there and not killed in an urban area and dumped there.

The replies to this thread have gone so weird so quickly. Can’t we complain about being scared whilst out running without having to give endless disclaimers and apologies about not all men are attackers, men are scared too…

Why cant we just talk about ourselves and what we are worried about? Why shouldn’t we be fucking angry?

No. Men are more likely to be murdered. You’ve made up ‘for no reason at all’. Part of the statistic is that men are more likely to engage in fights with men they don’t know that women are. Obviously. Because women know they would be at a huge disadvantage so don't react when men harass them, as one did to me tonight.

Can we not have a conversation about the lack of freedom women have compared to men without having to centre men? Fucking Hell.