To think we’ve lost the concept of men being men and women being women, and society is worse off for it?

[ThatNimbleKhakiAnt]

Traditional gender roles may not have been perfect but at least they provided structure. Now everything is blurred and instead of progress, we just have confusion. Are relationships stronger? Are people happier? I don’t think so. It feels like in trying to fix things, we’ve just made everything messier.

AIBU to think we’ve lost something valuable?

Have you considered thinking of people primarily as, well, people?

I have no idea what that means.

Men are men and women are women and always have been. Some people identify as trans. But they are still their birth sex.

Some people of either sex look and act and do things that are more 'traditionally' associated with the opposite sex. Which is completely fine.

What is the point you're making?

Yes, marital rape and financial abuse, what’s not to love?

Which gendered traditions are you yearning to bring back OP? Men being landowners and their wives being their chattel? Baby boys wearing pink and girls blue? Marital rape being legal? Women only wearing trousers to ride a bicycle? Secretary being a men's (well-paid) job? Programmer being a women's (poorly-paid) job? Boys playing with Action Man & girls playing with Barbie?

I’m not confused. I’m a woman, my dh is a man. We have dc and ddog we both work to provide for. We share household tasks and everything else. Everyone in the house pulls their weight.

I’d rather not get slapped around because I’m a woman who didn’t know her place and didn’t have dinner on the table thanks.

no. I would bang Marlon Brando though, if one concept of “men being men” had to be “found”.

It's the small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri I feel worst for.

I think most women seem better built to take on in addition to prime nurturer the traditional male roles, eg provider/protector as well as the plethora of so called male led jobs. Whereas men are not biologically wired to return the favour as much. Equal but biologically different, is my conclusion and I'm not sure it can all be sociologically fixed.

What are these traditional roles that you speak of?
Women with no financial autonomy? Reliant on goodwill of a man’s permission to work, invest or spend money?
Men excluded from taking a pro active role in raising a family and domestic tasks?

The only bit of the "traditional set-up" I think is worth a revival, is being able to raise a family on a single income and have 1 parent home. That parent does not have to be the mother though.

I live in a culture where traditional gender roles very much still apply. Men do the work, women keep the home and raise the children. I have to say I would find any other way of living to be absolutely unbearable, though those from other cultures probably think the same about me.

My DH has never lifted a finger in the home and I've never paid a bill, and that's exactly how I like it.

I think it was worse for women in the past. Handed from father to husband and having little direction over their own lives. No thanks.

Genuine question: Why are people so outrageously rude?

I would find traditional gender roles horrifically stultifying. I'm not a homemaker, I'm a professional.

No chance
My DH and I have an equal relationship
Both have our careers, share all housework,childcare etc
Would not have it any other way

👏👏👏

As long as there is a choice, you will have couples where both parents work (or non-parents, increasing number of child-free couples) in order to maximise combined wealth and buy a better house, etc. This will drive up property prices (and the price of everything else) pressuring more and more families to move to a dual income.

Genuine answer: because threads like this deserve it.

Are you confused OP? I'm not confused. I'm a woman & a mum.

Also a full time employee. A home owner, a searcher for a search & rescue team. I run, I cycle. I practice a martial art.

Which part of that is confusing? My son's not confused. I don't think anyone I know is confused either. 😊

Do you have children and if so is this what you want for them

Well I'm sure they're estatic in Afghanistan then. Of course yabu.

Yes and yes if it's what they choose.

We haven't lost the concept, we have rejected it as it fails to serve ALL equal members of society. Do you feel your privilege slipping away?

Nah. I like being allowed to do man things too.