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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for being upset my husband won't learn to drive?

179 replies

CrownedInFlame · 08/08/2025 14:23

I drive and have done for 15 years, I had to force myself to learn (didn't want to) because our families live 200 miles away and it wasn't fair on my dad to drive up and pick us up so we could spend time with them.

He finally agreed to get his CBT last year and has been riding a scooter since but he refuses to take lessons saying it's scarier driving a car, I think it's scarier driving a bike however I've never tried so I can't say for sure.
I would really appreciate it if he would at least try some driving lessons because I think most people are nervous doing something they've never done before.

Someone crashed into my car, it wasn't awful but it really shook me and I'm now so nervous. I have some health issues that I know will get worse and later may not be able to drive, this will mean, with no other family around, I'll be a bit isolated and worried about getting to hospital and things like this as I wouldn't be able to get a bus. I could get taxi though but the cost would mount up. I wasn't trying to guilt him, it was more about expressing my worries.

If we don't drive, it'll make us isolated, difficult to see family, holidays etc.

I'm not telling him to get his full license, I'm just asking him to TRY. To take lessons and see if his confidence grows.

Most times I do think I'm being unreasonable, that I can't force someone to do something they don't want, and I know there are others out there in worst situations. I think going from being able to drive around to suddenly having to stop/reduce things would be hard for anyone.

It would be nice to be able to share the driving especially on long trips to see family etc.
I don't drive so that's never an issue, I'm fine being the designated driver.

I just feel so anxious driving at the moment and a little upset that it was me who HAD to learn to drive and then drive him around to everything.

OP posts:
NoMoreLifts · 13/08/2025 19:13

Milliejacksonhouseforsale · 09/08/2025 08:01

He's only done his CBT he would need to do full bike test to carry pillion passenger and that also allows a more powerful bike/scooter.

And I think CBT 'runs out' after 2 years, there's a compulsory break, cos you are meant to take your full test.

Kayleighfish · 13/08/2025 21:01

Oh this thread has made me feel bloody awful.

Between career changes with drops in pay to study, maternity leaves, house deposits...I've never had the spare cash for lessons. My husband does all the driving and he's never complained, but has said if we're ever in the position to look at a block of lessons once kids are older we can.

Still, I feel sensitively judge 🤣.

Disturbia81 · 13/08/2025 21:15

Kayleighfish · 13/08/2025 21:01

Oh this thread has made me feel bloody awful.

Between career changes with drops in pay to study, maternity leaves, house deposits...I've never had the spare cash for lessons. My husband does all the driving and he's never complained, but has said if we're ever in the position to look at a block of lessons once kids are older we can.

Still, I feel sensitively judge 🤣.

It’s mad to judge people for this. I always say on these threads can you imagine if everyone drove? The roads are already chaos, we need less drivers.

LoyalMember · 14/08/2025 12:03

Disturbia81 · 13/08/2025 21:15

It’s mad to judge people for this. I always say on these threads can you imagine if everyone drove? The roads are already chaos, we need less drivers.

No, the more that can drive the better, but we don't necessarily need more cars. Driving's a real life skill that's pretty much invaluable in this day and age.

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