To think we’ve lost the concept of men being men and women being women, and society is worse off for it?

[ThatNimbleKhakiAnt]

Traditional gender roles may not have been perfect but at least they provided structure. Now everything is blurred and instead of progress, we just have confusion. Are relationships stronger? Are people happier? I don’t think so. It feels like in trying to fix things, we’ve just made everything messier.

AIBU to think we’ve lost something valuable?

They’ve been completely ignored from the entire debate.

I’m a feminine woman who likes getting mani/pedis, getting her hair done, putting on make up and nice clothes and enjoys a good stiletto heel….but also am a mad football fan and season ticket holder of over 10 years, am the main breadwinner in the family earning 3x what my DH does and was sadly unable to conceive despite many years of trying, lots of tests etc….what does that make me? I assume by ‘typical’ gender roles it would make me a failure - unable to provide my husband with offspring like a good wife should?

Having had the honour of working for many years alongside a lady from the same generation as my parents (now early 70s), a lady who was without doubt the top of her field in the area of work she was in, but was denied the stellar career she could and should have had because she was born too early and had kids in the 70s so was forced to leave the workforce, I think the changes that have happened are only for the positive.

Now, off you pop. The 1950s are calling and you need to get that dinner in the oven! 🙄

At this very minute there's a thread on Mumsnet where a number of women are reacting with varying degrees of disgust and derision at the very thought of men wearing nail polish.

Opinions are not all equally valid. Hitler’s opinions were absolute anathema to a functioning healthy, fair society for example as is the patriarchy in its many incarnations. A child sometimes cannot decern between opinions adults can and should.

They’re clearly not mumsnetters who grew up in the 80s. I love me a man with a bit of guyliner. Nick Rhodes anyone?

Same here. He also cooks because he’s better at it than I am and I build furniture and do DIY because I’m better at it than he is. Sweet FA to do with gender roles, we just use our different skills to best run our household and support our family.

No, I think the fact that gender roles have softened (albeit not dissolved) is a good thing, for the reasons that pps have mentioned and because practically, one size does not fit all. It never did really, but the increasing number of households with single adults on their own or with children, or those living only with those of their own sex throws this issue into an even sharper light. Men living on their own or with other men for example, can't dine off gender roles. They have to be able to feed themselves, even if all they do is go on Just Eat or heat something up in the microwave. Women have to be able to unblock sinks (or at least know who to talk to and how to describe the problem that's arisen under the sink or whatever it is that's malfunctioned.)

I was reading about a woman's experience of being on a maternity time out and feeling a massive financial weight to get a job and spiralling into depression. She had a husband. It isn't right.

Why not? If you have a child, it’s your responsibility to be able to support that child.

Because her husband should be able to handle it... she shouldn't be in that provider role

You may well be right but regardless that's a sizeable number of Mumsnetters who see nail polish as an affectation that only women should wear.

I think things are harder for families with needing two incomes and juggling home and parenting on top. I think there’s a lot more pressure generally in society.

I don’t think gender roles are the issue.

Men being men and women being women served the patriarchy pretty well. Very glad indeed that some cultures and societies have moved beyond it.

The Op hasn’t come back to clarify what exactly she was meaning.
I personally think that every change brings about consequences and some will be positive, some negative.
One of the negatives for example is that if both parents have to work full time people have become too tired to cook properly and have also, over time, lost the skills to do so. The reliance on processed food means the nation’s diet is pretty atrocious and the health of the country on the whole declines.

We need to accept that there are negatives to societal change and think about how to make it so we can find better solutions to them.
Talking about this doesn’t mean a wish to return to the past, or at least it doesn’t mean that to me. It means that if someone sees a problem that has arisen being able to discuss it, without being called names is important.
I understand that if someone simply says “ it was better back in the day” it is seen as dismissive, but I choose to think of it as a starting point where the person is expressing, albeit without having a wider view, their feelings on a certain topic.

🙄

What are traditional gender roles? Seeing as pre Industrial Revolution everyone in the family worked (including shock/horror women) to make sure food was on the table. There’s a tiny period in time where women were expected to be housewives.

Why not? Why can't she handle it too?

I love providing for my children.

Women in the aristocracy and the royals always did fuck all. It was just the working class women pre industrial revolution that worked.

100% agree with you

It's a more masculine role. Within the marriage family unit.

Not in my marriage.

I agree with you @ThatNimbleKhakiAnt

I don't really...

You can look at it like that or look at it like we used to have half the country at work and that worked, and now, it's everyone i suppose some people enjoy it though but that being the case, there have always been ways to make money without anyone's permission

Can you imagine the damage to the economy if all women put on a pinny and started hoovering and making vol au vents.

When did only half the country work @Ashley911 ?